Ben Kelly Profile picture
Aug 25 18 tweets 5 min read Read on X
The richest people in the U.S. aren’t building tech startups.

They’re buying car washes and laundromats using SBA loans.

Here are 11 boring businesses with the lowest failure rates in 2025: Image
1) Laundromats

~95% survive 5 years.

Consistent demand, coin-operated, minimal staff.

Profit margins: 30-35% thanks to self-service & upfront payment.
2) Self-Storage Facilities

~92% success after 5 years.

Low overhead, minimal staffing, highly scalable.

Average cash flow: $100/month per unit, fills gap with remote management.
3) Commercial Cleaning Services

Failure rate far below industries like restaurants.

Profit margins 10-15%, or $120k annually once scale hits.

Sell recurring contracts, upsell add-ons like post-renovation or deep clean.
4) Pressure Washing

Widely underserved & expanding tight margins.

Clients pay $300-$600 per job (a team can generate $100k+/year).

Seasonal but ideal for bundling with cleaning portfolios.
5) Pool Cleaning & Maintenance

Steady demand, subscription-like monthly clients.

Profit margins: 20-30%.

Recurring weekly visits = Steady cash flow
6) Gutter & Chimney Cleaning

Upsell staple services with high margins.

Owner-run → $40K+/year per specialist and scalable via teams.

Low startup cost, limited competition.
7) Senior Care Housing (Non-medical)

High success rate, government-backed stability, essential demographic growth.

Cash flow locked in via leases or rent. Image
8) Pet Services (Grooming/Boarding)

Essential service for pet owners and recession-resilient.

Profit margins: 20–25%, highly repeatable bookings.

Premium clients value trust over price. Image
9) Accounting / Bookkeeping Firms

Recurring revenue, high client retention.

EBITDA-based acquisition multiples = Arbitrage potential.

Low failure rate, strong cash-on-cash ROI via consolidation. Image
10) HVAC & Plumbing Services

Rented equipment needed year-round.

Margins: 15–25%, recurring contracts with maintenance packages.

Boomer owners retiring = Acquisition opportunities.
11) Car Washes (Automated)

Recurring usage, minimal staff, high ticket upsells.

Cash flow covers debt and funds lifestyle, scale via additional locations.
The best part?

You can buy one that’s already profitable (without having millions in the bank).

My partners and I acquired an accounting firm for $1,400,000 with $0 personal investment:

• SBA loan: $1,000,000
• Seller financing: $200,000
• Investor down payment: $200,000
I’m not even a CPA.

My partner runs operations while I receive distributions for minimal oversight.

The plan?

Acquire 15-20 more firms, integrate them, exit for $100M+
While others chase unicorn startups…

Smart money buys essential services.

These businesses solve permanent problems that won’t disappear during recessions.

That’s why I love this game.
If you want to learn more about how you can buy a boring business as an additional income stream…

📲 DM me “Biz” and I'll show you how
🤝 Follow me → @benkellyone for more

Thanks for being here!
Video Credits:

- step
- jordanbrowninvesting
- grasaaway
- mr_powerwash
- thepoolguyml
- mekainason
- joshuadent_
- ThacNguyen
If you want to learn exactly how you can purchase your first small business with little to no money down...

DM me "SMB"

I'll take you through my step-by-step strategy to help you acquire a lucrative business.

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More from @benkellyone

Aug 6
Boring income streams are the best.

You’d be foolish not to consider one of these lame but lucrative businesses (8 options):

1) Laundromat
2) Vending Machines
3) Self-Serve Car Wash
Read 12 tweets
Aug 4
Working at JP Morgan taught me one thing:

Owning beats earning.

If you want to set yourself financially free…

Steal these 7 wealth secrets from JP Morgan’s top 1% elites: Image
1) Assets > Income

The wealthy don't chase high salaries.

They buy assets that create passive income streams.

This is why I started buying small businesses instead of climbing the corporate ladder.
2) Other People's Money (OPM)

The rich rarely use their own cash.

They leverage financing like SBA loans to buy income-producing assets.

You can do this to buy businesses with little to $0 down.
Read 11 tweets
Jul 30
If I had $25k to invest…

I wouldn’t buy stocks.
I wouldn’t buy real estate.
I wouldn’t even buy Bitcoin.

I’d do exactly what my clients at JP Morgan did.

I’ll expose it for you:
As soon as I started at JP Morgan…

It became painfully obvious to me:

We were serving our clients because THEY were the ones with all the money.

So, what did they do?
They stole Private Equity’s playbook.

AKA…

- Buying small businesses
- Upgrading the operations
- Pocketing all the cash flow

I wanted in.
Read 16 tweets
Jul 25
I only invest in timeless, boring businesses.

Why?

Because I want profit, not headaches.

Here are the 8 best options (2025): Image
1) Storage Facilities

I can't imagine a world where people stop collecting unnecessary stuff.

Storage is a super simple model:

• Automated access systems
• Little daily management
• Recurring payments

That's a win in my book.
2) Laundromats

Sure, you might have to go pick up your coins and cash every day.

But that's a problem I'm okay with.

People are always going to need to wash their clothes, no matter what.

Good locations crush it.
Read 12 tweets
Jul 22
Private Equity’s best-kept secret:

Buy a business for $3M and it instantly becomes worth $7M.

It’s called “multiple arbitrage.”

Here’s how I’m stealing this strategy to build wealth as a regular guy:
A plumbing company makes $10M/year
↳ At a 7x multiple? That’s $70M

A plumbing company making $1M/year
↳ At a 3x multiple? That’s $3M

If the big company bought the smaller one, it would create $7M out of thin air…

Let me explain:
Bigger companies = Higher multiples.

So when a company is doing $1M in revenue, it can only be valued at a 3x-4x multiple.

But when it gets bought by the big company, and revenue becomes $11M per year?

The new valuation is a 7x multiple (so this “new company” is now worth $77M).
Read 15 tweets
Jul 16
Boring businesses make the most money.

It's not complicated, yet 99% of people still search for the fancy ones.

So please...

Buy one of these boring businesses (8 options): Image
1) Pressure Washing.

Think about this for a second:

You can buy one power washing machine and pay it off with just a few jobs.

Then?

1. You hire a few people.
2. Buy a few more machines.
3. Repeat the process indefinitely.

Pressure-washing companies are cash cows. Image
2) Tent Rental.

Tent renting couldn't be more simple.

You buy the tents.
You hire a few college kids.
You send them to your locations.

These tents are used for:

• Parties
• Weddings
• Music festivals
• Construction sites

And people pay a fortune for this service. Image
Read 11 tweets

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