no one is talking about how 60 monkeys can now make hands free phone calls (Sorry guys if this ruins the little dumbass Twitter joke but the screenshot above is fake. I thought that had already come to light on Twitter. Sorry for ruining your lives)

Lowering my mask to eat and drink because Corona obviously stops dead in its tracks if you’re taking a sip. Like I know I’m guilty of this and every single time I’m like “I’m being so dumb.”

My boyfriend and I stayed up until 3am watching almost the whole season of Marriage or Mortgage; I’m *invested.* the best part of the show imo is that all the couples seem to genuinely love / like each other!! The tension isn’t like “oh we hate one another.”

can't wait to go to a party or bar again soon to corner someone and bring up how the Jason Wade version of You Belong to Me that's on the Shrek soundtrack isn't on Spotify one time at work everyone made a list of their top five albums of all time and I put the Shrek soundtrack on mine and everyone got mad but I was right

when a job listing says the words "fast-paced environment" that means toxic imagine listing a job being like "slow-placed environment," "not a huge deal, just a job, this shouldn't be your whole life. Capitalism sucks lol"

one thing that concerns me so much is that either humans as a whole or much more likely today’s American society is showing itself to be absolutely incapable of sacrifice. The idea of sacrifice is going to be like The Theme of the next 100 years imo. Who sacrifices? For whom? What are we willing to sacrifice? Etc

I cannot understand weddings right now. I cannot. If being legally married matters to you for sex and you can’t wait a second longer go get a document at a courthouse and suck off your partner. If legality isn’t the issue then fucking why wouldn’t you want to WAIT? I know about deposits. But that’s a sunk cost. You cannot get the money back by having a shitty half-full wedding where you spread Corona.

I hate when true crime shows make someone do a polygraph test because they aren’t ... real Update: the Chris Watts documentary is terrible.

I’m 12 mins into the octopus documentary and I donated to an ocean conservancy project oceanconservancy.org/?_ga=2.2685982…

This is my personal answer not The Correct Answer but I think the first step is treating it like actual meaningful grief, which it is.

https://twitter.com/dreifarbenfuchs/status/1307399226473807872

The loss of a future/a goal/a long term dream/a plan is SAD and worth grieving over. So the same way you would allow yourself sadness and fear and messiness in grief over death, allow yourself it for this.

A lot of people are finally waking up to the likelihood that their lives will not go like their parents’ lives went, and it’s very hard to let go of that expectation. I also think a lot of people already knew that and are at a later/different stage of grief. Like babe we’re not getting mortgages and children and college educations and Roth IRAs. Sorry but you’re not gonna be 60 years old talking about your new hardwood floors with your best friends on the back patio.

It’s weird when people who are white, cis, straight, able bodied and relatively well off talk about moving out of America. Like your rights are relatively unchanged. The problem is people worse off than you...That doesn’t disappear if you move to Canada. Like if you feel ok living in Canada or Europe or wherever without a care for people in america whose rights ARE being threatened, then you should be fine living here and ignoring the issue. Is your problem SEEING this stuff happen??

Arizona, Maine and NC have senate races that are winnable for Dems!! Unfortunately McConnell is leading by a lot in KY. Give to close races! Ok here is Mark Kelly in Arizona secure.actblue.com/donate/ads-mek…

There is a house near mine that my dog practically drags me to where about 5 feral cats live and they aren’t always there but when they are she makes me stand and watch them with her like a creep Update: shes moved closer

this stat gets thrown around A LOT and while it’s certainly helpful to point out the fact that corporations are way more harmful than individuals, the stat is misleading

https://twitter.com/johnpaul_mejia/status/1304519741177036802

I used to throw it around too!!! But then someone explained that the companies that are on that list are mostly fossil fuel companies and when INDIVIDUALS use their products (ie drive cars, take cruises, fly, etc) the study counted that as emissions from the corporation

You know the “we invited food reviewers to try the whopper commercial”? ....Why do they make the food reviewers pay??? I can’t understand the commercial at all. Like they invited food reviewers to go through the drive through and pay for their food and the reviewers are glad it’s 2/$5 ???

God I can barely even read this shit. Like collapsing ecosystems will kill so many people. We cannot live on the world we’re building right now. We are going to have to make a lot of painful changes.

https://twitter.com/NPR/status/1304230792399331329

We HAVE to start feeding people differently. We have to figure out how to live more sustainably.

Macaroni sucks ass but gets overlooked because it’s so basic !!!!!!

https://twitter.com/rosadona/status/1302814853137149953

I’m gonna block anyone who says angel hair, which is objectively one of the best pasta shapes of all time

thought I was going NUTS. finally looked it up after years of confusion. David Copperfield is two people. there are two david copperfields. you: Dev Patel is playing David Copperfield in a movie

my stupid ignorant ass: ..... I don't think so!

I know we have so much going on so I'm not trying to be like "WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS" but in 2020 alone there have been about 12 deaths at Fort Hood, many of which are murders (the number of reported deaths is kind of variant because some include deaths of soldiers in car crashes and others don't)

genuinely fuck those selfish ass people of all the things I don't get going forward with right now, a wedding has to be at the top of the list.

Like if getting legally married is important to you, ok... get a document from the courthouse.

BUT HAVING THE WEDDING?!?????