ChrisO_wiki Profile picture
May 10 13 tweets 3 min read Read on X
1/ If yesterday's Victory Day parade had been a true reflection of Russia's frontline army as it is now, it would have been a chaotic display of battered vehicles, motorbikes, exhausted soldiers on crutches, and donkeys. A Russian warblogger imagines how it could have been. ⬇️ AI-generated depiction of a realistic Victory Day parade based on the warblogger's description
2/ 'Jon Snow and the Second Singer' writes:

"A parade. It will be led by children carrying portraits of their fathers—old photographs, of course, from their civilian lives, from that time.

Mavic 3 drones will fly overhead.
3/ "Next will come a thin line of Chinese enduro bikes, dirty to the point of being colorless, with riders dressed in whatever’s available at Chechen military surplus stores: pink Chinese cartoon T-shirts, 5-ruble hats, 5.11 caps, and backpacks from Avito.
4/ "A few ATVs with trailers will pass by, hung with so many antennas that even satellites in space would go off the charts, and [footballer Anton] Dzyuba will lose his erection.
5/ "Something rattling and belching diesel fumes will speed by—something resembling a huge rusty shell-shaped garage with bristles of cables sticking out...
6/ "A ragged group of limping yokels will pass by, some on crutches. They all have huge, shapeless backpacks; some carry five-litre bottles of water, wearing fishermen’s winter boots.
7/ "A cowboy-style parade will trudge by, consisting of two horsemen and a donkey driver with a donkey loaded with 120 mines.
9/ "With the intensity of Mad Max, a convoy of five passenger cars, stripped down beyond recognition, will race by; inside, standing up, are dirty people with Vepr and Saiga shotguns.
9/ "Four Vampires [heavy drones] will fly by: one with a PG-7V [RPG], one with a TM-62 [mine], one with 1.5-litre bottles of drinking water, and one with bags of chicken bouillon cubes, instant noodles, and Snickers.
10/ "A passenger car with two women will drive by, packed with boxes and masks; a sticker on the rear tinted window reads “Z,” and a trailer with a gray tarp is hitched to the back—its contents are invisible.
11/ "Somewhere in the distance, a jet plane will fly by. It will be clear that it’s ours, but we won’t be able to see it.
12/ "Bringing up the rear will be a group of old, battered [UAZ] Patriots [SUVs] in various colours, one of them on a tow rope, with a trail of oil dripping from its axles trailing behind it. Above them, a Geran drone.
13/ "P.S. I forgot the loaf [UAZ-452 van]. It has to be a loaf with a grill and a mesh on top of it. So that on the bumps the back doors would open, and someone from inside would slam the door shut with a mat." /end

Source:
t.me/johnsnow2squad…

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More from @ChrisO_wiki

Jun 16
1/ Sevastopol is effectively under siege from Ukrainian drones, prompting some Russians to make comparisons with the sieges of 1855 and 1942. Others compare it to J.R.R. Tolkien's Minas Tirith. However, unity is lacking among the inhabitants, says a Russian warblogger. ⬇️ Image
2/ 'Near the War' describes a recent visit to Sevastopol:

"I confess, I thought several times before driving from Donetsk to Sevastopol. Military acquaintances had long warned me that the enemy might attempt to blockade the Crimean Peninsula."
3/ "And since early May, the R-280 "Novorossiya" highway has been under attack by Ukrainian Hornet drones.On the way to Sevastopol, we saw the aftermath of these artificially intelligent hornets' hunt:…
Read 20 tweets
Jun 16
1/ Former Roscosmos CEO and current Russian Senator Dmitry Rogizin has a novel suggestion for deterring Western countries from seizing 'shadow fleet' tankers. He advocates turning them into giant bombs by rigging them to explode if they're captured. ⬇️ Image
2/ Commenting on the British seizure of the Russian shadow fleet tanker SMYRTOS at the weekend, Rogizin – like many other Russian commentators – likens it to an act of piracy. He suggests:
3/ "I believe we should mine the tankers we use. Initiation should occur when appropriate commands are received or when a tanker deviates from its route and is forced to enter a foreign port.
Read 13 tweets
Jun 16
1/ Russian warbloggers have rushed to disclaim blame for the attack on the historic Kyiv-Pechersk Lavra. They claim the Ukrainians did it themselves, argue that the church isn't sacred to the Ukrainians, and say Ukraine just wants Russia to look bad. ⬇️
2/ Damage, what damage?, asks Andrey Medvedev, claiming that the whole thing was faked for the cameras:

"There's no need to restore anything in general. There's no damage. It's just a vivid night picture. Which suggests a deliberate arson for the sake of a photo."
3/ Lev Vershinin says the church was a legitimate military target:

"My busy schedule prevented me from commenting on the strikes on Kyiv this morning, and thank God for that, because I might have said something stupid in the heat of the moment."
Read 56 tweets
Jun 15
1/ Iran has reportedly assessed that Donald Trump is "mentally incompetent" and has incorporated psychologists into its negotiating team to adapt the wording of the proposed agreement "as if the recipient were a [mental] patient ... whose capacity is limited." ⬇️ Image
2/ The Russian 'Political Report' says that "Iranian authorities have included leading psychologists in the negotiating team to review drafts of all messages before sending them to Trump."
3/ "This is not a supplementary measure, but a direct consequence of an internal assessment that the American president is mentally incompetent, whose reactions cannot be predicted by conventional diplomatic methods.
Read 12 tweets
Jun 15
1/ The news at the weekend that the British Royal Marines have seized a Russian shadow fleet tanker in the English Channel has aroused anger and expressions of shame from Russian warbloggers. They demand that the Russian government should take action. ⬇️
2/ 'Alex Parker Returns' characterises the seizure as "Captain Price landing on a tanker of the Russian shadow fleet. I remind you that you can get revenge on the Brit who is causing trouble by voting for United Russia and rallying more strongly around the president. Be good!"
3/ 'Novorossiya militia reports' declares:
"The British have openly entered into war with Russia, no longer hiding behind either the "law" or their proxies."
Read 19 tweets
Jun 15
1/ Russian commanders routinely make false claims to have captured territory, in order to win awards and personal bonuses. However, the army is reportedly stepping up efforts to uncover instances of "painting over" the map of the front line in Ukraine. ⬇️
2/ Russian warblogger Vladimir Romanov highlights how the practice is causing mass casualties among Russian soldiers, with some commanders maintaining two parallel maps – one of the true line of contact, and a more flattering 'painted over' version to show to their superiors.
3/ "Returning to the paint-overs, the higher-ups periodically conduct compliance checks on the personnel data.

In some places (like in the Kupyansk sector), this is purely formal.
Read 8 tweets

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