Dapsy𓃵 Profile picture
Aug 24 10 tweets 5 min read Read on X
Sex is sweet… until orthopedics join the chat.🚑😂

Let’s break down 8 popular sex positions that carry the highest risk of injury if done wrong.

👇🏽 A thread you’ll never forget 🧵 Image
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1. Cowgirl (Woman on Top, facing partner)

🚨 Risk Level: High

The most dangerous position statistically.

If she comes down at the wrong angle, the penis bends instead of sliding in → penile fracture.

Moral: Don’t turn your man’s banana into plantain chips. Image
2. Reverse Cowgirl (Woman on Top, facing away)

🚨 Risk Level: Very High

Even riskier than regular cowgirl.

The man has zero control over the angle.

A hard slam at the wrong angle = game over.

Moral: This isn’t Fast & Furious, it’s Bed & Fractures. Image
3. Doggy Style (Rear Entry)

🚨 Risk Level: Medium-High

Loved worldwide, but risky if thrusting is too hard or angle shifts suddenly.

Can lead to penile fracture, pelvic strain, or vaginal tears.

Moral: Doggy should bark, not snap. Image
4. Standing

🚨 Risk Level: Clumsy

Both partners standing or one lifted up.

Problem: balance is fragile → slips, falls, pulled muscles, even concussions.

Moral: This isn’t the Olympics, keep it steady. Image
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5. Wheelbarrow

🚨 Risk Level: Extreme

Looks freaky, feels wild, but is basically a gym workout.

Risks: shoulder dislocations, wrist injuries, lower back strain, crashing to the floor.

Moral: Do this and you might get a gym membership + hospital bill combo. Image
6. The Splits / Extreme Leg-Spread Positions

🚨 Risk Level: High

Unless you’re a gymnast or ballerina, don’t attempt.

Risks: hamstring tears, hip dislocation, groin strain.

Moral: Don’t try to audition for Cirque du Soleil in your bedroom. Image
Image
Image
7. Lotus

🚨 Risk Level: Medium

Romantic, intimate, but if thrusting goes too hard, it bends things in ways they shouldn’t.

Back strain and awkward angle fractures possible.

Moral: Lotus is for vibes, not high-speed racing. Image
Image
8. Pile Driver

🚨 Risk Level: Highest

Receiver is upside down, legs over shoulders, gravity is not your friend.

Risks: neck injuries, spinal compression, balance-related crashes.

Moral: Do this and you’re basically applying for a hospital bed. Image
Image
Finale 🎤

Sex positions can be fun, but remember:

Wrong angle + too much force = 🚑

Don’t let pleasure become pressure.

If it feels wrong, STOP.

Stay safe, stay freaky, stay OUT of the hospital 💯

• • •

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