1. TRE is very straightforward and many people get impressive results within a few minutes of practice
2. Peter Levine's book In An Unspoken Voice is the best explanation I've read for why inducing automatic physical tremors can create enormous relief from trauma, without having to address any narrative content
tldr: it's just how mammals work
3. many drugs can be an effective TRE catalyst. eg mdma creates jaw tension -> you can take that as an invitation to tremble around mouth, jaw, throat, forehead. psilocybin, ketamine and others also v effective in switching off the inhibitions against trembling
4. comprehensive trauma healing prob involves many layers eg
- repatterning muscle tension (including vasomuscular latches)
- feeling & expressing emotion with words a 5 year old can understand
- repatterning narratives (insights like "my dad does actually loves me!")
- also there's a layer of subtler energies I don't know how to describe but that seems important too (vibes)
5. "Learning how to sit still" trauma is enormously underdiscussed. many kids, especially boys, naturally want to be in constant motion. movement is essential for emoting, empathising, self regulating etc. school explicitly trains you to sit still. hence: disembodied nerds
TRE is a direct access into Sit Still trauma
as a kid I learned I could regulate my social anxiety by jiggling my legs. was punished. learned to stop that
when I started TRE I spent 5 solid days "catching up" on all the times my legs wanted to jiggle but had been inhibited
6. ime it's easy to overdose on TRE. after my 5-day binge I had months of depression. felt like I had no soul, like God had forsaken me
if you're repatterning your defense mechanisms and safety strategies: take it in measured steps if you don't want to make a mess
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
I've been scratching my head for a week after someone asked 'what became obvious for you after taking psychedelics?' I dunno man it seems self evident that the more primitive pre linguistic processes of consciousness make more immediate and honest contact with reality and have much higher bandwidth than any symbol system and this gap between trustworthy reality and untrustworthy language is one of the most important dialectics shaping the human experience like impressionistic ambiguous vibes rule everything around me from marriage to the economy to world peace like we keep looking for Letters we can put our faith in but all we have is Spirit
which for example is why I don't feel existentially threatened by LLMs, I think the reality > language > reality codec is lossy in extremely consequential ways
another example: a lot of emotional difficulties / trauma gets stuck in place because yr trying to push a nonlinguistic experience through a linguistic processor
the last few months I’ve been working with @VividVoid_, training habitual people-pleasers to be more confrontational. it’s been so fascinating to learn the logic of conflict-avoidant people and to find strategies that support them to stand up for themselves
our Fight Wise program is a series of role-play exercises where people practice navigating heated interpersonal scenarios with skill. I observed one particular scene that I want to describe here in detail because it illustrates so much:
Mark is rehearsing a difficult conversation he needs to have with his partner (roleplayed by Jess). he needs to let her know that something about their relationship needs to change. we want him to find that confidence where it feels natural for him to advocate for himself and communicate directly about his needs, boundaries and requests
but all it took to throw him off his game was for Jess to change her body language slightly to show “I’m not receptive to you”. some part of Mark picks up on those nonverbal signals and completely loses track of himself. the confidence evaporates, the clarity is replaced by hedging and compromise
Mark is operating on a logic something like “if I’m always accomodating, we can find a way to get along”. this strategy is certainly effective for maintaining a relationship (either at work or at home), but it comes with psychic damage, it undermines his self-respect, and generates resentment that comes out sideways, as passive aggression or pettiness
I was shocked to see how much power Mark gave to Jess. all she had to do was squint her eyes slightly and scrunch up her forehead and that was enough for him to concede the fight before it had even really started
in the course we go thru repeated cycles of roleplay + reflection:
- before you go into a confrontation: settle yourself & clarify what’s most important for you to communicate
- during: actively regulate your nervous system so you can communicate as directly as possible: “This is what I observed. This is why I can’t accept it. Would you be willing to do XYZ instead?”
- after: settle yourself & reflect on what happened, so you can 1) understand how you habitually respond in moments of interpersonal stress, and 2) get the “update”: what do you want to remember, next time you’re in this situation?
I think we saw the biggest change in Mark when he learned to keep his awareness on himself, not to get lost in his mental modelling and anxious anticipation of what the other person is thinking and feeling, but maintaining some curiosity about his own body, and mindfully maintaining deep breath, neutral voice, straight back, relaxed shoulders. that’s the somatic foundation for straightforward communication
training these new habits of awareness, posture, and nervous system regulation opened up the space where he could practice a new repertoire and develop a new logic in relationships. he’s learning to be loyal to himself in the high-stakes moments, rather than abandoning himself
if you wanna join us in the dojo and practice standing your ground and advocating for yourself, we’re running one more cohort this year, starting October 22nd. sign-up below
@VividVoid_ Fight Wise: an online course to practice your interpersonal courage, starting October 22nd
speaking as a specialist in non hierarchical organising, it is very confusing to discover in me a growing respect for hierarchy and understanding of the role it plays in nearly all groups of people
groups are tricky because we lack shared context, everyone comes from a different place, grew up with different norms and cultural expectations
but one thing nearly everyone has in common: you were probably raised in a household with 1 or 2 adults and a few kids
no matter how enlightened or progressive your family, there's inevitably an enormous power difference between adults and children
this is the conditioning that basically everyone shows up with when they enter any collaboration
I was called in to mediate a conflict today, made me think how crucial & high-leverge this skill is. I wonder how many people would know how to do it?
I’m not a v sophisticated mediator but I’ll share my mental model here in case it is useful...
when two parties have escalating tension, when a lack of trust or shared understanding means that they’re exceeding their relationship’s capacity for divergence, thats the time to bring in a 3rd party mediator
as a mediator my job is to establish trust with Person A & Person B, give both of them the experience of being seen/heard/respected
they might have animosity between each other but if they can each trust me I can help them rebuild trust in their relationship
I drew this diagram to illustrate a lot of related insights about agency, hosting, community-building, collaborative leadership & social change
come with me now, the thread is long and full of bangers…
you can use this map to self-evaluate your level of agency: where are you currently? what group experiences do you feel comfortable to host? what feels very doable? what would feel like a tolerable stretch? what would be overwhelming even to attempt?
up and to the right = more agency, more capacity for collaborative leadership
this comes with more responsibility, more ability to mobilise resources, more commitment, more risk, more impact
ok not to sound dramatic but I used to be kinda dumb and now I'm smarter than like 80% of people and I know when & how it happened & I think the same method would work for most people
for me it happened during the Occupy Movement. specifically, participating in lengthy deliberation, with skin in the game, for days on end
prior to the deliberative process, my ideas were just what my friends thought. ,y head was full of slogans. I had no interest in truth, I just believed things that seemed good to believe. I calibrated my inner compass from the people I looked up to and that was enough