Quotes from Trump's roast! 👇
On the Teleprompter: "They told me, under no circumstances are you allowed to use a teleprompter. And I got up here, and I see there's this beautiful teleprompter. So here I am."
On Senator Schumer: "Senator Schumer, good. Yeah, I supported him... I gave him his first check...and I was very proud of it. I don't know about lately."
On Mayor Adams: "Mayor Adams, good luck with everything. They went after you... He's going to be indicted any moment. And guess what happened? But you're going to win." "Mr. Mayor, you're peanuts compared to what they've done to me." "I've never met a person who's a vegan who liked turkey so much."
On Subpoenas: "Anytime I don't get a subpoena, I'm very happy."
On Fact-Checking Jokes: "This will be the first time in the history of this event where jokes will be fact-checked."
On Kamala Harris' Absence: "My opponent feels like she does not have to be here, which is deeply disrespectful…The last Democrat not to attend this important event was Walter Mondale, and it did not go very well for him. He lost 49 states." "If you really wanted Vice President Harris to accept your invitation, I guess you should have told her the funds were going to bail out the looters and rioters in Minneapolis. Guaranteed."
On His "Normal Crowd": "I know this isn't my normal crowd tonight... My normal crowd is younger, has a lot more energy... like cash, lots of cash."
On the Democratic Party: "Many of you are Manhattan liberals...and the Democrat Party. I always say the Democrat Party because it sounds worse."
On Self-Deprecating Jokes: "Tradition holds that I'm supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening. Nope. I've got nothing."
On Kamala Harris and Debates: "There's a person that has nothing going — no intelligence whatsoever, but enough about Kamala Harris." "I've debated twice this year — once against Joe Biden and once against David Muir of ABC."
On His Family and Campaigning: "Campaigning can take a toll on a family, although I hear that Kamala and her husband carved out some really beautiful alone time... Just her and the teleprompter."
On CNN and Joe Biden's Visibility: "Joe has almost disappeared from view. The only way he could be seen less is if he had a show on CNN."
On Chuck Schumer as First Woman President: "If Kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman President."
On "White Dudes for Harris": "There's a group called White Dudes for Harris... I'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives' lovers are all voting for me."
On The View: "The stupid show, The View, is so bad...they really need to bring Rosie O'Donnell back."
On Bill de Blasio: "I'm surprised that Bill de Blasio was actually able to make it tonight... He was a terrible mayor…That's not comedy...That's fact." "Unlike the rest of New York, at least Bill doesn't have to worry about the criminals. They owe him big."
On Roasting Hillary Clinton: "They told me the last time I did this, I was running against Crooked Hillary... I thought it was a roast... The room was angry. Even the Cardinal remembers."
On "Fake News": "Fake news, right? Fake. That term wasn't good... they say that term is no longer invoked because it's much worse than fake."
On the Teleprompter: "They told me, under no circumstances are you allowed to use a teleprompter. And I got up here, and I see there's this beautiful teleprompter. So here I am."
On Senator Schumer: "Senator Schumer, good. Yeah, I supported him... I gave him his first check...and I was very proud of it. I don't know about lately."
On Mayor Adams: "Mayor Adams, good luck with everything. They went after you... He's going to be indicted any moment. And guess what happened? But you're going to win." "Mr. Mayor, you're peanuts compared to what they've done to me." "I've never met a person who's a vegan who liked turkey so much."
On Subpoenas: "Anytime I don't get a subpoena, I'm very happy."
On Fact-Checking Jokes: "This will be the first time in the history of this event where jokes will be fact-checked."
On Kamala Harris' Absence: "My opponent feels like she does not have to be here, which is deeply disrespectful…The last Democrat not to attend this important event was Walter Mondale, and it did not go very well for him. He lost 49 states." "If you really wanted Vice President Harris to accept your invitation, I guess you should have told her the funds were going to bail out the looters and rioters in Minneapolis. Guaranteed."
On His "Normal Crowd": "I know this isn't my normal crowd tonight... My normal crowd is younger, has a lot more energy... like cash, lots of cash."
On the Democratic Party: "Many of you are Manhattan liberals...and the Democrat Party. I always say the Democrat Party because it sounds worse."
On Self-Deprecating Jokes: "Tradition holds that I'm supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening. Nope. I've got nothing."
On Kamala Harris and Debates: "There's a person that has nothing going — no intelligence whatsoever, but enough about Kamala Harris." "I've debated twice this year — once against Joe Biden and once against David Muir of ABC."
On His Family and Campaigning: "Campaigning can take a toll on a family, although I hear that Kamala and her husband carved out some really beautiful alone time... Just her and the teleprompter."
On CNN and Joe Biden's Visibility: "Joe has almost disappeared from view. The only way he could be seen less is if he had a show on CNN."
On Chuck Schumer as First Woman President: "If Kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman President."
On "White Dudes for Harris": "There's a group called White Dudes for Harris... I'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives' lovers are all voting for me."
On The View: "The stupid show, The View, is so bad...they really need to bring Rosie O'Donnell back."
On Bill de Blasio: "I'm surprised that Bill de Blasio was actually able to make it tonight... He was a terrible mayor…That's not comedy...That's fact." "Unlike the rest of New York, at least Bill doesn't have to worry about the criminals. They owe him big."
On Roasting Hillary Clinton: "They told me the last time I did this, I was running against Crooked Hillary... I thought it was a roast... The room was angry. Even the Cardinal remembers."
On "Fake News": "Fake news, right? Fake. That term wasn't good... they say that term is no longer invoked because it's much worse than fake."
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