Most people think confidence is about mindset and discipline.
But real confidence isn’t a mental hack.
It’s a regulated nervous system.
Here’s why we stay stuck in self-doubt—and how to build unshakable confidence from the inside out: 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)
But real confidence isn’t a mental hack.
It’s a regulated nervous system.
Here’s why we stay stuck in self-doubt—and how to build unshakable confidence from the inside out: 🧵 (by a PhD psychologist)
Most people don’t lack ambition or talent.
They lack internal freedom.
If your body is locked in feer of being seen, speaking up, or taking up space—no affirmation or productivity hack will fix that.
You’ll freeze every time.
They lack internal freedom.
If your body is locked in feer of being seen, speaking up, or taking up space—no affirmation or productivity hack will fix that.
You’ll freeze every time.
This isn’t a flaw in your character.
It’s a pattern in your nervous system.
Gabor Maté says:
“We're responding to the past—emotionally imprinted in the body.”
That’s why confidence is so hard to fake.
Confidence is a felt sense in your body.
And shame is what blocks it.
It’s a pattern in your nervous system.
Gabor Maté says:
“We're responding to the past—emotionally imprinted in the body.”
That’s why confidence is so hard to fake.
Confidence is a felt sense in your body.
And shame is what blocks it.
Brené Brown calls shame “the fear that we’re not good enough for love, connection, or belonging.”
If you carry unresolved shame, your body will contract every time you try to step forward.
Dr Brené Brown
If you carry unresolved shame, your body will contract every time you try to step forward.
Dr Brené Brown
Shame lives in the body—and drives your thoughts.
It’s the tightness in your chest when you speak up.
The heat in your face when you’re seen.
The collapse in your gut when you make a mistake.
This isn’t mindset.
It’s biology.
It’s the tightness in your chest when you speak up.
The heat in your face when you’re seen.
The collapse in your gut when you make a mistake.
This isn’t mindset.
It’s biology.
Dr Peter Levine, the father of Somatic Experiencing, said:
“Trauma is a fact of life. But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.”
Dr Peter Levine
“Trauma is a fact of life. But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.”
Dr Peter Levine
Confidence issues aren’t about willpower.
They’re often the echo of early experiences where it wasn’t safe to be you.
When your body stores that memory, it chooses one of four responses:
→ Fight
→ Flight
→ Freeze
→ Fawn
They’re often the echo of early experiences where it wasn’t safe to be you.
When your body stores that memory, it chooses one of four responses:
→ Fight
→ Flight
→ Freeze
→ Fawn
So what builds real confidence?
It's not mindset.
It's nervous system regulation and body-based healing.
It's not an overnight process.
It took years to gather the trauma, fear, shame.
It's going to take some time to address it and let it go
Dr Bessel van der Kolk
It's not mindset.
It's nervous system regulation and body-based healing.
It's not an overnight process.
It took years to gather the trauma, fear, shame.
It's going to take some time to address it and let it go
Dr Bessel van der Kolk
You don’t push through shame. You melt it—with safety, compassion, and presence.
This is where somatic practices come in:
→ TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises)
→ Somatic therapy
→ Breathwork
→ Safe, co-regulated relationships
They bring your body back online.
This is where somatic practices come in:
→ TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises)
→ Somatic therapy
→ Breathwork
→ Safe, co-regulated relationships
They bring your body back online.
Somatic therapy works bottom-up.
Not by changing your thoughts—but by changing how your body relates to fear and shame.
That’s when your nervous system says:
“I can breathe.”
“I can speak.”
“I can take up space.”
And suddenly... you're not faking confidence anymore.
Not by changing your thoughts—but by changing how your body relates to fear and shame.
That’s when your nervous system says:
“I can breathe.”
“I can speak.”
“I can take up space.”
And suddenly... you're not faking confidence anymore.
Real confidence isn't always loud.
Sometimes it's quiet. Grounded. Present.
It's what happens when you're able to stop pretending and start feeling.
When you reclaim the parts of yourself that shame made you hide.
That’s the beginning of true power.
Sometimes it's quiet. Grounded. Present.
It's what happens when you're able to stop pretending and start feeling.
When you reclaim the parts of yourself that shame made you hide.
That’s the beginning of true power.
You don’t need to become someone else.
You need to come home to the parts of you that got left behind.
You’re not broken. You’re just dysregulated.
And healing is possible.
You need to come home to the parts of you that got left behind.
You’re not broken. You’re just dysregulated.
And healing is possible.
If you're ready to get your mojo fired up.
I’ll teach you how to reconnect with your emotions to start living authentically.
Get my free 5-day course: “Emotional Integrity 101”
offers.drbobbeare.com/emotional-inte…
I’ll teach you how to reconnect with your emotions to start living authentically.
Get my free 5-day course: “Emotional Integrity 101”
offers.drbobbeare.com/emotional-inte…
👉Thanks for reading.
👉If you enjoyed this, please follow me and repost the first post (below).
👉Reply with your thoughts on body-focused healing.
👉If you enjoyed this, please follow me and repost the first post (below).
👉Reply with your thoughts on body-focused healing.
https://x.com/drbobbeare/status/1958152221440258086
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