Daractenus Profile picture
Dec 8, 2025 12 tweets 4 min read Read on X
Theres a very long list of US products that cannot be sold in the EU thanks to EU regulations. Since the favorite pastime of the Trump regime and every US oligarch is now to demonize EU regulations, I thought it would be very much worth going through some of those products.🧵 Image
US Instant Mashed Potatoes

Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, the EU decided to outright ban the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hairloss. Image
US Pork

Because American pigs are often fed large amounts of ractopamine, a drug that does wonders in increasing muscle growth in pigs and cancer in humans, the EU has deemed the product unsafe and banned it, seemingly without much concern for the profits of US oligarchs. Image
US Artificial Blueberries

Banned in the EU but found in nearly every US product claiming to have actual blueberries in it, the fake blueberries get their blue from a totally safe and tasty petroleum derived dye, one highly recommended for those looking to grow a third arm. Image
US Rice

Thanks to US companies occasionally spraying a totally safe arsenic based pesticide on their rice paddies, somewhat inexplicably, the European Union decided to put US rice on its watchlist, requiring it to be tested for arsenic before being sold to Europeans. Image
US Chicken Meat

The American habbit of bathing chicken meat in chlorine, a very safe and cheap practice legal in the US, led the European Union to ban US chicken meat and treat it basically like a chemical weapon that has a high likelyhood of helping one develop superpowers. Image
US Frozen Dinners

Containing a totally safe chemical also widely used to bleach plastic, the wide variety of US frozen dinners have been deemed as unsafe for human and animal consumption in the EU, a widely unpopular move among Europeans looking for a quick way to get cancer.
US Chocolate Milk

Following several studies that have found the product to really help in never seeing what life beyond 50 looks like, or at least not remembering it for long given it seems to also cause Alzheimer's, the EU banned this otherwise delicious US product. Image
US Maraschino cherries

Pretty much America's favorite cocktail garnish, deemed safe by the US despite containing a red dye linked to everything from allergies to dementia, most of the EU banned the consumption of these cherries, forcing Europeans to eat actual cheeries. Image
US Apples

Known to otherwise keep the doctors away, thanks to the diphenylamine they are sprayed with, regular consumption of US apples is a great way to make sure you will end up seeing multiple confused doctors and has been banned from sale in the European Union. Image
The list is so long, it can only take a team effort to complete it, so do feel free to contribute, fellow Europeans!
To be fair, whatever scrutiny the US government lacks in regulating food that may or may not turn you into a mutant ninja turtle, it more than makes up for by having its Secretary of Pestilence discredit lifesaving vaccines. Image

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More from @Daractenus

Mar 24
Given that we all could probably use a bit of lighthearted humor right now, and since it’s been quite some time since my last “News from Romania” thread, here’s an all time best of collection of the funniest and most absurd real bits of news I’ve collected over the years. 🧵
Enjoying the location and not allowing himself to be disheartened by the fact that it was very occupied, a Romanian man built his house right on top of an apartment block.

Due to some obscure piece of legislation and the sheer difficulty of it, the house cannot be demolished. Image
After having built a brand new school in the village, a mayor made an appeal to his fellow villagers to come help demolish the old decrepit school. The entire community answered the call and, in a misguided zeal of enthusiasm, demolished both schools, old and new. Image
Read 21 tweets
Mar 22
Over the past year, I’ve constantly asked myself how it is possible that 77 million people voted to have this abomination as their president for a second time. While I certainly don’t have the answer just yet, I think I’ve come up with a rather accurate how-to guide of sorts.🧵
First and foremost, it is essential to acknowledge that ending up in an autocracy or a full fledged dictatorship is something that can only happen to other people. Of all times and all places, you alone are lucky enough to find yourself in the one spot magically immune to it.
Of all things promised by the simpleton you plan to vote for, it is most important to keep in mind he obviously only intends to do the things you agree with. Every single one of those plans or promises you personally disagree with, he obviously can't or won't actually do.
Read 9 tweets
Mar 21
Since I happen to be from Transylvania, seeing so many people claim that Stephen Miller is a vampire led me to take a closer look at the life of this man suspiciously passionate about racial purity, currently serving as the US shadow president, for all intents and purposes.🧵
Having went bald and aged some 37 years between the ages of 15 and 17 and already an avid reader of "Guns&Ammo" magazine by the age of 12, Miller would eventually let his only childhood friend know they can't be friends anymore on grounds of him being the wrong shade of white. Image
Failing in his bid for Student Government, having run on a platform that argued students should not have to pick up trash, because, in his view, that was the "God given role of Black and Latino janitors", Miller began incessantly calling into local neo-Nazi radio shows. Image
Read 11 tweets
Mar 17
Have you been looking for a place to relax, unwind and quite possibly significantly shorten your lifespan? Are you passionate about forced labor? Is indoor plumbing not really your thing? Here's a few cities in Russia you should absolutely consider as your next trip abroad!🧵Image
Famous for having the world’s largest Lenin head and pretty much nothing else really, Ulan-Ude is highly recommended to those looking to experience a sense of existential insignificance and dread, best appreciated while standing directly beneath Lenin’s unblinking gaze. Image
While not particularly popular with tourists, residents or anyone that's ever heard of it for that matter, Saratov answered the rather obnoxious popular demands for sanitation, roads, healthcare and running water with a substantial amount of mud that covers everyone's needs. Image
Read 28 tweets
Mar 17
To remind Donald Trump and his supporters why the US now finds itself without allies willing to provide the help Trump desperately wants but claims he doesn’t need, in the war he says he won, here’s a sample of the many comments he has made about US allies over the past year. 🧵
Canada

In just a year, Donald Trump made tens of comments about his desire to annex Canada, posting maps and attempting to tariff it into submission. Just 6 days ago, for what is probably the hundredth time, Donald Trump refereed to the PM of Canada as "the future governor".Image
Denmark

Up until not even two months, Donald Trump continued to announce daily that he will invade and annex Greenland, repeatedly refusing to rule out using military force against Danish soldiers and going as far as to essentially appoint a "future governor" for the island.Image
Read 9 tweets
Mar 16
In an attempt to explain just why it is that some 77 million Americans voted for the dumbest man alive to be their president for a second time, I’m absolutely delighted to present you with the expanded list of US food that you cannot legally sell in Europe!🧵 Image
US Instant Mashed Potatoes

Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, most of Europe has outright banned the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hair loss.Image
US Fake Blueberries

Banned in the EU but found in nearly every US product claiming to have actual blueberries in it, the fake blueberries get their blue from a totally safe and tasty petroleum derived dye, one highly recommended for those looking to grow a third arm.Image
Read 17 tweets

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