A recent study highlighted what everyone already knows, deep down.
Divorce places a generational curse on its children. The effects last for years, and unless someone stops the bleeding, they are passed down to the grandchildren.
Divorce is bad even for adult children.
Household income plummets by 50% and never fully recovers, even after a decade.
Kids who experience a divorce at a younger age are more adversely affected, surprising no one.
Divorce raises the overall child mortality and teen pregnancy rate.
- Mortality increases by 35 to 55 percent after a divorce
- Teen births increase 63 percent above pre-divorce levels
But hey, I'm sure your divorce was "for the best."
The effects of divorce can last for decades. Many children never fully recover as each special event, holiday, or celebration reminds the child of loss.
It makes everything more complicated than it has to be.
Respect your vows.
Work it out.
Do not forsake the wife of your youth.
Do not intentionally handicap your children.
The point of marriage is not to make you happy. It is an ancient institution more important than your emotions, and you disrespect it at your peril.
What does every culture in the history of the world have in common?
None of them treat men and women equally. All of them have different roles for men and women.
ALL of them.
Here are the 4 patterns they all have in common:
1. Sexual division of labor.
Every culture divides tasks between men and women. These tasks can change from culture to culture (though there is remarkable consistency), but the division is always there.
The types of tasks men perform across cultures are similar. Same for women.
2. Complementary roles in the communal and domestic spheres.
Every culture, past and present, assigns men the primary responsibility for the larger community (government and larger groups) and women the primary responsibility for domestic affairs and the rearing of children.
Peter Jackson committed many sins against Tolkien. None worse than his butchery of Aragorn.
The books show us a KING who knows exactly who he is.
The films gave us a whimpering man questioning his birthright.
One commands respect. The other begs for validation. (thread) 🧵
Book Aragorn has no character arc.
This was intentional.
From the moment we meet Strider at the Prancing Pony to his coronation, he knows who he is.
The story gradually reveals his greatness to others, not to himself. Aragorn is a constant anchor for other characters to grasp.
When confronting the Riders of Rohan, book Aragorn declares: "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir of Isildur, Elendil's son of Gondor. Here is the Sword that was Broken and is forged again!"
The riders bow in awe.
The film? A tired wanderer with nothing special to offer.
Join the gym. Plan a night with friends. Invite people over. Your wife is not your mom. If you always ask permission, you're asking her to be a husband.
Being considerate is not the same as asking permission.
2. Overshare
Don't gossip like a woman to your wife.
Don't vomit out your feelings at every opportunity.
Don't burden her with every little anxiety and fear. Don't make a habit of crying at the drop of a hat.
Ask for counsel. Ask for help. Don't ask for an emotional crutch.
3. Never make any decisions.
"I don't know. What do you want to do?"
Be decisive. Making the wrong decision is better than making no decision.
At least if you make the wrong one, you can correct it and try again.
11 truths every man must hear before he becomes a father.
1. You will let your children down.
You are not perfect. You will never "do the best you can."
It's not ok that you let them down, but it's inevitable. Repent, apologize, and do better. An example every child needs.
2. Your words are more powerful than you realize.
Your words have the power of life and death. They will live in your children's bones for their entire lives. How you speak to them will be how they speak to themselves.
Keep your promises. Control your temper. Measure each word.
3. Being a father is more amazing than you can possibly imagine.
It is a gift and a privilege and you can't understand it until you become one. Once you hold that baby, you will be changed forever.
Every child is like having a faucet of joy. Just turn it on whenever you want.
Disney's The Little Mermaid is a story about a father who is punished until he learns to give his spoiled, naive 16-year-old daughter everything she wants.
But the actual fairy tale is more interesting.
In the Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale, the youngest mermaid still has a desire to live a human life on the earth. What stirs this desire, however, are tales of church spires, sunsets, green hills, and more.
She does see a handsome prince, but her longing goes beyond infatuation.
What the mermaid really desires to an immortal soul that will live "forever, which goes on living after the body has become dust."
She wants to give up her 300 years of bliss for something greater. Eternal life.