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Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 19 • 16 tweets • 4 min read • Read on X

Crashing out isn’t weakness—it’s your body finally refusing to fake it.

The performance started in childhood.

Now your nervous system is done playing along.

Here’s how to stop crashing—and start healing:🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

88% of people with chronic collapse and emotional exhaustion have trauma in their history.

It's usually subtle:

-Emotional neglect
-Parent-pleasing
-The quiet terror of never feeling safe to be yourself.

The body remembers what the mind had to forget.

Crashing out can look like:

-Pushing through a job that’s killing your spirit
-Or quitting suddenly and ghosting everyone.

It can mean:

-Clinging to a relationship out of fear
-Or sabotaging one that got too real.

Either way, your body’s trying to speak.

The crash isn’t a breakdown—it’s a breakthrough the false self can’t survive.

That “together” version of you?

Built for survival, not joy.

It got you here.

It’s not what gets you free.

You weren’t overworking for success—you were working to stay acceptable.

To be good.

To get it right.

To not be abandoned.

And your body paid the price for that bargain.

I spent a good portion of my life trying to live up to my dad’s idea of toughness—and trying to escape my mom’s anxious grip.

No blame, just fact.

It took some big losses, over a long time, to finally ask:

Whose life am I living?

Dr Bessel van der Kolk said, “The body keeps the score.”

It holds what you suppressed—until it can’t anymore.

-Panic
-Fatigue
-Rage
-Numbness

Symptoms are messages, not malfunctions.

What we call “losing it” is often your first act of truth.

The collapse is honest.

It’s your nervous system doing what your personality never could:

Say "NO MORE."

Dr Peter Levine says: Trauma isn’t the event—it’s the energy that never got to move.

Until it does, it lives on as tension, reactivity, and crash cycles.

It doesn’t get solved with logic. It gets healed through sensation.

You’re not lazy. You’re dissociated.

And dissociation isn’t weakness—it was your smartest survival move.

But now it’s in the way.

Dr Gabor Maté calls this “the cost of being good.”

When we trade authenticity for attachment, we survive—but we lose ourselves.

Healing is how we come back.

If you're numb, irritable, fantasizing about quitting everything—it’s not a sign you're lost.

It’s a sign that something real is trying to return.

Listen.

Don’t waste the suffering this time.

Healing doesn’t mean quitting everything.

It means:

-Stopping the performance
-Feeling what’s real
-Building a life your body doesn’t want to escape.

It’s less effort.

More truth.

I didn’t learn this stuff in school—I learned it by crashing out many times.

You don't have to do it that way.

That’s why I built the free Emotional Integrity 101 course:

A body-first way to stop performing and start living.

offers.drbobbeare.com/emotional-inte…

You don’t need to collapse again to wake up.

You need support to feel what’s been buried—and finally let it move.

That’s the work.

https://x.com/drbobbeare/status/1957789814738112546

👉Thanks for reading.
👉If you enjoyed this, please follow me and repost the first post (below).
👉Reply with your thoughts on body-focused healing.

https://x.com/drbobbeare/status/1957789814738112546

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More from @DrBobBeare

Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 21

I was obsessed with getting people to love me.

Romance. Validation. Attention.
None of it ever filled the hole.

So I studied it—deeply.
Trauma, addiction, attachment.

And I found a way out.
Here’s how. 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

Someone once asked me,
“Do you plan to suction love for the rest of your life?”

It hit like a slap.
And then it cracked me open.
I cried for two hours straight.

It was the first time I met the wound underneath it all:
Abandonment.

Over 40% of people report feeling chronically lonely—even in relationships.

I was one of them.
I chased relief in romance, alcohol, achievement.

But the deepest pain—the one that nearly killed me—
was emotional dependence.

Not love.
Need.

Dr Alex Howard

Read 16 tweets

Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 20

Most people think confidence is about mindset and discipline.

But real confidence isn’t a mental hack.

It’s a regulated nervous system.

Here’s why we stay stuck in self-doubt—and how to build unshakable confidence from the inside out: 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

Most people don’t lack ambition or talent.

They lack internal freedom.

If your body is locked in feer of being seen, speaking up, or taking up space—no affirmation or productivity hack will fix that.

You’ll freeze every time.

This isn’t a flaw in your character.
It’s a pattern in your nervous system.

Gabor Maté says:
“We're responding to the past—emotionally imprinted in the body.”

That’s why confidence is so hard to fake.

Confidence is a felt sense in your body.

And shame is what blocks it.

Read 14 tweets

Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 18

Dr. Nicole LePera faced her trauma—and rewrote the rules of therapy.

Here’s how she made millions understand what it really takes to break old patterns. 🧵

She refused to follow the party line of psychotherapy, which focuses on intellect and behavior.

Instead, she said: “The body holds the truth. Heal the body, heal the mind.”

She turned her own trauma into a roadmap for others.

Generous, brave, and real—she teaches people how to see the loops that keep them stuck and break them.

Read 12 tweets

Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 16

They called him a madman. A sex-crazed fraud.

But Wilhelm Reich discovered something no one was ready to hear:

Trauma lives in the body—and healing must begin there.

Here’s how he was silenced, erased, and proven right 70 years later: 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

Reich began as a rising star under Freud.

But he soon broke away.

Freud focused on talk. Reich watched the breath. The posture. The tension.

He said the body remembers what the mind forgets.

Trauma lives in our muscles, not just our thoughts.

He called it “muscular armor.”
Chronic tension that forms as a defense against feeling.

Stiff jaws. Collapsed chests. Shallow breath.

You’re not just anxious—you’re armored. And it started long before you knew the word “trauma.”

Read 15 tweets

Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 15

Four men—two poets, two psychiatrists—spanning 900 years, spoke the same truth about healing.

Their wisdom is buried deep in history and psyche.

Here’s how you can use what they discovered to face your unconscious—and start to heal. 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

Rumi’s soul cracked open when his closest companion died.

Grief tore him apart but opened a door.

He wrote: “Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place.”

He turned his grief into a dance that others still do today.

He knew healing begins where the heart breaks.

Shakespeare lost his son and lived through plague and social collapse.

He buried grief in tragedy:
-Macbeth’s guilt
-Lear’s madness
-Hamlet’s paralysis.

His plays show what happens when pain stays unspoken.

Read 16 tweets

Dr. Bob Beare

@DrBobBeare

Aug 14

After 25 years as a therapist, I’m done pretending.

Psych meds and talk therapy don’t heal trauma.

Real healing lives in the body.

Here’s the truth no one wants to say: 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)

Over 75% of people in traditional therapy drop out early.

Because they know it’s not working.

Endless talk and telling someone to change their thoughts and behaviors—doesn’t resolve the terror stored in their nervous system.

Dr Gabor Maté