Thread by @Daractenus

Seeing how the USA now hellbent on emulating their newfound ally of Russia, both at home and abroad, I find myself obliged to repost my dive into Russia's posh cities, just to give your average MAGA a glimpse into the greatness Trump is sure to bring about! Do enjoy!🧵

While a romantic sunset, sunrise or the sun in general is not something you're likely to experience in Norilsk - a city that fields a beautiful bi-annual Biblical plague when the local river runs red with pollution, is one for sure bound to go straight to your heart. And lungs.

Having "Leave" as the most common answer to the "Things to do in..." question, Magnitogorsk's mix of local dishes is widely recommended as an excellent way to encourage hair loss, while a dip in the local river is equally advised to those looking to possibly acquire superpowers.

Famous world-wide for having its acclaimed post-apocalyptic urban scenery depicted in various TV shows, and more recently for having God attempt to whack it with an asteroid, Chelyabinsk is guaranteed to give you the zombie apocalypse experience you always dreamt of.

Sporting several new strains of yet undiscovered hepatitis , Chita's public sanitation system and the city's vast array of culinary delights are guaranteed to take dysentery to a whole new level and make for a truly incurable experience you will not easily forget.

Magadan, sometimes affectionately refereed to by its residents as "the place I dream of leaving", managed to reinvent the concept of urban infrastructure and, not being one to let the lack of cars or residents stand in the way, fields internationally acclaimed traffic jams.

Appetizingly known as "the cold corner of hell" and having a very deep hole in ground as it's main attraction, Murmansk is beloved to all for it's very sober and mild-mannered residents, which are bound to rob of sympathy any traveler that comes their way.

With "My town and destiny" as its motto and often described as a "breath of fresh air" by its 70k proud inhabitants, the city of Asbest, possibly named after the absolutely gigantic open-air asbestos mine sitting right in the middle of it, is guaranteed to take your breath away.

With its 200k inhabitants enjoying a life expectancy of 42 and having "life may be bad but at least it's short" as the unofficial motto, Dzerzhinsk is a must among worldwide chemical weapons enthusiasts, with popular tourist hotspots such as "The White Sea" and the "Black hole".

Sporting an exquisite smog bound to satisfy even the most pretentious of the coal enthusiasts out there, Vorkuta prides itself in a rich history of forced labor, crimes against humanity and a perfectly conserved 1930s vintage sewage system.

With over a million potholes, about as many people trying to get out and enough mud to cover everyone's needs, Omsk operates a one-station metro system which, while allowing for instantaneous arrivals and departures, will rather symbolically take you absolutely nowhere.

With a high GDP by Russian standards and poor by everyone else's, the perpetually flooded city of Syktyvkar is the place where Putin's party once won by campaigning on the - yet undelivered - "a pallet for every puddle" promise, having identified that as the only solution.

Fielding a remarkable number of Buddhist temples and a devoutly homicidal population that make the former rather pointless, the enticingly friendly Kyzyl prides itself in being occasionally safer than your average warzone while having a roughly similar standard of living.

Somewhat unenthusiastically called "home.." by about half a million resigned inhabitants and having survived several petitions to be renamed "Hell", Lipetsk prides itself in being the place where one comes for the mud and stays for the asthma.

Boasting the finest urban aesthetics forced labor can buy and quite possibly the spot where all of Russia's eleven time zones of misery and suffering converge, the city of Kayerkan took it upon itself to be that one place where hell did actually freeze over.