Here’s how to finally let go of the need to always “get it right.”
Step 1: Name what it’s protecting. Perfectionism often masks fear of rejection, shame, or not being good enough.
Step 2: Notice where it shows up. At work? In your texts? In your body? Pay attention to the pressure to perform instead of just be.
Step 3: Let people see the real you. Send the slightly messy email. Speak before your thought is polished. Let someone love you mid-process.
Step 4: Redefine “good enough.” It means being honest, present, and not losing your mind trying to impress people.
Step 5: Talk to yourself like someone you love. Try: “I’m allowed to be learning. I don’t need to be perfect to be valuable.”
Step 6: Let rest count. You don’t need to earn it. Rest isn’t a reward — it’s your right.
Step 7: Grieve the old you. The one who thought being perfect = being safe. Thank them. Then let them off the hook.
If you'd like IMMEDIATE access to next month's course on PERFECTIONISM and many others, enrollment opens September 1st. Spaces are limited and do sell out. Click here to join the waitlist: selfhealerscircle.com
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Emotional stability is key to having peace and fulfillment.
Here are steps you can take to build a more emotionally stable life:
Unsubscribe from urgency culture: give yourself time before responding to texts, emails, or others' crises. Pause and check in with yourself first. Are you in the right mindset to respond? If not, reply when you’re ready.
Don’t make assumptions: we tend to create stories in our heads about others' intentions that may not be accurate. If you're unsure about why someone did something, ask them directly.
Ever find yourself constantly reading other people’s moods?
That’s called emotional monitoring, and here’s why it happens:
Growing up in a home with emotional chaos or inconsistent caregivers can make us super sensitive to how others are feeling. We do this to try to predict potential threats and figure out how to handle relationships.
If your caregivers were unpredictable, you probably started monitoring emotions to avoid conflict or rejection.
You’re more sensitive to other people’s energies, less willing to do small talk, and wanting more time to be alone.
You are releasing the conditioned belief of love as a romantic fairytale in favor of love as an opportunity to grow, evolve, and learn to trust yourself.