If Ukraine did attack Twitter as Elon Musk said, this is very serious. I invite Ukraine to conduct negotiations with me so we can bring peace to Twitter. Unfortunately, Elon holds no cards and doesn’t own a suit, so we expect Elon will have to give up a lot.
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There are so many ways to show your children just how amazing Jesus is this holiday season, but I thought I'd start with plushies. First, is the amazing breathing Jesus plushie. Think how reassuring it will be for your child to sleep next to a breathing doll all night. amzn.to/4gQ5LLq
Then there's no better way to demonstrate that the fire of Hell nor the cold of space can stop our savior than with this microwavable and coolable Jesus plushie. amzn.to/3ZI3Z8k
If your children want to relive the fun of a whole bunch of different sects and denominations fighting over who has the one true Jesus, might I recommend...amzn.to/4fA66AZ
I think this is a good time to talk about Poe's Law. As many of you know, I'm the author of this bill and I'm up against the pockets of big comedy. I'm not talking about banning comedy, what I want to do is have it properly labeled. Of course, parody and satire are the most important.
Too many people are confused by dangerous unlabeled political satire on the Internet and it's not just on the so-called Dark Comedy Web. One of the most famous examples happened not in this country but in the middle east.
Following 9/11, people mistakenly took pictures from the website Bert is Evil for their Death to America signs. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was for them to hold up pictures of Osama bin Laden oblivious to the fact that he was standing next to a muppet?
I haven’t seen much coverage of last night’s Vice-Presidential debate in the liberal media. This doesn’t really surprise me as JD Vance absolutely destroyed Walz. I don’t see how voters can vote for the Democrats after that debacle despite the biased moderators trying to help the Democrats.
Sorry, I had an intern send this out at 7am instead of 7pm. I’ll resend tonight
People don’t understand why I am blaming my intern about sending out tonight’s debate reaction early. The reason is if it had been sent out at the proper time, it would not have seemed strange that I made those comments. They only seem weird now because the debate hasn’t started yet.
Liberals, I have a friend named Bob. 8 years ago he worked at a video store and did a really good. A lot of people said he was the best video store employee ever, but the owner decided to hire a new guy and let him go. Bob got into some legal trouble and got convicted of over 30 felonies and lost a lawsuit over sexual assault charges, but Bob swears he didn’t do it and I see no reason why he would lie about this. Bob would like his old job at the video store back, should he get a second chance? Vote in the poll and then scroll down to get your mind blown.
Bob is actually Donald Trump. You are so willing to give Bob a second chance, why won’t you give former President Trump the same opportunity. I hope this makes you see how your own biased can cloud your judgment. You were so quick to forgive Bob, why not Trump? Just something to think about.
This morning, I was made aware of another bear mauling incident at the Heritage Village Retirement Community. These bear attacks seem so random and senseless, it can be hard not to lash out in our own grief.
I want to extend my most devout prayers and deepest thoughts to the victims of the bear mauling as well as their friends and loved ones. This was a terrible tragedy that could not have been avoided.
Predictably, some on the l ft tried to bring politics into this time of grieving, demanding that we no longer permit live bears to be part of pet days at retirement homes and calling for other radical measures to address a few tragic but isolated incidents.
I normally don’t break character, but I will this time. People react to my Tweets in a variety of ways. Only one way bothers me—It’s the “of course I know it’s satire, but other less intelligent people won’t” people.
My post 2 days ago had over 12,000 Retweets and as far as I can tell, exactly 1 was from somebody in the MAGA camp. I don’t know if they all know it’s parody or just that they know how stupid they’d sound repeating this stuff
No, I don’t label as parody. That’s a new rule and really doesn’t seem to apply anyway. That makes as much sense as making a certain youth football coaching lesson post on his profile that he doesn’t coach football or own a waterbed.