Inspired by @MattPPea and just for a bit of fun, I asked ChatGPT a similar question about vatnik rules. It produced these responses. Here's a thread:
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https://twitter.com/MattPPea/status/1939005557676925087
Rule #1:
“Whatever a vatnik accuses others of, they are doing themselves.”
Classic projection. Nazis? Genocide? Censorship? Look in the mirror.
“Whatever a vatnik accuses others of, they are doing themselves.”
Classic projection. Nazis? Genocide? Censorship? Look in the mirror.
Rule #2:
“When Russia commits a war crime, accuse Ukraine of doing it first.”
A preemptive propaganda move. Bomb a hospital? Accuse Ukraine of doing it. Stage a massacre? Blame the victims.
(See: Bucha, Mariupol maternity hospital, Kakhovka Dam)
“When Russia commits a war crime, accuse Ukraine of doing it first.”
A preemptive propaganda move. Bomb a hospital? Accuse Ukraine of doing it. Stage a massacre? Blame the victims.
(See: Bucha, Mariupol maternity hospital, Kakhovka Dam)
Rule #3:
“Every Russian military failure is actually part of a clever plan.”
Snake Island? A feint. Kherson retreat? Strategic regrouping. Moskva sinking? Fire safety drill.
“Every Russian military failure is actually part of a clever plan.”
Snake Island? A feint. Kherson retreat? Strategic regrouping. Moskva sinking? Fire safety drill.
Rule #4:
“Maps are always lying unless they show Russia winning.”
Losses are “regroupings,” gains are “liberations,” and anything else is “fake NATO propaganda.”
“Maps are always lying unless they show Russia winning.”
Losses are “regroupings,” gains are “liberations,” and anything else is “fake NATO propaganda.”
Rule #5:
“Any Ukrainian success is due to NATO/mercenaries/satanism.”
Ukraine can’t possibly win on merit. So victories are blamed on CIA plots, foreign fighters, or demonic rituals.
“Any Ukrainian success is due to NATO/mercenaries/satanism.”
Ukraine can’t possibly win on merit. So victories are blamed on CIA plots, foreign fighters, or demonic rituals.
Rule #6:
“Russia is simultaneously fighting NATO and losing to Ukraine.”
Mental gymnastics: Russia is heroically resisting the entire West, but definitely not losing to Ukraine.
“Russia is simultaneously fighting NATO and losing to Ukraine.”
Mental gymnastics: Russia is heroically resisting the entire West, but definitely not losing to Ukraine.
Rule #7:
“All opposition to Russia is either Russophobia or fascism.”
Criticise Russia? You're a Nazi or a paid Western agent. There is no middle ground.
“All opposition to Russia is either Russophobia or fascism.”
Criticise Russia? You're a Nazi or a paid Western agent. There is no middle ground.
Rule #8:
“Russia is always winning, no matter what the facts say.”
Lost a city? It wasn’t important. Got pushed back 100 km? The lines were overextended.
(Also known as: Copium Command Doctrine)
“Russia is always winning, no matter what the facts say.”
Lost a city? It wasn’t important. Got pushed back 100 km? The lines were overextended.
(Also known as: Copium Command Doctrine)
Rule #9:
“Every Ukrainian civilian is secretly a Nazi combatant.”
That’s how they justify war crimes—targeting civilians under the excuse that “they’re all Nazis anyway.”
“Every Ukrainian civilian is secretly a Nazi combatant.”
That’s how they justify war crimes—targeting civilians under the excuse that “they’re all Nazis anyway.”
Rule #10:
“Reality is whatever the Kremlin says today—even if it contradicts yesterday.”
Consistency isn’t required. Vatnik memory resets every morning with the new party line.
“Reality is whatever the Kremlin says today—even if it contradicts yesterday.”
Consistency isn’t required. Vatnik memory resets every morning with the new party line.
Bonus Rule (NAFO Core Doctrine):
“Don’t argue with vatniks—mock them.”
You can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. But you can use memes, facts, and laughter to strip their narrative of power.
“Don’t argue with vatniks—mock them.”
You can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. But you can use memes, facts, and laughter to strip their narrative of power.
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