Thread by @1goodtern

Ten things people say about Covid, what they mean, and what I say to them when they say it:

1
"I'm done with Covid now"
=
"I have a short attention span / compassion span"

I reply:
"Covid isn't done with you.
It's going to keep infecting you repeatedly until you die."

2
"You can't avoid getting it"
=
"I don't understand how Covid transmission works"

I reply:
"Maybe. But I can keep the number of times I catch it to a minimum, and four and a half years in, that number is zero."

3
"Covid is over"
=
"My head is firmly stuck in the sand like an ostrich but even deeper"

I reply:
"It clearly isn't.
Are you deliberately ignoring hospitalisations, disability, deaths, and the damage that's being done to everyone's immunity and general health?"

4
"It's just a cold"
=
"I don't understand long term health problems"

I reply:
"The first stage like a cold? That's just your body's defence, not the viral damage. Polio, HIV, and Lyme all initially present as mild cold-like infections."

5
"I don't know anyone vulnerable"
=
"I don't care about anyone vulnerable"

I reply:
"You either don't know what vulnerable means, or you don't know what covid does, or you don't know anyone, or you're lying."

6
"Covid is a hoax" (archaic)
=
"I have difficulty evaluating information sources"

I reply:
"You're not in touch with reality. Next time you are, come back and talk."

7
"You need to catch it/keep catching it for your immunity"
=
"I am not capable of critical thinking"

I reply:
"You don't get immunity from covid by catching Covid. There are groups of people where it's now normal to have had it a dozen times."

8
"This is just hayfever"
=
"My anxiety is so high that my brain has automatically entered into intense denial mode"

I reply:
"I know you want to comfort yourself that covid was harmless for you, but it wasn't, was it?"

9
"I don't want to live in fear"
=
"I don't want to think"

I reply:
"There are some things you should respect.
Covid is one of them."

10
"No one's getting ill any more"
=
"I refuse to look at easily available government data"

I reply:
"Donald Trump once said that if you don't test, it will go away. But that's not how reality works."

11
"I've got a strong immune system"
=
"I don't know how viruses or immune systems work"

I reply:

"That's interesting, did you know that covid can turn your immune system against your organs? I hope your strong immune system doesn't start attacking your lung or kidney or heart or brain tissue."

12
"It's not covid"
=
"It might not be covid"
=
"It could be covid"
=
"Yeah, it's covid"

I reply:
"Yeah, it is covid."

13
"I'm fully protected"
=
"I'm partially protected by vaccinations that don't prevent catching covid or transmitting it, and that only reduce the chance of death and serious illness and long term disability"

I reply:

"There is no such thing as fully protected. If you're infected with covid, whether you're vaccinated or not, you still remain at increased risk of organ damage and long covid."

14
"I bounced back straight away"
=
"I've given up most of the things I used to love doing that involved standing up or walking"

I reply:

"How's your blood pressure? How's your kidney function? How's your memory? How's your sense of smell? How's your balance? How are your energy levels? How's your heart? How's your breathing?"

15
"It was mild"
=
"I was treated by paramedics at home, had a fourteen day course of antivirals and couldn't work for all that time, but didn't get admitted to hospital"

I reply:

"It's not the damage to the paintwork that's important. It's the damage under the hood."

16
"Covid isn't the only virus, you know"
=
"I need to distract you"

I reply:
"Yes, and covid may have made you more vulnerable to all of them."

17
"I didn't go anywhere and still caught it"
=
"I popped into the shops, hairdressers, my friend's house and a session of pilates and could have caught it anywhere"

I reply:
"Yes, so wouldn't it be great to take simple action that meant we were all less exposed to it?"

18
"I'm very careful"
=
"PAAARTY"

I reply:
"Covid moves like smoke and lingers on the air. If you go anywhere where the air contains a significant proportion of unfiltered exhaled air, and you breathe that air in unfiltered, you're not being careful."

19
"We've got to learn to live with Covid" (archaic)
=
"We're just going to keep catching it repeatedly without learning anything"

I reply:
"Learning to live with something involves figuring out how to stop it killing you, not just pretending it doesn't exist."

20
"I can't handle Covid on top of everything else right now"
=
"I'm soon going to have to handle having Covid on top of everything else right now"

I reply:

"Then pretty soon you'll have to handle covid and the damage it does to you on top of everything else."

21
"You're just anxious"
=
"I'm just ignorant"

I reply:
"You're just ignorant."

22
"I've lived my life"
=
"I don't care if my illness is a burden on healthcare resources"

I reply:
"Please don't moan to me during the six months you have suffering with kidney dysfunction before you die of a stroke."

23
"You just need to catch it and then you'll stop worrying"
=
"Join the podpeople"

I reply:
"I've been hospitalised twice by viruses. I'm not worrying, I'm taking sensible precautions. And, yes, you're right, I won't worry when I'm dead."

24
"What can you do about it, eh?"
=
"I lack imagination, discipline, compassion, or common sense"

I reply:
"Air filtration, free testing, supported isolation, vaccines, better public health education, ventilation. Loads. You can do loads."

25
"I've moved on"
=
"I don't like reality"

I reply:
"You moved too early. The dangers haven't moved on."

26
"We have the tools"
=
"I am rich and entitled"

I reply:
"But we're barely using them. Very few people can get antivirals. Only a tiny number of kids have been vaccinated here. Most adults haven't been vaccinated for two years."

27
"God will protect me"
=
"I don't know how God works"

I reply:
"That's not how God works. That's not how viruses work. God gave you a mind, you should use it."

28
"No one's dying any more"
=
"I like to be ignorant and ill-informed"

I reply:
"Hundreds are dying each week. It's still the number one cause of death for many ages groups right now."

29
"Was it with covid or by covid?"
=
"Please block me"

I reply:
"If you went into a hospital with a gunshot wound, and your heart stopped, is that by gunshot or with gunshot?"

30
"Don't forget to wash your hands"
=
"I should not be allowed anywhere near public health"

I reply:
"The vast majority of Covid infections are caused by people inhaling viral particles that drift on exhaled air."

31
"We don't do Covid"
=
"Covid is about to do us"

I reply:
"Does all of reality act upon your will, or just Covid?"

32
"It's just a sniffle"
=
"I don't understand the body's immune defences"

I reply:
"The sniffle is your body's defence, not covid. Covid is under the surface, affecting the linings of your blood vessels, causing microclots, triggering your immune system to attack your nerves."

33
"Even Covid has to obey physics"
=
"I don't understand Covid or physics"

I reply:
"So we can use physics to defeat it. Filters, ventilation, dilution, isolation, testing. Use the science."

34
"We've got to protect the economy"
=
"I haven't grasped that making people ill damages the economy"

I reply:
"Covid is affecting the economy. Haven't you seen how many people are now off long term sick here?"

35
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"
=
"This is the exit wave"

I reply:

"This winter is never going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow."

36
"You're just a scaremonger"
=
"I don't want to admit you have a firm grasp on reality, and I would like to continue living in fantasy land"

I reply:

"I genuinely want to be wrong, but I've been right for most of the last four and a half years. And actually, yes, I think you should be scared."

37
"It's becoming milder"
=
"I love wishful thinking, it makes my heart glow"

I reply:
"Big nope. It's doing sooo much damage under the skin. Look around."

38
"Why would they lie to us?"
=
"I regret that I have never had an independent thought in my life"

I reply:
"Because they're a combination of corrupt, unimaginative, stupid, deceitful, malicious, exceptionalist, incompetent, optimistic, and complacent."

39
"Long Covid is people being lazy and anxious"
=
"I deserve very little sympathy next time I'm ill"

I reply:
"That is genuinely such a horrible attitude to take. These are people with genuine physical health problems. I hope you never found out the hard way how wrong you are."

40
"Lockdowns were terrible, the disease is better than the cure"
=
"I have deliberately avoided the testimony of people who have been affected by Covid"

I reply:

"Our country would have been totally overwhelmed without lockdowns. Society would have broken. It would have caused a million deaths within a year, when factoring in the damage to everything."

41
"Slowing the spread will prolong the pandemic"
=
"I do not deserve to be a professor"

I reply:
"I'd rather be infected by Covid four times in 12 years, than 12 times in four years... and then 12 more times in the next four years."

42
"There are a lot of bugs around"
=
"Covid has damaged my immune system"

I reply:
"And more of them will damage you now covid has damaged you."

43
"I don't know anyone who has died from Covid"
=
"Where's Lewis's dad? And that guy I used to sit next to at work? And that lollipop lady?"

I reply:
"I think you do."

44
"Masks make no difference"
=
"I don't understand the quality of the research on fluid dynamics, convection diffusion, electrostatic properties, and particle filtration."

I reply:

"Yes, they do, especially quality masks of ffp2+ standards, worn properly. This has been established science for decades."

45
"People have always died suddenly"
=
"oh sh*t oh sh*t oh sh*t"

I reply:
"Yes, good, so you understand that people can die suddenly, now you can learn the concept that more people are dying suddenly because of a virus,"

46
"You don't need that mask, you know"
=
"I'm not doing a single thing to protect myself or anyone so you absolutely do need that mask"

I reply:
"Covid is dangerous. There's lots of it round. I need this mask."

47
"But you look really well"
=
"I have less than no idea what you or anyone suffering long covid is going through"

I reply:
"You can't tell someone is damaged by looking at them. Do you think a used car is good because it's shiny?"

48
"My risk is low"
=
"I do not understand that: Covid can damage my immune system, I will likely infect people if I am infected, Covid damage is cumulative."
and
"I do not care about people whose risk is high"

I reply:

"Maybe but if you catch it, you'll give it to other people, guaranteed. How do you know their risk will be low?"

49
"No one is interested in your fear mongering"
=
"I am afraid that the things you say are accurate, but I would like to pretend they're not in the hope that it will all go away without me having to do anything"

I reply:
"Fine, just ignore me then."

50
"We're going to put a wall of protection around the vulnerable"
=
"I'm going to chuck billions of pounds of easy money to my friends and other random rich people"

I reply:
"You belong in jail."

51
"Don't you trust your body to heal itself?"
=
"Please tell me about how viruses work."

I reply:
"No, I don't trust my body to heal itself, on the evidence that one in ten infections leave people unable to heal themselves."

52
"There are other more important problems"
=
"I'm not dealing with any of the other problems"

I reply:
"When a growing proportion of the population is disabled, do you think it will be easier to deal with other problems?"

53
"Why is everyone so sick all the time?"
=
"Please please give me a reason other than that Covid has made us all more vulnerable to illness"

I reply:
"Sorry, it's clearly established that Covid infections can damage your ability to fight other infections."

54
"When are you going to take off that mask"
=
"You wearing a mask reminds me something is wrong"

I reply:
"When I know for certain there are no airborne covid infections causing disability and death"

55
"I just want things to feel normal"
=
"Please stop reminding me things aren't normal"

I reply:
"Things aren't normal. Repeatedly catching a virus that can damage your heart brain liver kidneys blood vessels lungs is not normal."

56
"I'm traumatised by masking"
(no translation for this one, it's not a laughing matter).

I reply:

"Are you traumatised by the masking, which dentists and demolition workers have done every day for decades, or are you traumatised by the dangerous virus against which masks are a protection?"

57
"The vaccinated aren't suffering from it, just the people who took the experimental cyborg jabby shots"
=
"Meep morp goto function error"

I reply:

"Look, either you're a bot or you are just regurgitating the talking points of bots. You're not talking science, and you're not talking reality.
You're trying to harm people by encouraging them to get infected without protection, and that's really a horrible thing to do."

58
"These problems aren't caused by covid infections now, they were caused by people not sharing infectious pathogens so much for a few weeks five years ago"
=
"I refuse to think"

I reply:

"Please do think. Please think for a moment about the people who go for months to the international space station and on submarines, and solo hikes, and to Antarctica. They're not cursed forever with unreal conditions like immunity debt.
But Covid infections have been...

... But Covid infections have been proven to cause all the things that are being blamed on 'lockdowns' :
Brain damage leading to mental health problems
Heart damage causing heart problems
Damage to immune systems and bodies causing vulnerability to infection...

... covid infections harm people. That is the actual reality of the situation.
You need to learn to live with reality."

59
"It's only killing people who would have died now anyway"
=
"I lack compassion, understanding, and perspective"

I reply:
"That's just not true. But even if it were true (which it isn't) that still leaves all the people it is making increasingly sick and disabled"

60
<silence>
=
"I refuse to talk about this subject because reasons (possibly because I'm a politician)"

I reply:
"This isn't the Candyman or Voldemort, this isn't a fairy tale. This is reality, and you need to talk about it, you coward."

61
"If you're scared of it, you should stay home"
=
"I am callous, cruel, mean, trying to hurt you, and ignorant and unimaginative"

I reply:

"Well, we can't, can we. We have to go out into the increasingly dangerous world you've created. We have jobs and needs. We have to go to hospital, the dentist, shops. We can't 'just stay home'. Your actions make every place hazardous for us, but you don't make any...

... but you don't many any accommodation for us, and then when we wear masks you abuse us and laugh at us. No, we don't think we should stay at home. We think we should create better safer shared spaces for everyone."

62
"Humans have survived millions of years without <insert way of staying healthy here>"
=
"I don't understand how different the modern world is to any other period of history"

I reply:

"I don't even know where to start with that. First of all, the mortality rate throughout loads of prehistory was sky high. People died young. In pain. I can't believe you're even a serious person with a position of responsibility."

63
"It's not an extinction level event"
=
"I am having difficulty dealing with proportion right now"

I reply:
"Does something have to kill every human on the planet to be bad now? Should we not treat athlete's foot because it's not an extinction level event?"

64
"I want my daughter to see smiles"
=
"I want to pretend that my daughter is going to be ok"

I reply:
"People don't smile with their mouths.
They smile with their heart.
They smile with consideration and gentleness and not infecting people with dangerous diseases."