Steve Magness Profile picture
Aug 14 10 tweets 2 min read Read on X
We love to say athletes are driven by one of two things:
Love winning.
Or hate losing.

Kobe Bryant saw it differently.

“I’m neither. I play to figure things out.”
Kobe explained:

If you play with a fear of failure, you’re primed to fold.
If you play with “I just want to win,” you live in fear of what happens if you don’t.

Both leave you at the mercy of outcomes, things you can’t fully control.

"But if you find common ground in the middle, in the center, then it doesn’t matter. You’re unfazed. You stay in the moment. Stay connected to it. And not feel anything other than what’s in front of you. I try to be dead center.”
Tom House—a legendary throwing coach who’s worked with Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson, Tom Brady, Drew Brees—noticed something similar.

“They’re addicted to the process. Winning is a byproduct.”

They stay in the process better than anyone.

Even wins only pull them out for moments.
This is harder than it sounds.

Success has gravity...it pulls you toward outcomes, accolades, and the need to prove yourself again and again.

The best resist that pull.

They point their obsession at mastery, not at collecting trophies.

And ironically, that’s what keeps them winning for so long.
Research backs this up.

In education, mastery-oriented students—those focused on learning and comprehension rather than comparison—get better grades, not because they’re chasing grades, but because they seek out challenges.

In sport, a meta-analysis found process-oriented goals had a large effect on performance.

Outcome goals? Little to no effect.
Why does mastery work?

It activates your approach system without triggering avoidance.

You take on challenges for their own sake, not because you’re afraid of what happens if you fail.

That frees you from the pressure and judgment that so often sabotage performance.
Kobe’s “dead center” mindset is a form of mastery.

He wasn’t there to prove his worth.

He was there to figure it out.

That orientation turns every game, every moment—good or bad—into feedback.

It’s all useful. Nothing is wasted.
Fear and outcome obsession narrow your focus until all you see is the threat.

Mastery widens the lens.

You notice possibilities, solutions, and creative angles you’d otherwise miss.

And you can ride out the inevitable highs and lows without losing your footing.
This doesn’t mean you don’t care about winning.

It means you care about how you play more than what you get.

Because you know that if you get the process right, the results follow and even if they don’t, you’re still growing.
So take it from Kobe and the greatest throwers Tom House ever coached:

Don’t just love winning or hate losing.
Get addicted to figuring it out.
Anchor yourself in the process.

That’s where freedom—and sustainable excellence—live.

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More from @stevemagness

Jul 20
Harvard researchers pinged 2,250 people randomly throughout the day to ask 3 simple things:

—What are you doing?
—Are you paying attention?
—How do you feel?

The result? Nearly half the time (46.9%), people weren’t focused on what they were doing.

And the more their minds wandered, the worse they felt.

The key to happiness? Presence...regardless of what you are doing.
Even when minds drifted to pleasant thoughts, people were no happier than when they focused on the present.

When minds wandered to neutral or negative things, happiness plummeted.

So yes, even daydreaming about your next vacation makes you feel worse than doing the dishes, if you’re actually present for the dishes.

It’s not about what you’re doing.

It’s about whether you're fully there.Image
You can’t out-plan or out-visualize your way to happiness.

It’s tempting to think that if we just imagine better futures, we’ll feel better now.

But that’s not how the brain works.

Our minds evolved to wander for survival, not fulfillment.

The challenge today is not escaping the moment—but learning to stay.
Read 9 tweets
Jul 17
We often treat emotions like facts:
“I feel scared, so this must be dangerous.”

But what if that’s backwards?

New research shows emotions aren’t reports of reality: they’re commands for action.

Anger isn’t a judgment. It’s a nudge to confront.

And once you understand this, it helps us understand how to perform under pressure:
Embodied Imperative Theory tells us...

Fear doesn’t say “this is dangerous.”
It says: “to-be-escaped.”

Anger says: “to-be-aggressed-against.”

These aren't abstract ideas. They are embodied states, your body preparing to act.

What you feel is what your system wants to do.
Think of a siren.

It doesn’t describe a storm. It demands a response: Take cover!

Likewise, your emotional system isn’t analyzing the world, it’s directing your behavior.

The signal is the meaning.

But the key is: You don’t have to obey...

But you do need to know what it’s asking for. Clarity starts with decoding the command.
Read 9 tweets
Jul 16
What do the world’s best golfer and an NBA MVP have in common?

They both said: Sport isn't the main thing in their life.

Scottie Scheffler: “I’d rather be a great father than a great golfer...This is not the most important thing in my life.”

Nikola Jokić: “I hope my kid remembers me as a dad, not a player...Basketball is not the main thing in my life.

We often get excellence wrong.

And these two stars are teaching us about the nuance of chasing greatness
Scheffler’s showing how he's able to be dedicated at the craft without losing his mind.

He’s not saying golf isn’t important.

He’s saying it’s not the most important thing.

And that subtle shift changes everything.

Caring deeply is a per-requisite, but if we let external success define us, it pulls us towards feeling we have to win in order to fill that void.

We start pressing and forcing.
Performance is about living in the contrasts.

You have to care deeply, but not so much that your identities at stake.

You have to pour your heart into something, without letting it define your self-worth.

You have to be obsessive, but without losing yourself.

If you mess up the balance, you end up burned out or miserable.

Scheffler said: “I wrestle with why this is so important to me.” That wrestling? That’s the work.
Read 10 tweets
Jul 15
You're tired and feel off.

The antidote is rest and recover, right?

Not always.

Is it fatigue? Or flatness?

Knowing the difference is the difference between staying stuck and breaking through.

One needs rest. The other needs stimulation.

Let’s break it down.
When things feel off, our instinct is to rest.

We assume more recovery is always better.

But sometimes, more rest backfires.

It leaves you sluggish, foggy, and even more disconnected.

In these moments, it’s crucial to understand what kind of “off” you’re dealing with.

Not all recovery needs are the same.
There are three types of “off” states:

1. Fatigue – you’re worn down and depleted.

2. Flatness – you’re under-stimulated and dull.

3. Physiological problem – a deeper issue (illness, deficiency, etc.)

Each state demands a different solution.

Let’s focus on the first two, where most of us go wrong.
Read 8 tweets
Jul 14
Everything you need to know about navigating anxiety, discomfort, and performing under pressure…

You learned as a toddler.

When stress hijacks our brain, our prefrontal cortex shuts down. We lose access to higher-order thinking.

We have toddler brain.

And hidden in our earliest years are clues for how to bring it back online.
When we’re under high stress, the relationship between our amygdala and prefrontal cortex shifts.

The amygdala gets louder, sounding the alarm. The PFC (executive function) gets quieter.

This isn't weakness. It’s protection.

But what works when a bear is chasing us doesn’t work when we’re about to give a big talk or run a race.
You stop thinking clearly.

You start catastrophizing.

Your brain screams: “Abort! Escape! Make it stop!”

That’s the toddler tantrum, just in an adult body.

And to get out of it, we need to use toddler tools.
Read 12 tweets
Jul 12
Ever get caught in a spiral of “what ifs”?

You’re not alone.

Overthinking happens when our brain tries to protect us, from failure, from pain, from the unknown.

But left unchecked, it holds us back.

Here’s how to break the cycle.
When we’re stressed, uncertain, or in pain, the brain’s #1 goal is to reduce threat.

So it does what it’s designed to do: simulate possibilities.

“Should I back off?” “What if I fail?” “Why did I think I could do this?”

It’s like a protective inner narrator trying to exit the discomfort.

It’s not weakness. It’s wiring.
In the middle of a race, when the pain is high, but the finish line is still far...

That’s when the mind starts spinning.

Because the stress is real and the outcome is unknown.

Uncertainty + discomfort = the perfect storm for overthinking.

The same thing happens in life.
Read 9 tweets

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