1/ North Korean "hobbits" are "passionately fond of chocolate, foreign films and pictures of naked women," have trouble telling Russians and Ukrainians apart, and have a habit of stealing and vandalising things, according to a Russian warblogger. ⬇️ 
2/ Using a euphemismistic analogy to avoid Russian censors, "Platon Mamadov" writes:
3/ "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived hobbits. One day they had a big fight among themselves, right up to the civil war. As a result of which the Northern and Southern Hobbitons were formed, divided in half by a carefully guarded border.
4/ "Southern Hobbiton was famous for its gentle young singers, who conquered millions of girls' hearts all over the world from the stage. And they also filmed historical TV series, built excellent ships and drank a lot.
5/ "In Northern Hobbiton, they lived a little poorer, but they always marched in formation and greeted each other in chorus.
One day, the Emperor of Northern Hobbiton sent an expeditionary force to a neighbouring country, to someone else's war.
One day, the Emperor of Northern Hobbiton sent an expeditionary force to a neighbouring country, to someone else's war.
6/ "Old people say that these expeditionary northern hobbits were short. Thin. Wiry. Dressed, equipped and armed according to the standards of the 70s of the last century. In short, quite fairy-tale soldiers.
7/ "It seems that the Emperor paid them a fair amount of money by the standards of Northern Hobbiton. And in years of service, a year was considered two.
They shot very accurately. Not only at soldiers, but also at mechanical birds, of which there were quite a few in that war.
They shot very accurately. Not only at soldiers, but also at mechanical birds, of which there were quite a few in that war.
8/ "They didn't understand the local language, so it wasn't easy to command them. Especially since there was one interpreter for every hundred and fifty. And Google Translate, the bitch, was as dumb as a scumbag and gave out some kind of wild nonsense.
9/ "All people looked the same to the hobbits. Therefore, they often confused their own with strangers. Because of this, there was friendly fire, attempts to capture allies, and other unpleasant incidents.
10/ "The hobbits knew how to fight according to the standards of the previous Great War. Because of which, at first, they suffered considerable losses from mines, grenades falling from the sky, and mechanical birds.
11/ "Over time, they got the hang of it and began to fight quite successfully according to the new rules.
Some hobbits stole everything that was lying around from their allies. From construction tools and empty canisters to provisions.
Some hobbits stole everything that was lying around from their allies. From construction tools and empty canisters to provisions.
12/ "They could spoil something out of mischief. For example, smash all the windows in a battle wagon, climb inside, and rip out all the buttons that fell under the hairy hobbit's hand.
13/ "Hobbits wounded in a fierce battle were sent to hospitals specially designated for this purpose. Closed to outsiders and carefully guarded from overly curious eyes.
14/ "The fallen were sent back to Northern Hobbiton. But not all. Some of them were buried by their own brothers not far from the battle site.
15/ "Hobbits almost never surrendered to the enemy. There were no deserters among them either. Perhaps because they had nowhere to run in the middle of a huge foreign country.
16/ "And the hobbits were passionately fond of chocolate, foreign films and pictures of naked women. Especially films and pictures. In their Northern Hobbiton there seemed to be a shortage of this, but here the little ones got their hands on sweets.
17/ " As soon as they saw a dugout or a cellar with a characteristic plate, they immediately galloped there.
The old men say that the troops had known about the hobbits for a long time. But everyone kept silent. Because of secrecy.
The old men say that the troops had known about the hobbits for a long time. But everyone kept silent. Because of secrecy.
18/ "And then our Emperor thanked them for the exemplary fulfillment of their allied obligations. Then they stopped hiding and began to speak openly.
The old men say that, on the whole, the hobbits showed themselves worthy.
The old men say that, on the whole, the hobbits showed themselves worthy.
19/ "They recaptured some forests and villages, shed their own and others' blood, helped bring Victory closer.
And what if they did steal, and stare at painted girls, well, who among us is without sin?" /end
Source:
t.me/diomeddog/4392
And what if they did steal, and stare at painted girls, well, who among us is without sin?" /end
Source:
t.me/diomeddog/4392
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