Thread by @taylorburrowes

Here’s what most people get wrong about vetting & why you’re still stuck in dating 👇

Most people assume vetting is about getting what they desire.

“My Ideal Partner”

That may be the byproduct, but that’s not what “vetting” means.

Let me explain 👇

Yes—part of vetting is assessing whether someone aligns with your values, needs, limitations and vision.

But vetting isn’t about locking in a desired outcome.

It’s about clarifying alignment or misalignment—not securing the fantasy.

So you’re not just vetting just to get what you want.

First you vet yourself to determine if what you want is truly right for you.

Then you practice vetting things in and vetting things consciously.

Vetting is…

“the ongoing process of intentionally getting to know someone and seeing how you fit (or don’t) in the dynamic.”

It’s how you learn who’s right for you and who’s not.

And when you realize something isn’t aligned?

Vetting someone out is still successful vetting.

You didn’t “fail.” You clarified.

If you’re not vetting someone out, you might be unconsciously vetting them in (limbo).

Staying open “just in case”?
Avoiding clarity?
Ignoring red flags?

That’s not going with the flow. That’s passive inclusion.

This is where most people go terribly wrong:

They assume you only “vet” the people you’re attracted to. But vetting doesn’t start with desire.

It starts with discernment.
From the very first contact (even from afar like seeing their photo online).

Think of it like shopping for a new wardrobe:

🛒 You scroll 100 items.
❤️ You “like” a few.
📦 Some make it to your cart.
🚫 Some get returned.
✅ A few fit perfectly.

Everything you engaged with (even momentarily) was part of the vetting process.

So yes—you need to always be vetting.

Instead of being wishy washy when you’re unsure.
Even when you’re not attracted. Even when you’re disengaged.

Because not being intentional isn’t an option once you’re vetting.

Avoiding clarity, staying open “just in case,” ignoring your gut…

That’s not vetting.

That’s coasting. Sliding. Defaulting to emotional convenience. It’s passive inclusion. Limbo. Cowardice.

And it leads to misalignment, wasted time and unnecessary pain.

Here’s the paradigm shift:

Vetting is not the outcome.
It’s the process, it’s a practice.

It’s how you confirm or disconfirm compatibility in real time to see if it’s true, good and aligned—through truth, curiosity and integrity.

You vet to protect your authenticity and honor your vision.

Not just to secure the outcome you hoped for.

This is what I teach inside the Vetting System™

How to become the vetting tool yourself. So you’re never again stuck in limbo, confusion, or wishful thinking.

Because aligned love comes through clarity, not just chemistry or compatibility.
calendly.com/drtaylorburrow…