Theres a very long list of US products that cannot be sold in the EU thanks to EU regulations. Since the favorite pastime of the Trump regime and every US oligarch is now to demonize EU regulations, I thought it would be very much worth going through some of those products.🧵
US Instant Mashed Potatoes
Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, the EU decided to outright ban the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hairloss.
US Pork
Because American pigs are often fed large amounts of ractopamine, a drug that does wonders in increasing muscle growth in pigs and cancer in humans, the EU has deemed the product unsafe and banned it, seemingly without much concern for the profits of US oligarchs.
US Artificial Blueberries
Banned in the EU but found in nearly every US product claiming to have actual blueberries in it, the fake blueberries get their blue from a totally safe and tasty petroleum derived dye, one highly recommended for those looking to grow a third arm.
US Rice
Thanks to US companies occasionally spraying a totally safe arsenic based pesticide on their rice paddies, somewhat inexplicably, the European Union decided to put US rice on its watchlist, requiring it to be tested for arsenic before being sold to Europeans.
US Chicken Meat
The American habbit of bathing chicken meat in chlorine, a very safe and cheap practice legal in the US, led the European Union to ban US chicken meat and treat it basically like a chemical weapon that has a high likelyhood of helping one develop superpowers.
US Frozen Dinners
Containing a totally safe chemical also widely used to bleach plastic, the wide variety of US frozen dinners have been deemed as unsafe for human and animal consumption in the EU, a widely unpopular move among Europeans looking for a quick way to get cancer.
US Chocolate Milk
Following several studies that have found the product to really help in never seeing what life beyond 50 looks like, or at least not remembering it for long given it seems to also cause Alzheimer's, the EU banned this otherwise delicious US product.
US Maraschino cherries
Pretty much America's favorite cocktail garnish, deemed safe by the US despite containing a red dye linked to everything from allergies to dementia, most of the EU banned the consumption of these cherries, forcing Europeans to eat actual cheeries.
US Apples
Known to otherwise keep the doctors away, thanks to the diphenylamine they are sprayed with, regular consumption of US apples is a great way to make sure you will end up seeing multiple confused doctors and has been banned from sale in the European Union.
The list is so long, it can only take a team effort to complete it, so do feel free to contribute, fellow Europeans!
To be fair, whatever scrutiny the US government lacks in regulating food that may or may not turn you into a mutant ninja turtle, it more than makes up for by having its Secretary of Pestilence discredit lifesaving vaccines.
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With MAGA rediscovering American exceptionalism and thinking Europe to be the underdeveloped backwater where we live in underground holes and bow hunt rats for survival, I've decided to do a short thread tackling some of the many failures of the American education system.🧵
While MAGA propagandists, Elon Musk, JD Vance, and Fox News spend every minute of every day telling you that the Europe you can’t point out on a map is unsafe, we’ve built so much safer of a society that it would take several civil wars to get us on par with the United States.
While amounting to about a quarter of the world’s GDP, the United States of America can barely provide its population with a life expectancy comparable to that of Albania, which, despite being Europe’s poorest country, still manages to offer free healthcare to its people.
I think the best way to anticipate where the US is headed next is by looking at the life of Stephen Miller, the US shadow president and very embodiment of evil that is now appearing on every TV channel to defend the ICE agent that summarily executed an innocent woman.🧵
Having went bald and aged some 37 years in between the ages of 15 and 17 and already an avid reader of "Guns&Ammo" magazine by the age of 12, Miller would eventually let his only friend know they can't see each other anymore on grounds of him being the wrong shade of white.
Failing in his bid for Student Government, having run on a platform that argued students should not have to pick up trash, because, in his view, that was the God given role of Black and Latino janitors, Miller began incessantly calling into local neo-Nazi radio shows.
To highlight Russia's willingness to negotiate and because we tend to lose track of facts and statements, I've compiled a list of all threats and predictions made over the past 2 years by Dmitry Medvedev, former president and current deputy chair of Russia's Security Council.🧵
January-February 2024
Russia to soon get Alaska.
Texas to become independent with Russian help.
Threatens Sweden with annihilation.
Threatens British PM with cluster munitions.
Threatens Ukraine with nuclear missiles.
French farmers to start a revolution against Macron.
March-April 2024
European ambassadors to be kicked out of Russia then all of Europe to get nuked.
Claims Latvia doesn't exist.
The French and the Anglo-Saxons threatened be nuked.
Threatens Latvia with nuclear weapons.
The French and Germans threatened to be nuked again.
Since I actually happen to be from Transylvania, seeing so many people call Stephen Miller a vampire made me want to take a closer look at the life of this man suspiciously passionate racial purity who has so far spent nearly every waking moment of his life hating immigrants.🧵
Having went bold and aged some 37 years in between the ages of 15 and 17 and already an avid reader of "Guns&Ammo" magazine by the age of 12, Miller would eventually let his only friend know they can't see each other anymore on grounds of him being the wrong shade of white.
Failing in his bid for Student Government, having run on a platform that argued students should not have to pick up trash because, in his view, that was the God given role of Black and Latino janitors, Miller began incessantly calling into local neo-Nazi radio shows.
Because most of my fellow Europeans haven't had the time nor stamina to fully acquaint themselves with the complete spectrum of insanity that is the current U.S. administration, I've taken it upon myself to offer a brief, honest introduction to its main characters.🧵
Often affectionately referred to as "pure f*cking evil" by her closest friends and by everyone who has ever met, seen, or heard her really, Kristi Noem is the woman Trump tasked with deporting people to Salvadoran concentration camps, after learning that she shot a puppy.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr, the former heroin addict and self proclaimed imaginary brain worm survivor that once admitted to having eaten a dead bear he stumbled upon before burying the carcass in New York's Central Park at night, currently serves as the U.S. Secretary of Pestilence.
I figured the best way to celebrate Ukraine sinking another Russian submarine would be to revisit what is arguably the greatest feat of incompetence in Russian naval history, for now.
This will be a TLDR of the utterly idiotic voyage of Russia's "Second Pacific Squadron."🧵
With the population on the verge of revolution, Tsar Nicholas II figured a short and easy war would be just what he needed to help with his popularity.
Of all potential candidates for that "short and easy war", in a well-thought-out move, he picked Imperial Japan.
Admiral Makarov, arguably Russia's most competent, was sent out to lead the Russian Far East Fleet, stationed at Port Arthur, today in China.
For Makarov, the Trans-Siberian train ride all the way to the Far East was to be an extremely long and tiresome one...