Engineers-turned-PMs keep making the same fatal mistake in stakeholder meetings:
They think logic will save them.
After mentoring a few folks, I've noticed a pattern no one talks about:
They think logic will save them.
After mentoring a few folks, I've noticed a pattern no one talks about:
2/
If you bend too much or too lite, you lose influence.
Here's the painful truth about stakeholder resistance:
Your stakeholders aren't fighting your logic.
They're protecting themselves from threats you don't even see.
If you bend too much or too lite, you lose influence.
Here's the painful truth about stakeholder resistance:
Your stakeholders aren't fighting your logic.
They're protecting themselves from threats you don't even see.
3/
When a VP says "We don't have resources," they're really saying "I have commitments I'm terrified of missing."
The instant you start defending your solution, you've already lost the game.
When a VP says "We don't have resources," they're really saying "I have commitments I'm terrified of missing."
The instant you start defending your solution, you've already lost the game.
4/
Your beautiful charts showing user demand trigger their organizational trauma.
They've seen perfectly logical projects destroy quarterly targets before.
Worse yet - if you don’t even have the data, but you need some work done by internal teams.
Your beautiful charts showing user demand trigger their organizational trauma.
They've seen perfectly logical projects destroy quarterly targets before.
Worse yet - if you don’t even have the data, but you need some work done by internal teams.
5/
Let me show you how this plays out:
Junior PM: "Our data shows users desperately want this feature."
Stakeholder: "We don't have resources."
PM: [clutching their user research] "But the ROI..."
Game over. Trust destroyed.
Let me show you how this plays out:
Junior PM: "Our data shows users desperately want this feature."
Stakeholder: "We don't have resources."
PM: [clutching their user research] "But the ROI..."
Game over. Trust destroyed.
6/
Here's how veteran PMs handle the exact same moment:
"Before I share the feature proposal, could you help me understand what your team is committed to this quarter?"
This isn't just being polite. You've just activated what negotiation experts call tactical empathy.
Here's how veteran PMs handle the exact same moment:
"Before I share the feature proposal, could you help me understand what your team is committed to this quarter?"
This isn't just being polite. You've just activated what negotiation experts call tactical empathy.
7/
The magic happens in what comes next:
"What I'm hearing is resource predictability is crucial. Would it be helpful to see how this feature might actually help your team deliver on existing commitments?"
You've transformed opposition into exploration.
The magic happens in what comes next:
"What I'm hearing is resource predictability is crucial. Would it be helpful to see how this feature might actually help your team deliver on existing commitments?"
You've transformed opposition into exploration.
8/
An even deadlier scenario:
The drive-by feature request.
Picture this:
Stakeholder: "Our top customer needs X feature by Q4"
PM: "That's not on our roadmap..."
Stakeholder: "This is a million-dollar account"
Your product vision just collided with revenue reality.
An even deadlier scenario:
The drive-by feature request.
Picture this:
Stakeholder: "Our top customer needs X feature by Q4"
PM: "That's not on our roadmap..."
Stakeholder: "This is a million-dollar account"
Your product vision just collided with revenue reality.
9/
Here's the counterintuitive approach that changes everything:
"I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. To ensure I understand the full context, could we schedule 30 minutes to dive deeper into the customer's needs?"
Here's the counterintuitive approach that changes everything:
"I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. To ensure I understand the full context, could we schedule 30 minutes to dive deeper into the customer's needs?"
10/
This response leverages what negotiation experts call going to the balcony - creating space between stimulus and response.
But here's what you do in those 30 minutes that changes the game:
This response leverages what negotiation experts call going to the balcony - creating space between stimulus and response.
But here's what you do in those 30 minutes that changes the game:
11/
You don't prepare a defense of your roadmap.
Instead, analyze similar requests from other top accounts.
Look for the underlying pattern that everyone else is missing.
You don't prepare a defense of your roadmap.
Instead, analyze similar requests from other top accounts.
Look for the underlying pattern that everyone else is missing.
12/
When you return, you've transformed a tactical feature request into a strategic opportunity:
"I've analyzed feedback from our top 10 accounts. They're all asking for variations of the same capability. Here's what I think is really happening..."
When you return, you've transformed a tactical feature request into a strategic opportunity:
"I've analyzed feedback from our top 10 accounts. They're all asking for variations of the same capability. Here's what I think is really happening..."
13/
Suddenly you're not the PM defending their roadmap.
You're the strategic leader identifying market patterns.
That senior PM in the corner? Now they're nodding.
This is how you build strategic capital - the ability to influence outcomes beyond your formal authority.
Suddenly you're not the PM defending their roadmap.
You're the strategic leader identifying market patterns.
That senior PM in the corner? Now they're nodding.
This is how you build strategic capital - the ability to influence outcomes beyond your formal authority.
14/
One last weapon for your arsenal:
When stakeholders say "Just make it happen", respond with "Help me understand what trade-offs you're comfortable with. Here are the three options I see..."
You've redirected push-back into problem-solving.
One last weapon for your arsenal:
When stakeholders say "Just make it happen", respond with "Help me understand what trade-offs you're comfortable with. Here are the three options I see..."
You've redirected push-back into problem-solving.
I hope you've found this thread helpful.
Follow me @nurijanian for more.
Like/Repost the quote below if you can:
Follow me @nurijanian for more.
Like/Repost the quote below if you can:
https://twitter.com/999056610063351808/status/1877354663441477805
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