Daractenus Profile picture
Dec 8, 2025 12 tweets 4 min read Read on X
Theres a very long list of US products that cannot be sold in the EU thanks to EU regulations. Since the favorite pastime of the Trump regime and every US oligarch is now to demonize EU regulations, I thought it would be very much worth going through some of those products.🧵 Image
US Instant Mashed Potatoes

Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, the EU decided to outright ban the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hairloss. Image
US Pork

Because American pigs are often fed large amounts of ractopamine, a drug that does wonders in increasing muscle growth in pigs and cancer in humans, the EU has deemed the product unsafe and banned it, seemingly without much concern for the profits of US oligarchs. Image
US Artificial Blueberries

Banned in the EU but found in nearly every US product claiming to have actual blueberries in it, the fake blueberries get their blue from a totally safe and tasty petroleum derived dye, one highly recommended for those looking to grow a third arm. Image
US Rice

Thanks to US companies occasionally spraying a totally safe arsenic based pesticide on their rice paddies, somewhat inexplicably, the European Union decided to put US rice on its watchlist, requiring it to be tested for arsenic before being sold to Europeans. Image
US Chicken Meat

The American habbit of bathing chicken meat in chlorine, a very safe and cheap practice legal in the US, led the European Union to ban US chicken meat and treat it basically like a chemical weapon that has a high likelyhood of helping one develop superpowers. Image
US Frozen Dinners

Containing a totally safe chemical also widely used to bleach plastic, the wide variety of US frozen dinners have been deemed as unsafe for human and animal consumption in the EU, a widely unpopular move among Europeans looking for a quick way to get cancer.
US Chocolate Milk

Following several studies that have found the product to really help in never seeing what life beyond 50 looks like, or at least not remembering it for long given it seems to also cause Alzheimer's, the EU banned this otherwise delicious US product. Image
US Maraschino cherries

Pretty much America's favorite cocktail garnish, deemed safe by the US despite containing a red dye linked to everything from allergies to dementia, most of the EU banned the consumption of these cherries, forcing Europeans to eat actual cheeries. Image
US Apples

Known to otherwise keep the doctors away, thanks to the diphenylamine they are sprayed with, regular consumption of US apples is a great way to make sure you will end up seeing multiple confused doctors and has been banned from sale in the European Union. Image
The list is so long, it can only take a team effort to complete it, so do feel free to contribute, fellow Europeans!
To be fair, whatever scrutiny the US government lacks in regulating food that may or may not turn you into a mutant ninja turtle, it more than makes up for by having its Secretary of Pestilence discredit lifesaving vaccines. Image

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More from @Daractenus

Feb 21
In an attempt to possibly explain why 77 million Americans voted for this man, while simultaneously explaining just why it is that Europeans live substantially longer, I’m absolutely delighted to introduce the revised list of US food that you cannot legally sell in Europe!🧵
US Bread

Traditionally baked with just enough potassium bromate to make it fluffy and sufficient sugar to make the diabetes get to you before the cancer from the bromate does, US bread is legally sold as "cake" in the few EU countries that still allow for it to be sold. Image
US Instant Mashed Potatoes

Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, most of Europe has outright banned the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hair loss. Image
Read 16 tweets
Feb 20
Multiple U.S. federal agencies (FBI, DEA, ICE and State Department) have signed a three-year contract with Oxygen Forensics, a Russian software company founded by "former" FSB agents, specializing in software for geolocation and extraction of deleted data from smartphones. Image
Meet Russia's "Oxygen Software": Image
Per , public data: USAspending.govImage
Read 4 tweets
Feb 19
"She did the movie and it has become the biggest selling documentary in 20 years, can you believe it? The theaters are all packed. Women especially they go back and they see it 2 or 3 times."

For your reading pleasure, here’s the top reviews of documentary "Melania":🧵
The Guardian: "The whole thing was exhaustingly boring and chillingly vain. Melania’s appears an entirely airless existence [...] The two hours of Melania feel like pure, endless hell. They list Melania’s achievements in such laudatory fashion that North Koreans would blush."
The Independent: "To call Melania vapid would do a disservice to the plumes of florid vape smoke that linger around British teenagers. [...] The First Lady is a preening, scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda. Even then [as propaganda], it is bad."
Read 7 tweets
Feb 18
Since most of my fellow Europeans haven’t had the time or stomach to fully acquaint themselves with who’s who in Trump’s up and coming American Reich, I’ve taken it upon myself to create a short guide to the main cartoon villains and abominations of this administration.🧵
Affectionately referred to as "pure fucking evil" by her closest friends, family and by everyone who has ever met, seen, or heard her really, Kristi Noem is the woman Trump tasked with deporting people to Salvadoran concentration camps, after learning that she shot a puppy.
Married to an obscenely rich man whose children were already having children by the time she was born, and often seen wearing oversized crosses to differentiate herself from her North Korean counterpart, Karoline Leavitt is currently serving as White House Press Secretary.
Read 15 tweets
Feb 15
Given that Trump supporters seem to think of Europe as an underdeveloped backwater where people live in underground holes and bow hunt rats for a meal, it might be worth revisiting this short thread tackling common U.S. stereotypes about Europe and American exceptionalism.🧵 Image
While every US oligarch and official, assuming there's still a distinction about the two, likes to decry the lack of freedom in Europe, nearly every single country on the European continent ranks significantly higher than the "land of the free" in terms of freedom of press. Image
In a ranking that will likely worsen thanks to the US now having a Secretary of Pestilence entirely focused on banning lifesaving vaccines and bragging about snorting cocaine off of public toilets, the US has about the same infant mortality rates as the African continent. Image
Read 10 tweets
Feb 11
With Russian operative and generic "Florida Man" Anna Paulina Luna now effectively calling for the dissolution of the EU, it believe it is worth revisiting just how utterly tragic EU accession has been for some of the most recent member states to join.🧵
Since tragically joining the union in 2004, Poland has barely even managed to quadruple its GDP and start what is routinely referred to as "The Polish Golden Age", likely an achievement completely unrelated to the quarter of a trillion dollars worth of EU funds it received. Image
Joining in 2007, moment at which it famously topped world charts in efficient governance and standard of living, average wage in Romania went from about a nickel and a smile to about $1200 net, with Bucharest alone now having a bigger GDP than Serbia and Bulgaria combined. Image
Read 7 tweets

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