Thread by @eigenrobot

this is among the more novelly-misogynistic things i have encountered.

i'm not sure i understand it, but it might be explained as a failure mode of third wave feminism's insistence on gender flattening

allow me to explain

in this interaction:

* nicole expresses frustration with a physical danger she's exposed to as a mother with children in tow

* @IanMacAllen responds with aggressive hostility, telling her to harden the fuck up

what an odd thing to say! why is it odd?

@IanMacAllen fairly generally, men do not admonish women for "weakness." it simply isn't done, even if it might be warranted.

"don't be a little bitch" is the sort of thing that you might earnestly say to _another man_ to exhort him to meet some masculine obligation: it is male homosocial

@IanMacAllen aggravating this breach of protocol is expressing the sentiment in a circumstance where a woman's physical fear is completely justified and where her children are at risk, raising it from "bizarre" to the level of "utterly deranged"

@IanMacAllen now I am going to speculate about ian's person. this is unfortunately rude, but he's been rude; and the speculation is relevant

our subject
* identifies as a "shitlib"
* frankly doesn't vibe confidently masculine
* "food and culture. graphic designer. storyteller" this is a Type

@IanMacAllen my hypothesis follows.

1. ian never became comfortable with normal adult masculine norms for behavior, and has had little occasion to

his career as a "writer, critic, and graphic designer" in NYC puts him in circles that are uniformly heterosocial-leaning-female-dominant

@IanMacAllen breaking for a bit because my 3yo is dragging me up to dinner

@IanMacAllen 2. ian determined that nicole was outgroup coded on the basis of her complaining about insane homeless people, a "shitlib" sacred class

this was an act of blasphemy, justifying and even demanding aggression

https://x.com/eigenrobot/status/1845504198663631342?t=u7UdUBQsLax9itSGaVeVgA&s=19

@IanMacAllen 3. misogynistic political animosity is common but you usually see it expressed in more direct terms like "i hope you get raped"

"you're too weak to fight a homeless man while protecting your children" is what needs explaining

@IanMacAllen 4. "women can do anything men can do and are exactly the same" is a kind of central dogma of the third wave feminism that was popular when ian was coming of age

you're not supposed to _actually_ believe that literally ofc. but one could imagine certain kinds of ppl missing that

@IanMacAllen so basically, ian gets mad online at a nice lady. he doesn't understand you, a grown man, are not supposed to get into who's-physically-tougher status competitions with women and that doing so is a sign of mental illness actually

@IanMacAllen "besides, women can do anything men can do. and *I* wouldnt have trouble beating up an insane dude in an elevator while protecting my kid.

pussy. lmao"

am i missing something here 🤔

maybe this is a rube goldberg machine explanation for an interaction that's actually very simple. but my theory of mind is just seizing up