There are so many ways to show your children just how amazing Jesus is this holiday season, but I thought I'd start with plushies. First, is the amazing breathing Jesus plushie. Think how reassuring it will be for your child to sleep next to a breathing doll all night. amzn.to/4gQ5LLq Then there's no better way to demonstrate that the fire of Hell nor the cold of space can stop our savior than with this microwavable and coolable Jesus plushie. amzn.to/3ZI3Z8k

I think this is a good time to talk about Poe's Law. As many of you know, I'm the author of this bill and I'm up against the pockets of big comedy. I'm not talking about banning comedy, what I want to do is have it properly labeled. Of course, parody and satire are the most important. Too many people are confused by dangerous unlabeled political satire on the Internet and it's not just on the so-called Dark Comedy Web. One of the most famous examples happened not in this country but in the middle east.

I haven’t seen much coverage of last night’s Vice-Presidential debate in the liberal media. This doesn’t really surprise me as JD Vance absolutely destroyed Walz. I don’t see how voters can vote for the Democrats after that debacle despite the biased moderators trying to help the Democrats. Sorry, I had an intern send this out at 7am instead of 7pm. I’ll resend tonight

Liberals, I have a friend named Bob. 8 years ago he worked at a video store and did a really good. A lot of people said he was the best video store employee ever, but the owner decided to hire a new guy and let him go. Bob got into some legal trouble and got convicted of over 30 felonies and lost a lawsuit over sexual assault charges, but Bob swears he didn’t do it and I see no reason why he would lie about this. Bob would like his old job at the video store back, should he get a second chance? Vote in the poll and then scroll down to get your mind blown. Bob is actually Donald Trump. You are so willing to give Bob a second chance, why won’t you give former President Trump the same opportunity. I hope this makes you see how your own biased can cloud your judgment. You were so quick to forgive Bob, why not Trump? Just something to think about.

This morning, I was made aware of another bear mauling incident at the Heritage Village Retirement Community. These bear attacks seem so random and senseless, it can be hard not to lash out in our own grief. I want to extend my most devout prayers and deepest thoughts to the victims of the bear mauling as well as their friends and loved ones. This was a terrible tragedy that could not have been avoided.

I normally don’t break character, but I will this time. People react to my Tweets in a variety of ways. Only one way bothers me—It’s the “of course I know it’s satire, but other less intelligent people won’t” people. My post 2 days ago had over 12,000 Retweets and as far as I can tell, exactly 1 was from somebody in the MAGA camp. I don’t know if they all know it’s parody or just that they know how stupid they’d sound repeating this stuff

BREAKING: Donald Trump was not even allowed to be in the jury deliberations! If they were so sure that he received a fair trial, why did they have the jury meet in secrecy like in a third world country. I've never heard of this happening in the United States before. Was this a DEI jury? Were all the voters Biden supporters? We have no way to know because they tried to hide their identities from us. I am willing to bet there wasn't a single juror with a gold toilet, so how are they Trump's peers exactly?

I know we’re all crushed right now. I talked to @RepMTG and she was nearly in tears when she realized the Confederate flag looked the same upside down and she’d have to use the flag of the Yankee invaders to protest instead. It’s a tough time for your Republican friends and lawmakers. Today we grieve, but as my pal Lindsay Graham is fond of singing “come tomorrow there will be sung.”

This morning, I wanted to extend my most devout prayers and deepest thoughts to the victims of the bear maulings at Heritage Village Retirement Community and their friends and loved ones. This was a terrible and senseless tragedy that could not have been avoided. Predictably, my opponent has tried to bring politics into this time of grieving demanding that we no longer permit live bears to be part of pet days at retirement homes and calling for other radical measures to address a few tragic but isolated incidents.