We are telling people there is no hope, they are broken, and not giving them the full story.
How we can start healing ourselves:
Create mitochondrial health: nutritional psychiatry recognizes the need to prioritize nutrition for mitochondrial function. Eat food your ancestors ate. Mitochornial dysfunction is a key feature in bipolar, anxiety, and depression.
Get sunlight: vitamin D is a hormone that carts as an neuroprotective agent. It reduces inflammation and balances serotonin levels. Our body needs it to function, and low levels create mental health symptoms.
Build Emotionally healthy family units: prioritize learning emotional regulation, relationship repair, and boundaries. Secure attachment is one of the greatest predictors of longevity we have. Free education is available everywhere— use it to your advantage.
Research epigenetics: contrary to what we’ve been told, our genes respond to our environment. They are not fixed. Our lifestyle choices, our habits, and our patterns impact genetic expression. None of us are doomed.
Balance your blood sugar: if you have issues regulating your emotions or feel anxious and irritable often, up your protein intake. Protein is the building block of the body and helps our nervous system to stabilize.
Embrace neuroplasticity: through practice, repetition, and consistency our brain can create new neural pathways. None of us are stuck. We have a lifelong ability to re-wire our brain.
Say NO: trying to manage everyone else’s emotional state create disease in our body. This is extremely common for women who’ve been conditioned to be people pleasers. Avoid relationships with people who guilt you for meeting your own needs.
Practice self compassion: start to speak kindly to yourself. See your behaviors as adaptations. Cheer yourself on as you take responsibility to learn and do better. Generational patterns are broken through compassion, not shame.
Prioritize your healthy relationships, limit exposure to toxic ones: our relationships actually create our mental and physical health. Invest time with people who allow you to feel safe, seen, and heard. Toxic relationships cause inflammation.
Bookmark and share. This can change lives.
If you resonate, I have a private community platform @selfhealerscirc where we dive into all of these topics. I’ve witnessed incredible transformations. Spaces do sell out. Join the waitlist: selfhealerscircle.com
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Over-explaining is a stress response. When we over-explain we’re afraid that someone will get upset with us or misunderstand us.
Over-explaining looks like:
- apologizing and trying to prove you’re a “good” person
- giving a lot of details
- going into justifications (every reason you can think of)
- feeling like you can’t stop talking even if you want to
Here’s what an adult child wants to hear from their parent.
(also called accountability)
I know I didn’t always handle my emotions well, and I was overwhelmed often. I can see how that would have been scary for you growing up, and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that alone.
I know me and your (mother, father) fought a lot. We didn’t have the skills to regulate our emotions and didn’t consider the damage that did to you. If I could go back, I would be more aware of how I behaved and I’m sorry.
You can’t be responsible for their issues or happiness.
Here’s Why:
Some parents look to their adult children to be their sole support system. This is especially true if they don’t have a spouse or within a marriage that lack support.
Adult children who are highly sensitive can feel an intense responsibility to fix it. They go into fixer roles, trying to make things better. This becomes a cycle.
The parentified daughter has felt the weight of the world on her shoulders since she was a child. She should have been protected. She should have had someone caring for her.
But her parents came from a different generation. One where they didn’t understand the needs of children. One where they didn’t understand the lifelong impact of her doing too much, too soon.
If you were “mature for their age” you might have been parentified. Parentification is when a child is made to fill an adult role.
This is an invisible trauma that has life long impact.
HERE’S WHY: 🧵
Parentification is an extremely common family dynamic where children are expected to: manage their parents emotions or issues (most common is marital problems), take care of the home & siblings on a regular basis, or act as a peer to a parent.
1. They were parentified themselves
2. They’re overwhelmed & lack support
3. They don’t know/understand the language & culture so they depend on their children
1. Some of us always knew something “happened” to our mothers, but didn’t know what…
A tribute to the mothers who carried silent pain:
Growing up, some of us knew our mothers had been through something extremely painful or unthinkable. Maybe it was how overprotective she was. Or her comments for us to cover up. Maybe it was the way we knew she wasn’t at peace.
A part of us felt like she wasn’t fully capable of showing up. That we needed her to reflect love, approval, and reassurance. But she had walls up…