Thread by @Mylovanov

On Budanov’s desk sits notebook labeled “List of Assholes 2026.”

He is a Hero of Ukraine, former head of military intelligence, now head of the Presidential Office. Babel tells his story. 1/

Born in Darnytsia, raised in an ordinary family. His father engineered parts for the Soviet space program at the Kyiv Radio Plant. He studied at a school with Jewish classes funded by the Jewish community. He learned Hebrew and still keeps ties with Ukraine’s chief rabbi. 2/

He dreamed of being a soldier from childhood — his grandfather told family legends about intelligence officers. He trained in Crimea every summer, hiking 30-40 km with a backpack and climbing cliffs. That passion would later save his life. 3/

In 2003, 40 were selected from 200 applicants for the Odesa Military Institute. Budanov made the cut. Students lined up for his help with higher mathematics. 4/

When locals picked fights with cadets, the whole class went out to brawl together on Kulykove field. He secretly took classified books from the library and read them on duty — an offense that could get him expelled. 5/

After graduation everyone expected him to join airborne brigades or SBU Alpha. When they learned he had chosen military intelligence, everyone was shocked. Nobody had even dreamed of intelligence. 6/

From 2007 he served at GUR headquarters on Rybalsky Island. Until 2014 he took part in no combat operations — he studied and prepared. In 2014 he joined “Group 40” — GUR volunteers who went to the front. 7/

They traveled from Mariupol to Stanytsia Luhanska, gathering intelligence, going behind enemy lines, organizing sabotage. 8/

First wound: March 2015, shrapnel in the neck and shoulder blade. He asked his brothers-in-arms to leave him and retreat. They refused. The fragment was never removed at the scene — surgery came later in Dnipro. 9/

In 2016 Budanov personally led an operation in Crimea. Russia had concentrated weapons and helicopters in Dzhankoi and GUR decided to destroy them. Before every difficult operation he played “Sword of Arey” and every participant drank 20 grams of rum. 10/

Weapons were smuggled into Crimea by inflatable boat. The group swam in underwater. At the meeting point instead of their driver — Russia’s elite FSB Vympel unit. They jumped out shouting “Everyone down, FSB is here.” Nobody went down except them. 11/

Budanov counted 13 shots fired point-blank at one attacker. The GUR officers killed FSB Lieutenant Colonel Kamenev. The rest scattered. Budanov and a comrade ran to the shore and jumped off a cliff into the water. One bullet had hit his satellite phone. 12/

They waited in the water for a day then swam nearly 10 km across Perekop Bay to the mainland. The operation was not completed — two men were captured. Budanov took the failure hard. 13/

Second wound came on Marianna’s birthday. He called from the ambulance and calmly, joking about counting his fingers, told her he had been wounded. Third wound December 2016 — a bullet shattered his right elbow. Twenty surgeries. Rehabilitation at Walter Reed. 14/

He met Marianna on a train in 2013 returning from Odesa. For their first date he brought flowers, a Stefan Zweig book she had mentioned, and scales — she was monitoring her weight, he had remembered. She did not know where he worked for a long time. 15/

He remembers the exact date they met — August 17, 2013. Some important political dates he does not. 16/

On August 5, 2020 Budanov became head of GUR. In November 2021 he told Military Times in detail what the full-scale invasion would look like and when. The Kremlin called it “hysteria.” 17/

On February 22, 2022 at a meeting with faction leaders he named the attack directions and warned of the threat from Chornobyl. The forecast came true. Before the invasion they nearly fired him — one version says Russia demanded it in exchange for improved relations. 18/

On February 24, 2022 he and Marianna met the invasion at GUR headquarters. She lived in his office and watched the first groups leave for Hostomel and saw the wounded brought back. “In his element: with weapons and grenades — a man of war.” 19/

According to The Economist, Yermak tried to remove Budanov from his GUR position at least nine times. Each time his good relations with the president saved him. 20/

On January 2, 2026 Zelenskyy appointed him head of the Presidential Office. Budanov initially did not want to go and tried to negotiate so that his own person would be appointed GUR head. It did not work out. 21/

In his new office: a large chessboard, an icon, a samurai katana and a record player with albums from Prodigy to Beatles. Unlike Yermak, Budanov does not restrict access to the president. MPs, regional heads and business representatives no longer need passes to enter. 22/

At his first meeting on military recruitment offices he gave two weeks for bribery to stop and warned: if he learns of bribes in any specific office after that, the entire chain of command will be removed. 23/

“Don’t you want to be liked?” Babel asked after another sharp response.

Budanov: “I am a general. I am a Hero of Ukraine. I can afford it.” 24X

Source: babel.ua/texts/126488-k…