I think I figured out how to sum up the (unsupported) autistic experience into a single pipeline...
Constant and unrelenting autistic triggers → constant micro-traumas → masking → internalized autism → distinct anxiety + autistic burnout → harmful coping strategies + physical/mental health issues
In other words...
1. Constant and unrelenting autistic triggers cause us constant micro-traumas... many caused by the negative reactions others have to us being triggered or to our autistic needs in general→
1. Constant and unrelenting autistic triggers cause us constant micro-traumas... many caused by the negative reactions others have to us being triggered or to our autistic needs in general→
2. We mask the autistic traits we believe led to the negative reactions we received→
3. We internalize our needs to minimize the impact they have on others to reduce the likelihood of experiencing those negative reactions again→
3. We internalize our needs to minimize the impact they have on others to reduce the likelihood of experiencing those negative reactions again→
4. This causes us extreme autistic (distinct) anxiety, that compounds over time (for many of us, decades) becoming unrelenting & intolerable→
5. We turn to harmful, even dangerous, coping strategies (like substance use) to deal with the anxiety and now years of built up cPTSD→
5. We turn to harmful, even dangerous, coping strategies (like substance use) to deal with the anxiety and now years of built up cPTSD→
6. Our hearts and bodies slowly wear out under the constant distress and we end up with physical issues... some life threatening (in my case, a stress induced heart event at 34)→
7. We end up with additional and compounded mental health issues... some of us becoming so desperate that s**cide feels like the only viable solution.
To be clear...this is the pipeline many autistic people experience **when our needs aren't met.**
This post is not meant to be alarmist. It's meant to point out that when we ask for support, we're not just asking for things we want... we're pleading for things we NEED.
This post is not meant to be alarmist. It's meant to point out that when we ask for support, we're not just asking for things we want... we're pleading for things we NEED.
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