1/ North Korean "hobbits" are "passionately fond of chocolate, foreign films and pictures of naked women," have trouble telling Russians and Ukrainians apart, and have a habit of stealing and vandalising things, according to a Russian warblogger. ⬇️
2/ Using a euphemismistic analogy to avoid Russian censors, "Platon Mamadov" writes:
3/ "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived hobbits. One day they had a big fight among themselves, right up to the civil war. As a result of which the Northern and Southern Hobbitons were formed, divided in half by a carefully guarded border.
4/ "Southern Hobbiton was famous for its gentle young singers, who conquered millions of girls' hearts all over the world from the stage. And they also filmed historical TV series, built excellent ships and drank a lot.
5/ "In Northern Hobbiton, they lived a little poorer, but they always marched in formation and greeted each other in chorus.
One day, the Emperor of Northern Hobbiton sent an expeditionary force to a neighbouring country, to someone else's war.
6/ "Old people say that these expeditionary northern hobbits were short. Thin. Wiry. Dressed, equipped and armed according to the standards of the 70s of the last century. In short, quite fairy-tale soldiers.
7/ "It seems that the Emperor paid them a fair amount of money by the standards of Northern Hobbiton. And in years of service, a year was considered two.
They shot very accurately. Not only at soldiers, but also at mechanical birds, of which there were quite a few in that war.
8/ "They didn't understand the local language, so it wasn't easy to command them. Especially since there was one interpreter for every hundred and fifty. And Google Translate, the bitch, was as dumb as a scumbag and gave out some kind of wild nonsense.
9/ "All people looked the same to the hobbits. Therefore, they often confused their own with strangers. Because of this, there was friendly fire, attempts to capture allies, and other unpleasant incidents.
10/ "The hobbits knew how to fight according to the standards of the previous Great War. Because of which, at first, they suffered considerable losses from mines, grenades falling from the sky, and mechanical birds.
11/ "Over time, they got the hang of it and began to fight quite successfully according to the new rules.
Some hobbits stole everything that was lying around from their allies. From construction tools and empty canisters to provisions.
12/ "They could spoil something out of mischief. For example, smash all the windows in a battle wagon, climb inside, and rip out all the buttons that fell under the hairy hobbit's hand.
13/ "Hobbits wounded in a fierce battle were sent to hospitals specially designated for this purpose. Closed to outsiders and carefully guarded from overly curious eyes.
14/ "The fallen were sent back to Northern Hobbiton. But not all. Some of them were buried by their own brothers not far from the battle site.
15/ "Hobbits almost never surrendered to the enemy. There were no deserters among them either. Perhaps because they had nowhere to run in the middle of a huge foreign country.
16/ "And the hobbits were passionately fond of chocolate, foreign films and pictures of naked women. Especially films and pictures. In their Northern Hobbiton there seemed to be a shortage of this, but here the little ones got their hands on sweets.
17/ " As soon as they saw a dugout or a cellar with a characteristic plate, they immediately galloped there.
The old men say that the troops had known about the hobbits for a long time. But everyone kept silent. Because of secrecy.
18/ "And then our Emperor thanked them for the exemplary fulfillment of their allied obligations. Then they stopped hiding and began to speak openly.
The old men say that, on the whole, the hobbits showed themselves worthy.
19/ "They recaptured some forests and villages, shed their own and others' blood, helped bring Victory closer.
And what if they did steal, and stare at painted girls, well, who among us is without sin?" /end
1/ The huge reported scale of corruption in the Russian military wouldn't be possible without the active support and involvement of senior officers. An appeal to Putin from one Russian soldier highlights how even generals are likely to be profiting from the war in Ukraine. ⬇️
2/ One of the most important principles of modern Russian society is the concept of 'krysha', literally meaning 'roof' – a term borrowed from the Russian mafia to refer to protection from powerful individuals to enable criminal immunity for allies. It also works in the military.
3/ A Russian soldier has recorded an appeal to Putin describing the corruption he saw in the 139th Separate Assault Battalion, a Transbaikalia-based unit which has fought in the Donbas in Ukraine. He had previously been with the 19th Regiment of the 29th Combined Arms Army.
1/ Russians in pre-trial detention – not even having been convicted of a crime – say they are being tortured and forced to choose between sexual assault and signing a military contract. At the front, they were told they were animals and were wiped out in their first assault. ⬇️
2/ In September 2024, the Russian State Duma adopted a new law allowing the Ministry of Defence to recruit from the 60,000-strong population of pre-trial detainees. As many as 40% were expected to sign up. This has expanded the pool from which the Russian military can recruit.
3/ Tens of thousands of convicts were recruited from 2022 onwards under the auspices of the Wagner Group and later, after Wagner was dismantled, directly by the Russian Ministry of Defence. However, perhaps predictably, detainees say they are being forced to sign up.
1/ North Korean soldiers fighting against Ukraine in Russia are reportedly causing problems for the local people, including drunkenness, thefts and attempted rapes. It's being blamed on the unusual degree of freedom that they're experiencing fighting for Russia. ⬇️
2/ A message from a private chat channel for Tuvan units says: "The cultural and language barrier makes our imaginary "friends and comrades" from the DPRK absolutely deny military brotherhood, coherence and army discipline."
3/ "15 cases of drunkenness in the past month, 4 fights, 2 attempts to rape civilians and 7 thefts. There are rumors in the unit that it is not only scary to turn your back, you don't even want to give them weapons.
1/ Nearly two years after Yevgeny Prigozhin died, an account has been published of a tense meeting with Vladimir Putin in which the Wagner Group leader rejected subordination to the Russian Ministry of Defence. "Zhenya, you're fucking nuts", Putin is said to have told him. ⬇️
2/ The Russian journalist and warblogger Anastasia Kashevarova, who was an outspoken supporter of the Wagner Group and is writing a book on its rise and fall, has described what happened when Putin and Prigozhin met on 29 June, five days after the Wagner rebellion was called off.
3/ According to Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov, a three-hour gathering of 35 people including Putin and Prigozhin met at the Kremlin. The Wagnerites assured Putin that they would continue to fight for him in Ukraine.
1/ Officers in a Russian rifle regiment are said to be labelling men as deserters to avoid paying them, beating them, denying medical care, forcing female medics into sex, and sending men into assaults without equipment while telling them to scavenge it on the battlefield. ⬇️
2/ The wives, mothers and sisters of men serving with the Russian 54th Motorised Rifle Regiment have published an 'appeal to the Tsar' complaining that their "husbands, sons and fathers are subjected to illegal actions by inhuman beings endowed with power," i.e. army commanders.
3/ One of the mothers says that in the unit, soldiers are illegally labelled as deserters – even when they are still serving – to deprive them and their families of wages and compensation. They are also denied treatment when they are wounded.
1/ A veterans' certificate has become one of the most sought-after documents in Russia due to the benefits it brings. Not surprisingly, this is attracting legions of imposters and 'dead souls', a classic Russian scam dating back at least 200 years. ⬇️
2/ Alexander Borodai, a United Russia deputy in the State Duma, has highlighted how the Russian government's announcement of preferential treatment and generous benefits for Ukraine war veterans is being exploited.
3/ He says: "Since significant preferences have been announced for veterans of the special military operation ... then I assure you that we will now have a huge number of “fake” veterans of the Special Military Operation, simply a gigantic number."