Daractenus Profile picture
Oct 20, 2024 13 tweets 5 min read Read on X
As I've split my Russian cities "travel guide" into a myriad of different threads and posts, I've decided to finally gather them all in one place (mostly so I can have something to pin on my profile).

Welcome to "Posh Russian cities - The Definitive Edition" 🧵Image
While a romantic sunset, sunrise or the sun in general is not something you're likely to experience in Norilsk - a city that fields a beautiful bi-annual Biblical plague when the local river runs red with pollution, is one for sure bound to go straight to your heart. And lungs.Image
Having "Leave" as the most common answer to the "Things to do in..." question, Magnitogorsk's mix of local dishes is widely recommended as an excellent way to encourage hair loss, while a dip in the local river is equally advised to those looking to possibly acquire superpowers.Image
Famous world-wide for having its acclaimed post-apocalyptic urban scenery depicted in various TV shows, and more recently for having God attempt to whack it with an asteroid, Chelyabinsk is guaranteed to give you the zombie apocalypse experience you always dreamt of.Image
Sporting several new strains of hepatitis and a very diverse ethnic mix, Chita's public sanitation system and the city's vast array of culinary delights are guaranteed to take dysentery to a whole new level and make for a truly incurable experience you will not easily forget.Image
Magadan, sometimes affectionately refereed to by its residents as "the place I dream of leaving", managed to reinvent the concept of urban infrastructure and, not being one to let the lack of cars or residents stand in the way, fields internationally acclaimed traffic jams.Image
Appetizingly known as "the cold corner of hell" and having a very deep hole in ground as it's main attraction, Murmansk is beloved to all for it's very sober and mild-mannered residents, which are bound to rob of sympathy any traveler that comes their way.Image
With "My town and destiny" as its motto and often described as a "breath of fresh air" by its 70k proud inhabitants, the city of Asbest, possibly named after the absolutely gigantic open-air asbestos mine sitting right in the middle of it, is guaranteed to take your breath away.Image
With its 200k inhabitants enjoying a life expectancy of 42 and having "life may be bad but at least it's short" as the unofficial motto, Dzerzhinsk is a must among worldwide chemical weapons enthusiasts, with popular tourist hotspots such as "The White Sea" and the "Black hole".Image
Sporting an exquisite smog bound to satisfy even the most pretentious of the coal enthusiasts out there, Vorkuta prides itself in a rich history of forced labor, crimes against humanity and a perfectly conserved 1930s vintage sewage system.Image
With over a million potholes, about as many people trying to get out and enough mud to cover everyone's needs, Omsk operates a one-station metro system which, while allowing for instantaneous arrivals and departures, will rather symbolically take you absolutely nowhere.Image
With a high GDP per capita by Russian standards, the perpetually flooded city of Syktyvkar is the place where Putin's party once won by campaigning on the - yet undelivered - "a pallet for every puddle" promise, having correctly identified that as the only sensible solution.Image
Fielding a remarkable number of Buddhist temples and a devoutly homicidal population that make the former rather pointless, the enticingly friendly Kyzyl prides itself in being occasionally safer than your average warzone while having a roughly similar standard of living.Image

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More from @Daractenus

Apr 23
In the past 55 days, the president of the US has averaged about 20 social media posts a day, ranging from Bruce Lee videos to AI content of him beating up Canadians. To highlight this man's increasing descent into madness, I've put together a timeline of his Iran War posts.🧵
Day 4 of the war: Trump announces that the entire Iranian military is gone and the Iranians want to negotiate, an offered he claims to have flatly refused, on ground of it being "too late". Image
Day 7th of the war: Trump announces he will not make any deal whatsoever with Iran except an "UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER". Thanks all the many brave and wonderful US allies. Image
Read 22 tweets
Apr 22
With the US now on the verge of achieving pure idiocracy and a brand new form of government that can only be described in terms of coconuts and bananas, I’ve decided to expand my guide to what is arguably the most cartoonishly stupid administration known to modern man. 🧵
Married to an obscenely rich man whose children were already having children by the time she was born, and often seen wearing oversized crosses to differentiate herself from her North Korean counterpart, Karoline Leavitt is currently serving as White House Press Secretary.
Famous for having gone bald and aged some 37 years by the time he entered high school, point at which he had already picked up what was to be a lifelong passion for racial purity, Stephen "Reichskommissar" Miller is the current White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy.
Read 15 tweets
Apr 15
With the president of the United States now thinking of himself as Jesus, I figured I’d tell you about the very Trump like Chinese peasant who, after having dreamt one night that he was the younger brother of Jesus, started arguably the bloodiest civil war in human history. 🧵 Image
Born in 1814 in an impoverished Chinese village, the sound of mind Hong Xiuquan would misguide his family into pouring all their meager savings into his education, in hopes of him dragging them out of poverty by passing the infamously difficult Chinese Civil Service Exams. Image
Having spent his entire childhood and teenage years preparing for it, he managed to completely fail the exam three times in a row, more or less bankrupting himself and his entire extended family in the process, which led him to have a rather understandable mental breakdown. Image
Read 10 tweets
Apr 14
The greatest triumph of the incessant hurricane of lies coming from Russia, MAGA, and the likes of Elon Musk has been convincing a significant share of the world, including Europeans, to believe in a “decaying and collapsing” Europe that exists solely in their imagination.🧵
Nearly every single country on the European continent, the one that is supposedly "a totalitarian hellhole with no free speech", ranks significantly higher than the US in terms of freedom of the press, with every single one of the top 10 spots being occupied by European countries.Image
Things are so terrible in Europe from an overall quality of life perspective that last year, just like every other year really, European nations topped the charts of the happiest nations on earth, somewhat taking away from the "Europeans are on the verge of civil war" narrative. Image
Read 11 tweets
Apr 13
I believe it is worth revisiting just how utterly tragic EU accession has been for some of the most recent member states to join, and, in doing so, explain why all local anti-EU actors, for all the backing of Donald Trump and Russia, will always ultimately end up defeated. 🧵
Since tragically joining the union in 2004, Poland has barely even managed to quadruple its GDP and start what is routinely referred to as "The Polish Golden Age", likely an achievement completely unrelated to the quarter of a trillion dollars worth of EU funds it received. Image
Joining in 2007, moment at which it famously topped world charts in efficient governance and standard of living, average wage in Romania went from a nickel and a smile to about $1200 net, with Bucharest alone now having a bigger GDP than all of Serbia and Bulgaria combined. Image
Read 8 tweets
Apr 11
With less than 24 hours left until Hungarians head to the polls, I figured it is a good moment to take one final look at what Viktor Orbán has achieved in his 16 years of uninterrupted, near absolute reign in Hungary, by comparing Hungary’s performance with that of Romania.🧵
In 2010, just as Orban started his second reign, the country stood as the 53rd least corrupt country in the world, while Romania was ranked as 75th.

In 2026, after nearly 16 years of Viktor Orban, Hungary succeeded in being ranked as significantly more corrupt than Romania. Image
Pre-Orban Hungary could at the very least pride itself in having a minimum wage about twice that of Romania, even more, at various points in time.

In 2026, thanks to Viktor Orban's sovereign economic genius, the average wage in Hungary and Romania stands about equal. Image
Read 10 tweets

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