Thread by @nurijanian

Your technical skills got you the PM role.

But your stakeholder skills will make or break you.

I lost multiple battles as a PM by being "right" but ineffective.

Here's what I’d do differently now:

1/ First, understand why smart people push back against good data:

• They have context you don't
• They're optimizing for different goals
• They see risks you haven't considered
• They have pressure from their stakeholders
• Past experiences are coloring their judgment

2/ The immediate urge is to:

- Gather more data
- Build stronger arguments
- Rally support

Stop.

Your goal isn't to win the argument.
It's to make the best decision for the product AND maintain relationships.

3/ Start with: "Help me understand..."

Ask about:
• Their specific concerns
• Past experiences informing their view
• Constraints they're working under
• What success looks like for them
• Their timeline expectations

Listen. Take notes. Show you care.

4/ Document everything:

• Initial recommendation
• Data supporting it
• Stakeholder concerns
• Alternative approaches
• Final decision
• Expected outcomes
• Review timeline

I keep these in a simple decision log

5/ For product leaders:
Your PMs need explicit permission to disagree professionally.

Create space in meetings for:
• Surfacing concerns
• Exploring alternatives
• Setting clear success metrics
• Scheduling decision reviews

Coach them on framing, not just data.

6/ The "Disagree and Commit" framework:

"I want to be clear about my concerns, but I'm ready to commit to this direction. Can we agree on:

• What success looks like?
• When we'll review results?
• How we'll measure impact?
• What would trigger a course correction?"

7/ Common junior PM objections:

"they're wrong!"
→ 'wrong' can work
→ 'right' can fail
→ focus on reducing risk

"my reputation!"
→ relationships > being right
→ overall record matters more

8/ For product leaders:

Help your PMs understand that influence is built through:

• Showing you understand others' constraints
• Being willing to test your assumptions
• Supporting decisions you disagree with
• Following up with data, not "I told you so"

9/ Build review cycles into every major decision:

30 days: Early signals
60 days: Initial results
90 days: Full impact review

Document outcomes objectively. Include:
• What worked
• What didn't
• Unexpected effects
• Key learnings

10/ The leverage comes from how you use this history:

"Last time we faced a similar decision, we saw X result. Here's what we learned..."

This approach:
• Shows patterns
• Builds credibility
• Focuses on learning
• Avoids blame

11/ For product leaders:
Create regular forums for:

• Reviewing decision outcomes
• Sharing learnings
• Adjusting processes
• Building institutional knowledge

Make it about improvement, not judgment.

12/ When to push back harder:

• Safety issues
• Legal/ethical concerns
• Irreversible decisions
• Core value violations

Otherwise, trust the process. Build influence over time.

13/ Stakeholder management prompts that help:

• Meeting prep frameworks
• Decision log templates
• Learning capture guides

I'm building a collection of AI prompts for exactly this - let me know if you'd like to try them.

prodmgmt.world/products/ai-pr…

I hope you've found this thread helpful.

Follow me @nurijanian for more.

Like/Repost the quote below if you can:

https://twitter.com/999056610063351808/status/1938976185696035105