Thread by @DrBobBeare

Crashing out isn’t weakness—it’s your body finally refusing to fake it.

The performance started in childhood.

Now your nervous system is done playing along.

Here’s how to stop crashing—and start healing:🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

88% of people with chronic collapse and emotional exhaustion have trauma in their history.

It's usually subtle:

-Emotional neglect
-Parent-pleasing
-The quiet terror of never feeling safe to be yourself.

The body remembers what the mind had to forget.

Crashing out can look like:

-Pushing through a job that’s killing your spirit
-Or quitting suddenly and ghosting everyone.

It can mean:

-Clinging to a relationship out of fear
-Or sabotaging one that got too real.

Either way, your body’s trying to speak.

The crash isn’t a breakdown—it’s a breakthrough the false self can’t survive.

That “together” version of you?

Built for survival, not joy.

It got you here.

It’s not what gets you free.

You weren’t overworking for success—you were working to stay acceptable.

To be good.

To get it right.

To not be abandoned.

And your body paid the price for that bargain.

I spent a good portion of my life trying to live up to my dad’s idea of toughness—and trying to escape my mom’s anxious grip.

No blame, just fact.

It took some big losses, over a long time, to finally ask:

Whose life am I living?

Dr Bessel van der Kolk said, “The body keeps the score.”

It holds what you suppressed—until it can’t anymore.

-Panic
-Fatigue
-Rage
-Numbness

Symptoms are messages, not malfunctions.

What we call “losing it” is often your first act of truth.

The collapse is honest.

It’s your nervous system doing what your personality never could:

Say "NO MORE."

Dr Peter Levine says: Trauma isn’t the event—it’s the energy that never got to move.

Until it does, it lives on as tension, reactivity, and crash cycles.

It doesn’t get solved with logic. It gets healed through sensation.

You’re not lazy. You’re dissociated.

And dissociation isn’t weakness—it was your smartest survival move.

But now it’s in the way.

Dr Gabor Maté calls this “the cost of being good.”

When we trade authenticity for attachment, we survive—but we lose ourselves.

Healing is how we come back.

If you're numb, irritable, fantasizing about quitting everything—it’s not a sign you're lost.

It’s a sign that something real is trying to return.

Listen.

Don’t waste the suffering this time.

Healing doesn’t mean quitting everything.

It means:

-Stopping the performance
-Feeling what’s real
-Building a life your body doesn’t want to escape.

It’s less effort.

More truth.

I didn’t learn this stuff in school—I learned it by crashing out many times.

You don't have to do it that way.

That’s why I built the free Emotional Integrity 101 course:

A body-first way to stop performing and start living.

offers.drbobbeare.com/emotional-inte…

You don’t need to collapse again to wake up.

You need support to feel what’s been buried—and finally let it move.

That’s the work.

👉Thanks for reading.
👉If you enjoyed this, please follow me and repost the first post (below).
👉Reply with your thoughts on body-focused healing.

https://x.com/drbobbeare/status/1957789814738112546