Undiagnosed autism is spending your whole life doing things that make you uncomfortable or that are just not "you" (conforming) to avoid being mistreated (bullied) until you're so good at it that when you finally do get diagnosed, people around you don't believe you. I originally wrote this a while ago, but I want to talk about it for a minute because it's important.

Studies show that more than 60% of school-aged autistic children have been bullied. I even found one study where the number was as high as 95%.

This is beyond unacceptable.

Can autistic people be empathetic?

Believe it or not, the word "empathy" doesn't show up once in the autism spectrum disorder section of the DSM.

So why do so many people think that autistic people lack empathy?

Well, for a few reasons... In 2004, Simon Baron-Cohen, a clinical psychologist in the UK published his Empathy Quotient questionnaire to be used as a measure in an Asperger’s evaluation. For reasons I'm about to challenge, he associated autistic social and communication difficulties with a lack of empathy.

Did you know there's a type of anxiety specific to autism that isn't explained by any of the anxiety disorders currently included the DSM?

Researchers are referring to this type of anxiety as "Distinct anxiety" because it's distinct to autism and tied to autistic traits. I'm sure many of you are wondering what this means, so I'll share a few examples.

- Anxiety tied to unexpected plan changes, changes in routine, or changes to the environment

- Anxiety tied to special interests... not being able to talk about them or access them for some reason

Is it autism, narcissism, or both?

Let's talk about it.

I think autistic people are often mistakenly labeled as narcissistic for a couple of reasons... 1. Autistic people have extremely intense interests and an equally intense need to talk about them. On the other hand, we also have a really hard time processing information that is NOT of interest. So, in a social setting, we can come across as self-centered.

4 things about autism you may not know...

1. Autism is hereditary – Some studies have estimated that up to 90% of the variance in autistic traits is due to genetic factors. This means that if you have an autistic child, there is a reasonable chance that you and/or your child's other biological parent have autism in your genes.

To all the people who are afraid of the autism label, either for themselves or for their child or children... I want to share a few thoughts with you.

An autistic person is who they are with or without the label. The label doesn't change a person, it just changes a person's ability to understand why they face certain challenges, and then gives them a path towards finding solutions for those challenges.

It's Autism Awareness Month, so let's bust a pretty common myth about autism.

"Everyone is a little autistic."

This is not true... so, let's talk about it. If you think about the autism spectrum as a line, where on one end you have not autistic at all, and on the other, you have very autistic... I can see why you might think someone with some traits, but not all would be "a little autistic." But that's not actually how autism works.

It's Autism Awareness Month, so time to set some things straight about autism...

What people think autism is:

- What it looks like in movies

What autism actually is: - Sensory over/under sensitivities including extreme sensory anxiety when overstimulated

- Social and communication differences

- Social interactions are often challenging/draining

- Anxiety when routines are disrupted

When your kid gets diagnosed with ADHD and their lack of organization is explained to you in a way that makes you realize you've struggled with organization your whole life and never realized it. 🤯

-Has 483,649 "unread" emails

-Stacks of important papers on various surfaces -Missed appointments

-Missed bill payments (not due to lack of funds)

-Missed birthdays

-In college, started and finished multiple-page assignments the night before they were due

As an autistic person I have always struggled in social settings because of 2 things

1. It's hard for me to listen to others talk about things I don't find interesting

2. My brain defaults to talking nonstop about my areas of interest which tends to rub people the wrong way

\1 But I think I may have cracked the code on this. So, if you struggle with socializing for these reasons, keep reading... I may have a strategy that can help you.

First, think about interests like a pie with slices, where each slice represents an area of interest.

\2

Did you know that autistic brains generate, on average, 42% more information at rest? 🤯

This explains SO. MUCH. of the autistic experience... Our brains are constantly in motion. Think about that. Even when we're not doing anything, our brains are hyperactively thinking about things. 

We don't get a break. 

I suspect this has something to do with why we are often seen as self-involved.

Real talk... my autism impedes my life in ways I can't ignore most of the time. It makes life super difficult for me. But there are some pretty nifty things it does to my brain that I don't always spend time celebrating.

So... Autism, the positives. At least through my eyes... 1. I can't look past the wrongs I see happening around me. I will call them out if I see them. I will stand up for those who are experiencing mistreatment whenever I can... and use my voice to amplify theirs to the best of my ability.

PSA

Eye contact is a learned behavior.

It is possible to give eye contact and be autistic.

If a practitioner discounts autism based on this one piece of information alone, it's a major red flag.

Let me explain... \1 Yes, the DSM criteria for autism does reference eye contact, but here is the actual wording in the DSM...

"Abnormalities in eye contact." \2

The fallacy of "use a calendar to become better organized" is pretty perfectly called out here. \1 In order to use a calendar effectively (without proactively strategizing first), you have to already BE organized. People with executive dysfunction have brain wiring that significantly impacts our ability to organize ourselves. Which includes using calendars. \2

October is also ADHD awareness month. So, let's talk about it...

I'm going to start with ADD, since I think a lot of people still think ADD is a diagnosis... \1 Back in the 80s, ADHD was just ADD with two types... ADD with hyperactivity and ADD without.

In 1987, the DSM renamed it to ADHD and created 3 sub-types... inattentive type, hyperactive type, and combined type. \2

October is SPD awareness month, so I thought it would be good to share some facts about it.

1. Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) causes the brain to misinterpret sensory inputs and either over or under respond to them 2. There are many different manifestations, but the two main ones show up as sensory avoidance and sensory seeking (many people have a mix of these depending on the sense, the circumstance, their mental state, etc)

Ok, so I can actually explain why this happens... ready? ADHD and other auditory processing challenged brains will have a delayed ability to process auditory inputs.

But the brain has a pretty nifty feature that stores up to 2 seconds of auditory information... it's called the "phonological loop"...

One of the more confusing aspects of autism is that our behaviors tied to our autistic traits can change from one moment to the next.

So let's break this one down.

But first, some examples. \1 We might handle a certain task (like laundry) without difficulty one day, but melt down when asked to do it another.

Or, we might handle social interactions with strangers (like at a social gathering) just fine one day, but struggle a LOT with it another.

But why is this? \2

Ok, so this one is for my fellow friends with rejection sensitivity who have a hard time dealing with judgement...

Several years ago, I read a book called The Four Agreements. It changed my life. Here's what I learned... Agreement 1: If I am always "impeccable with my word," (speak with integrity, use my voice to spread love and support) there is very little a person can say or do to undermine what I say/what I've said.

Level 1 autism in the DSM is defined as requiring support.

This doesn't mean a person can't live independently. This just means that they need external support to get their needs met.

So, let's discuss what this actually means... \1 First, this can mean different things for different people.

Some autistic people need help getting the support they need, and some are able to find ways to get support on their own.

But in all cases, to be considered level 1, needing at least some support is required. \2

What people think autism is:

- What it looks like in movies

What autism actually is:

- Sensory over/under sensitivities, including extreme sensory anxiety when overstimulated

- Social and communication differences \1 - Social interactions are often challenging/draining

- Anxiety when routines are disrupted

- Struggles with transitions

- Difficulty with organization (particularly mental, which can make starting/finishing tasks difficult) \2