A lot of people get parenting autistic children wrong. And I'm going to explain how in the simplest of terms.

They think autistic kids need to learn how to tolerate things they find intolerable, because... "that's life." (1) This could not be more wrong.

What autistic kids need to learn is how to tell the difference between something that can be changed and something that can't. (2)

I really dislike the whole "autism is a superpower" framing because it completely ignores the disabling aspects of it, but also because it feels like when people say that they're humoring us rather than celebrating us. I think most autistic people who have special interests are legitimately impressive in what they know and can do with that knowledge.

There are two areas of emerging research that change EVERYTHING about autism awareness... and I wish more people were talking about them...

1. A study found evidence to suggest that "mild" stress can trigger PTSD like symptoms in autistic brains (There's lots of nuance to the research that you can find in the study, I'll link to it below)

2. Another study found that autistic people experience a type of anxiety that doesn't fit any of the existing anxiety disorders currently included in the DSM (link below as well)

7 signs you might have distinct anxiety... the type of anxiety specific to autism that can’t be explained by any of the existing anxiety disorders currently outlined in the DSM.

1. If you get anxiety when you aren't able to talk about your special interests... For me, this happens anytime I'm bursting to infodump on my husband but also know he'd be completely overwhelmed by it (especially after he's had a mentally draining day).

So I have to make a concerted effort to not infodump on him, but inside I'm EXPLODING with anxiety.

3 reasons autistic people struggle with open-ended questions

Reason #1

About half of autistic people have alexithymia... which is the inability to verbally express emotions or feelings. So, "How was your day" can be a tough question for an autistic person to answer because they might not actually KNOW how they felt about it.

What people think ADHD is...

- Can't focus
- Physically hyperactive
- Talks too much
- Annoying (they won't say it, but they sure think it)

What ADHD actually is... A person who...

- Often struggles with organizing tasks, managing time, keeping track of belongings, and meeting deadlines

- Often avoids tasks that require sustained mental effort

- Often loses things necessary for completing important tasks

Today is exactly 1 year since I stopped drinking alcohol. Which is pretty huge. So in honor of this milestone...

I'm going to share the 3 reasons I used to drink as an autistic person... the reason I chose to stop... and why I'll never drink again.

Here goes... 1. The main reason I used to drink was to quiet my mind.

As an autistic person, my brain feels like it's constantly "on." Alcohol would slow it down, and I would get a break from my own thoughts.

(The brain feeling like it's always "on" is a common autistic experience)

7 reasons being autistic is so. freaking. exhausting.

1. We're in constant sensory overload

2. We're constantly fighting against our executive dysfunction to do basic necessary life tasks 3. Our brains are always on... we literally never get a break (research has found that our brains generate ~42% more information at rest than nonautistic brains... I talked more about this in my last post)

Did you know that autistic brains generate ~42% more information at rest than nonautistic brains, according to research? (link below)

This explains SO. MUCH. of the autistic experience...

Our brains are constantly in motion. (1) Think about that. Even when we're not doing anything, our brains are hyperactively thinking about things.

We don't get a break.

I suspect this has something to do with why we are often seen as self-involved. (2)

Autism is a disability.

Saying it isn't and emphatically demanding that it be called a "different ability" instead is harmful. (1) It's not the same as saying "I don't feel disabled by my autism" or "my autism isn't disabling to me, it's just a different ability."

And I'm going to explain why. (2)

11 misconceptions about autism that just won't go away... even though they're wrong, harmful, or have been debunked a thousand times. (Part 2)

A thread. 5 that I see on social media almost every day...

- Everyone's a little autistic

- Everyone wants to be autistic now because it's trendy

14 rapid-fire misconceptions about autism that just won't go away... even though they're wrong, harmful, or have been debunked a thousand times.

A thread. Autistic people...

1. Can't make eye contact

2. Are super awkward / would stand out in any crowd

3. Are rude in conversation

4. Can't be social or extroverted

My post about autism and cPTSD from yesterday seems to have caused a bit of confusion, so here are a few points of clarification.

cPTSD is complex trauma that results from many, repeated traumatic experiences over time. These experiences can be big, but are often (seemingly) small.

The main thing is that they happen consistently, which causes the trauma to compound (and increase) over time.

7 internal autistic experiences I wish more people understood...

(These are not universal, but extremely common)

1. We rarely meet people with the same interests and struggle to find things to talk about with them 2. We don't know what's considered socially "appropriate" and when we try to act "appropriately" we never quite hit the mark

3. We often end up with our "foot in our mouth" and have no idea how we got there or how to stop it from happening again

Autistic people don't lack empathy. We do experience it differently, though. And I think this misconception needs to be cleared up. (1) First of all, lack of empathy is NOT a feature of autism. In fact, the word empathy is not mentioned once in the autism section of the DSM. Not a single time in all 22 pages of it. (2)

11 signs you might be an introvert, according to WebMD... and why they can also all be signs of autism... (PART 2)

7. Introverts prefer to write rather than talk Many autistic people have a fear of being misunderstood (after frequent misunderstandings have led us to severe negative social consequences).

So when having real time conversations, we want to be as precise as possible to avoid misunderstandings.

11 signs you might be an introvert, according to WebMD... and why they can also all be signs of autism...

(Based on how autism is diagnosed, scientific research, and my own lived experience as a level 1 autistic person...) 1. Introverts need quiet to concentrate

This is often also true for autistic people because sensory sensitivities can make noises distracting and overstimulating. And sensory sensitivities are one of the main criteria of autism.

Autistic people often struggle with decision-making, and I want to talk about why... because discovering the research behind this blew my mind. According to a study (link below) autistic people often struggle with decision-making because we tend to collect and analyze all relevant information in an exhaustive decision-making process in order to identify what we consider to be the best possible outcome.

So, I've known for a while that self inflicted oral lesions (cheek/lip biting) are more common in autistic people, but something I didn't realize is that it's technically a form of self-harm. And I think this is worth discussing in the context of higher and lower support needs... For me, as a lower support needs autistic person, chewing my cheeks and lips is a stim I've had most of my life. And it's been for self soothing purposes...

If you're autistic and have...

- temperature regulation issues
- sleep issues
- difficulty drinking plain water
- difficulty regulating and managing your emotions, and/or
- have a higher or lower than average sex drive

There's science that could explain this. A research study conducted on autistic children and teens found reduced gray matter volume in the hypothalamus of the autistic participants.

The reason this is so significant is that the hypothalamus plays a major role in keeping the body's internal functions balanced...

I don't know who needs to see this, but stomach issues are EXTREMELY common in autistic people.

Some studies have found that up to 91% of autistic people have stomach issues (like constipation, diarrhea, and abdominal pain). And while not all studies reported as high a prevalence as 91%, research HAS consistently shown significantly higher rates of stomach related issues in autistic individuals as compared to nonautistic individuals.