When you get good at something, the world rushes to put you in a box.
“The runner.” “The musician.” “The whiz kid.”
Labels feel flattering, then quietly become cages.
You start optimizing life around protecting the label instead of growing as a person.
That’s the trap: achievement narrows identity, and a narrow identity is fragile.
It leads to what researchers call Identity foreclosure.
When we stop exploring who we are, and cement around a particular construct.
Early success accelerates this process. When the rest of your friends are dabbling and trying different things in school...you are already exploiting your talent.
At first, the cost is invisible. It's nice to be known as something. But over time, it leaves you stuck with the sense of self you developed as a 15 year old.
Before long, your worth rides on one scoreboard.
Fragility shows up when the inevitable wobble comes.
A bad race, a missed promotion, an injury, a flop.
If your entire self sits on one pillar, any crack feels existential.
Now the goal isn’t to grow; it’s to protect the image at all costs.
Performance suffers because fear replaces curiosity.
We love to say athletes are driven by one of two things:
Love winning.
Or hate losing.
Kobe Bryant saw it differently.
“I’m neither. I play to figure things out.”
Kobe explained:
If you play with a fear of failure, you’re primed to fold.
If you play with “I just want to win,” you live in fear of what happens if you don’t.
Both leave you at the mercy of outcomes, things you can’t fully control.
"But if you find common ground in the middle, in the center, then it doesn’t matter. You’re unfazed. You stay in the moment. Stay connected to it. And not feel anything other than what’s in front of you. I try to be dead center.”
Tom House—a legendary throwing coach who’s worked with Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson, Tom Brady, Drew Brees—noticed something similar.
“They’re addicted to the process. Winning is a byproduct.”