How to Avoid Marrying The Wrong Person 🧵

…because choosing a life partner is the most important decision you’ll ever make 1) Know Yourself First:

Understand your triggers, values, needs, goals & what you truly seek in a relationship. Self-awareness is key.

2) Observe Actions Over Words:

People often show who they are through actions, not what they claim. Look for consistency & congruence.

4 Relationship Must Haves That are Non-Negotiable Before Dating: ➊ Emotional Health

This involves emotional resilience in the face of stress, conflict & negative emotions.

It’s the ability to experience & express yourself effectively through a wide spectrum of emotions and somatic feeling.

This includes: emotional availability, emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, emotional stability, emotional regulation & vulnerability.

These skills create the foundation for emotional connection and emotional intimacy in romantic relationships.

There’s a masculine and feminine way to parent. The goal is to have polarized, integrated parenting. Not emasculated fathers and masculinized mothers. twitter.com/i/web/status/1… Each parent needs to do both masculine & feminine parenting, when appropriate.

(based on polyvagal theory)

A lot of mothers will get hardened by a de-polarized parenting system & fathers become passive & aloof. Resentment & disrespect will build. Intimacy will erode.

15 Qualities that make a high value woman, wife material 💍 1.Self awareness

A healthy, high value woman you want to marry understands & regulates her emotions, thoughts & behaviors as well as her own identity.

She’s able to perceive her own strengths & weaknesses.

She seeks to heal, learn & grow into a better version of herself.

How to tell if they’re “the one” you want to commit to? ⬇️ "The One" you want to commit to, get vulnerable with (the one you take a leap of faith on) is the one who regulates your nervous system. NOT the one who destabilizes you!

15 Qualities that make a high value man husband material

A thread🧵 1. He provides safety & security

He makes you feel safe physically, emotionally & financially. You feel anchored and protected; sheltered from the storms of life.

twitter.com/i/spaces/1MnGn… At first she just got inspired by my tweet and made it her own (not bothered by that) but then she decided to lazy copy it as her own on Instagram. It’s just not necessary, quote someone and credit them when you post their content. @elegantfeminine. Just checked & she’s gone now.

15 Ideal Relationship Tips to attract, connect with and build a LIFELONG BOND with an ideal partner ⬇️ # 1 ​Focus on YOURSELF first: what are your needs, values, boundaries, principles, goals purpose, etc?

#2 Don’t do things while single that you’d be ASHAMED of sharing w/ your future spouse!

#3 Get off dating apps & STOP dating casually (social media are a better vetting tool)

13 Red flags in MEN‼️

1. He won’t take charge, passive, indecisive + insecure (poor leadership)

2. He’s too agreeable, puts you on a pedestal, seeks your approval (Nice Guy)

3. He lack’s emotional intelligence, detached, can’t control emotions, poor communicator (immature) 4. He lacks ambition, drive, a mission/purpose (meaning/leadership)

5. He lacks discipline, boundaries, standards, parties too much, lacks healthy interests (Fun Guy)

6. He’s lazy, useless or dependent on you (Manchild)

13 Red flags to look for in women 🧵

1. Entitled. Highly individualistic, avoids commitment, disloyal.

2. Pushy, controlling, plays victim, runs hot + cold

3. Poor discipline with: finances, health, fitness, grooming

4. Dirty + disorganized residence 5. “Dates around” to avoid being alone/bored

6. Lacks family values, integrity, self respect with no healthy role models

7. Lacks accountability/humility, shifts blame or makes excuses. Can’t admit to being wrong, apologize, self correct.

11 fundamental questions to answer before marriage:

1. What’s their stress language?

How do they act when they’re overwhelmed?

2. How have they applied the lessons they learned from their previous mistakes?

Can I forgive them for all their previous mistakes without a trial? 3. Do we agree on important things + contrast comfortably elsewhere?

e.g. Life vision, core values/life principles, health, relationship standards, family planning.

4. Are they globally healthy or on track to be by their own merits?

Mentally, physically, financially, etc.

What is VETTING?

It teaches you to not get attached emotionally or escalate to sex prematurely + not to force an outcome because of “feelings.”

You VET for alignment + what meets your needs, complements your aspirations + connects with you on a deep, conscious level.

1 of 4 It allows you to clarify: who brings the best out of me + vice versa?

You’ll start to see everything as vetting when it’s internalized.

You’re constantly doing it + seeking alignment with healthy connections to elevate your quality of life.

You’re refining yourself.

2 of 4

May I be vulnerable with you?

I have an observation about myself that I think would be beneficial to share for others that may have a similar experience. My social energy is so focused on helping people 24/7 that it’s very hard for me to talk to people without being a helper.

I have good friends, but we don’t talk much. I talk to Dennis + that’s fulfilling for “me.”

Every time I talk to my friends it shifts into me helping.

👇🏽

Embrace your feminine + masculine energy ladies and gentlemen.

🤴🏼Men need an effective quota of feminine traits to be healthy + integrated.

👸🏼Women need an effective quota of masculine traits to be healthy + integrated.

Read on… And vice versa ☯️ Meaning some men need more masculine and some women need more feminine. They feel more comfortable in their complementary energy.

Trying to banish either energy internally results in unhealthy relationships + unhealthy identity (self) development.

Do you know your authentic self?

Think of our core, true self as our vibrations. We can turn the volume up or down and we can change the treble and bass etc as we see fit.

We don’t have to turn ourselves all the way up all the time.

And we get to adjust it as needed. This doesn’t make us disingenuous or fake, it makes us proactive and responsive.

Social adaptiveness is important for our protection, survival & overall quality of life.

The healthier we become the more clarity we have in our vibrations.

Women’s team USA beach volleyball (Alix/Ross) is playing CUBA Sunday in the first playoff match in #Tokyo2020

I played CUBA in 2017 #NORCECA quarterfinals in Cayman. They’re strong, but I’m rooting for @USAVBeach

Let’s go 🇺🇸 Still gives me chills of pride to know I got a chance to play at this level. Finished 8th in the quarterfinals that tournament… the best finish for my country!

Everyone wants to know…

Should women stay virgins for marriage? 100s of women speak out! via @YouTube 100 views in 3 hours! 💥

13 Relationship Red Pills:

1. Unhealthy people are everywhere. If you put lust & emotional attachment over establishing a healthy, shared lifestyle you’ll likely perish.

2. You’re not looking to be completed, you’re looking to be complemented with a compatible partner.

Cont… 3. You should both be better together than apart but fully capable of being alone successfully.

4. You don’t look for some idea of perfection out there in the opposite sex.

You become happy, healthy & stable on your own to discover who’s perfect for you as you grow.

Cont…