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Nov 18, 2024 21 tweets 8 min read Read on X
Mike Tyson's life is absolutely insane.

The heavyweight champ robbed houses, got his prison counsellor pregnant, and made Brad Pitt beg for his life.

And that's just the tame stuff.

From kilos of cocaine to tigers eating neighbours, meet the scariest man on the planet… Image
Mike Tyson dropped out of school at 7 for a life of crime.

At age 11, he takes acid, robs houses and terrorises locals with a WW1 bayonet.

When a bully rips the head off his pet pigeon, Mike knocks him out.

Soon grown men are knocking on his door, challenging him to fight. Image
By the age of 13, Tyson has been arrested 38 times.

While banged up in juvie, he's sent to maverick boxing trainer Cus D'Amato, who sculpts him into a ruthless fighting machine.

On his pro debut, Mike knocks his opponent out inside 2 minutes. Image
In 1986, Mike gets his shot at the heavyweight title.

There's just one problem... he's got gonorrhea.

"I didn’t know if I had contracted it from a prostitute or a very filthy young lady.”

He wins by TKO, becoming the youngest heavyweight champ ever.

Mike Tyson wins 26 of his first 28 fights by knockout.

He's prolific outside the ring too.

"Once I started banging women, the floodgates opened. Short, tall, sophisticated, ugly, high-society, street girls, my criteria was breathing.”

And sex isn't his only vice... Image
Despite his ravenous cocaine habit, he's cast in an anti-drugs ad.

He laughs later: “The irony is that while I was filming it, I was financing my friend Albert in his crack enterprise."

Now a major star, Mike hangs with 2Pac, hires Donald Trump and dates Naomi Campbell.
In 1988 he marries actress Robin Givens. She claims they spent their first date in a pet shop.

Mike remembers it differently: "I wasn’t petting puppies with her, I was introducing her to my friends the heroin dealers.”

2 years later she accuses him of abuse and they divorce. Image
By this point, Mike is totally off the rails.

So when he catches Robin on a date with Brad Pitt, the Hollywood star is terrified.

“Dude, don’t strike me," Brad stutters. "We were just going over some lines. She was talking about you the whole time.” Image
In 1990, Tyson fights 42/1 outsider Buster Douglas in Tokyo.

"I barely trained. I was fucking those Japanese girls like I was eating grapes."

In one of the great upsets, Buster KOs him and takes his belts.

And things are about to get much darker...

One year later, Tyson is convicted of raping beauty queen Desiree Washington.

Desperate to reduce his sentence, he consults a psychic, who advises him to urinate on a $500 bill and hand it to her.

The judge jails him for 6 years. Image
But it's not exactly cold gruel and hard labour.

Tyson eats KFC in his cell, shags visiting fans in the prison garden, and gets his counsellor pregnant.

He recalls: "I was having so much sex that I was too tired to even go to the gym. I’d just stay in my cell all day." Image
He's released after 3 years, and immediately has $200m of fights lined up.

He splashes out on two pet tigers from Tiger King star Joe Exotic.

When Mike's neighbour jumps the fence to pet the beasts, they rip her arm off.

And they're not the only carnivores in the Tyson camp... Image
After regaining the world title, Mike loses to Evander Holyfield.

In a bad-tempered rematch, Tyson bites a chunk out of Holyfield's ear and spits it on the canvas.

Somehow the fight resumes, and 20 seconds later, he does it again.
Banned for a year, Tyson slides into a major cocaine habit.

To trick drug testers, he uses a prosthetic penis called a whizzinator.

He recalls later: "It was awesome, man. I put my baby's urine in it."

But you don't need to test his piss to see the man is high as a kite... Image
After dispatching Lou Savarese in 38 seconds, a wild-eyed Tyson calls out Lennox Lewis with a terrifying speech.

"My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable. And I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children."

Lewis accepts the challenge.
The pre-fight face-off descends into chaos as Tyson sparks a brawl.

As they lie on the floor, he sinks his teeth into Lewis' thigh, leaving bite marks.

And when a random fan yells abuse at him, Mike launches into a hysterical diatribe.
Lewis knocks a sluggish Tyson out in the 8th round, and within 3 years he's retired.

Despite earning $300m in his career, he declares bankruptcy in 2003, owing $23m.

He moves in with a stripper and lives off cereals and chocolate bars.

He ain't finished, though... Image
In 2009, he gets his big Hollywood break in the Hangover.

He's high on coke for the entirety of filming, and has an escort on set who he shags between scenes.

But the film's success motivates him to kick the cocaine.

He spends $34k a month on weed and shrooms instead.
Maybe that's why he didn't realise Hasbulla is 22 years old.

He cradles the UFC influencer like a cheeky toddler, tickling him and nibbling his ears.

Mike later explains: “I thought he was a baby".
On Friday night, a 58-year-old Mike survived 8 rounds with 27-year-old Jake Paul.

And the old warhorse still delivered the odd comedy moment.

Asked by a 14-year-old about his legacy, he launched into a bleak monologue about eternal nothingness.
And there's more, so much more.

From befriending serial killers to partying with 2Pac, we spill all the best Tyson stories in our latest podcast.

lnk.to/4ojIPB

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