Got a depressing email from a 25yo guy saying he wanted to off himself because he wasn’t 6-feet and couldn’t reach 6 figs in time to get a wife and have kids, so what’s the point in living?

He wouldn’t believe there are scrawny 5’8” dudes making $80k and dating amazing women. The whole rhetoric around 6–6–6 is really insane. It’s a bunch of highly damaged women laying out arbitrary measurements for hypothetical men they’ve never met, rules which they throw aside for real connection. And a bunch of angry dudes claiming that’s the reason they’re alone.

Your wife is unhappy. She’s complaining, distant, and uninterested in sex. You’re trying EVERYTHING—helping around the house, giving her space—but nothing is working.

Here’s the hard truth: the problem isn’t effort. It’s connection. Let’s talk about what that means for you. 🧵👇 Most men think if they just do more—more chores, more compliments, more dates—it’ll fix the marriage. But if your wife doesn’t feel emotionally connected to you, none of that will land.

The root issue? You never built SECURE ATTACHMENT. Here’s why that matters. 👇

Your wife is frustrated. Complaints are constant.

Sex? Rare, if ever.

You’re trying to “fix it,” but nothing works.

Here’s the truth: it’s not about what you’re doing wrong. It’s about what you never built right (because you didn't know how).

Let’s talk about attachment. 🧵👇 Marriages don’t fail because of arguments or mismatched sex drives. They fail because of unresolved attachment issues.If you and your wife didn’t bond securely at the start, cracks will show under stress—and right now, they’re showing.

Here’s why. 👇

The wife is getting worse. She's been unreasonable for years, but now she's plain mean.

Her husband wants to make things better. But he can't get past her spiky armor. And he gets blamed for everything.

What can he do to turn this around?

Here's what works: 🧵 This awful dynamic is confusing for most men. They just want a loving relationship, and they try every tactic they can think of, but nothing works. She just gets WORSE.

I've seen this problem thousands of times in my 15 years of experience working with couples.

The cause is...

Why are an estimated 40% of men neurochemically incapable of feeling loved?

Modern life is activating a specific survival adaptation that turns off men's ability to experience the neurochemical markers for feeling loved by others.

Here's what's happening...🧵 Men have the ability to shift their brain chemistry to respond to hard times and bad environments. This shift happens in childhood based on experiences that shape how you perceive the world to function.

Hard and lonely childhood can lead to a different brain.

Here's how...

The wife feels lonely and sad, but the husband has no idea why. They love each other but don't like each other anymore.

This is by far the most common married couple who comes to me for help. And there's a specific reason this is happening.

Here's the reason:🧵 There's a hidden relationship dynamic playing out in about 50% of adults:

Growing up in families that didn't teach the vital skills needed to maintain a functioning romance has led to generations of adults who can't maintain a marriage and make it thrive.

Here's why:

August is DIVORCE MONTH, and there are a lot of couples heading toward that cliff right now.

How can you tell if your marriage is just a little rocky or if you're standing at a breaking point?

Here's a list of the signs you need to look for (from a professional): 🧵 Sign 1: Arguing has turned to rage or silence.

Couples can argue at times. If your spouse is escalating into rage and demonizing you as the problem, or if they've gone silent and stopped engaging completely, these are signs of a massive rift. Their brain has tagged you "enemy."

Like many of you, I used to think there were only 4 attachment styles.

My 15+ years in the field of Psychology and my work in attachment has led me to believe there are actually 8.

I'll list them here and you can see which one is defining your life right now.

Thread🧵 First up: Avoidant attachment

This used to be called Dismissive Avoidant (DA) and has been demonized for decades. I've broken it into two main types:

1) Ethical Avoidant
2) Manipulative Avoidant

These are VERY DIFFERENT and you NEED to know the differences:

Why are an estimated 40% of men neurochemically incapable of feeling loved?

Something about modern life is activating a specific survival adaptation that turns off men's ability to experience the neurochemical markers for feeling loved by others.

Here's what's happening... Men have the ability to shift their brain chemistry to respond to hard times and bad environments. This shift happens in childhood based on experiences that shape how you perceive the world to function.

Hard and lonely childhood can lead to a different brain.

Here's how...

Men, if you don't understand your wife's desires, she's never going to desire you.

Here's what you need to know to drive her libido through the roof: Even most women don't understand how their own sex drive works. They can make vague statements about feeling "safe" and "close to you" but they can't measure what that means or give a clear pattern to follow.

Most men get lost here.

This is what you need to know:

Too many men live in quiet desperation, cohabiting like roommates with a wife who grows more angry and critical as time passes.

Facing a deteriorating relationship with your spouse can feel like a never-ending battle. It can even feel hopeless.

Here's how to fix it:🧵 Most husbands around the world share a common goal: to mend their relationship and rekindle the warmth and affection that once was.

Yet, no matter how hard they try to break through their wife's armor, their efforts seem only to add fuel to the fire of blame.

This is because...

The wife is getting worse. She's been unreasonable for years, but now she's plain mean.

Her husbands wants to make things better. But he can't get past her spiky armor. And he gets blamed for everything.

What can he do to turn this around?

Here's what works: 🧵 This awful dynamic is confusing for most men. They just want a loving relationship, and they try every tactic they can think of, but nothing works. She just gets WORSE.

I've seen this problem thousands of times in my 15 years of experience working with couples.

The cause is...

What do women want from men? 🤔

There IS an answer. And it's not what you'd expect.

Most single men today have NO CLUE how to answer this question. So I'm going to make this simple for any man looking to attract a loyal and passionate woman.

Here's what women want from you: 🧵 In my clinical experience, women want FOUR THINGS from men. My 15 years of experience in Psychology as a therapist/coach as well as my 15 years of happy marriage prove they're true.

When I speak with women in private, these 4 things are what they reveal they NEED for attraction.

The wife feels lonely and sad, but the husband has no idea why. They love each other but don't like each other anymore.

This is by far the most common married couple who comes to me for help. And there's a specific reason this is happening.

Here's the reason: There's a hidden relationship dynamic playing out in about 50% of adults:

Growing up in families that didn't teach the vital skills needed to maintain a functioning romance has led to generations of adults who can't maintain a marriage and make it thrive.

Here's why:

Approximately 33% of lottery winners go bankrupt within 5 years.

39% of first marriages end in divorce.

Both are a skill issue. Even if you get what you hope for, in this case a loving partner, you need skills to make things work.

Here are the you need to keep romance alive: 1. Conflict resolution.

In a recent survey of divorced individuals, 43% said they found it impossible to solve problems with their partner.

Conflict resolution is a set of skills you SHOULD learn as a child based on how your parents negotiate with you.

Or you MUST learn now.

What the NUMBER ONE reason I see LTRs and marriages break up?

In my clinical experience as an LMFT and now as a relationship coach, the same problem keeps breaking apart couples who WANT TO STAY TOGETHER.

And that problem is... That one or both partners lack the COMMUNICATION SKILLS needed to resolve issues, share their needs, compromise on important issues, and ultimately WORK AS A TEAM.

They end up loving each other but not LIKING each other. Their brains flag the other person as an ENEMY.

And...

A lot of otherwise loving couples are facing hard times right now.

The winter season puts huge strain on your connection. Small cracks or gaps in your relationship will split open. Fighting increases. Intimacy disappears.

If this is you, here's what's happening: 🧵 Wintertime decreases your serotonin and melatonin. This means your sleep gets a bit worse and your mood goes down. That's normal for mammals and is linked to less sunlight, among other environmental factors.

But there are several factors you can control which make a huge impact.

Should you get married fast or slow if you want to avoid divorce later?

The research on this is fascinating, and if you want to connect with a partner and make it last, here are some stats you should know - Plus what they mean for you and how to maximize your chances

Thread🧵 A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who dated for approximately 25 months before marriage were significantly more likely to have a stable and happy marriage.

Building a foundation DOES matter, but it is necessarily the time that matters?

Ugly Psychology truths no one wants to admit.

I worked for many years as a licensed psychotherapist, and these are some of the harshest realities that people refuse to talk about. Let’s get in some trouble.

1 retweet = 1 harsh truth, so keep the chain going. Male depression and female depression often present very differently, and they also tend to heal differently. But most therapy modalities are really only geared to help women recover. Many can actually make men more depressed.

Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death for American men

77% of suicides are men

Male depression is spiraling out of control & they're escaping their pain the only way they know how

I've worked mental health for 15 years & here are 15 harsh facts about male depression

👇🧵 1

Male depression comes down often to learned helplessness, meaning they have NO SENSE OF POWER in their life.

Men need power over their
Pain
Fear
Income
Honor
Discipline
And personal sovereignty

When you rob men of power, they feel helpless and worthless in their life.

Married men, are you miserable in your marriage?

Is your wife always mad at you and wish she'd be sweet instead?

Do you feel a divorce is looming but want to save the relationship?

Or are you in the roommate phase and want to rekindle romance?

There's usually 2 culprits: There are 2 outcomes here.

One is that she's a whacko who can't connect with you, and you need that find that out.

The other is that she's an otherwise loving woman but something is missing in your connection.

Here's how to tell...