Most people stumble through dating blind. The 3-Date Method fixes this by giving you a roadmap.

Here’s exactly what to do—and even what to SAY—on each of the 3 dates to discover if you’re truly compatible. 🧵 Date 1: Direction
This isn’t “What’s your favorite color?”
This is: “Where are you going in life?”

Script to start:
“I know this might feel early, but I’m looking for someone who wants marriage and family down the line. What about you?”

Direct. Clear. No time wasted.

The most damaging behaviors in romantic relationships aren’t always dramatic abuse. They’re the almost normal patterns that slowly poison love.

Let’s talk about the silent killers of relationships—on both sides, what men and women do to each other. 🧵 What some men do that destroys love:
– Withdrawing into silence instead of engaging
– Dismissing her emotions as “crazy” or “dramatic”
– Using logic as a weapon to avoid intimacy
– Giving only provision but withholding presence

This teaches her she’s alone in the relationship.

Yesterday I explained what men and women bring to each other:
Men provide safety.
Women provide peace.

But why must each side receive first, before they can give their portion back?
Because love runs on capacity.
Let’s break it down. 🧵 A man who doesn’t feel peace will be too burned out to offer safety.
If his nervous system never calms, his testosterone collapses. Stress eats him alive.
He can’t protect, can’t provide, can’t bond—because survival mode is draining all his energy.

Men and women don’t just “bring things to the table.”They each bring the very ingredients our bodies and nervous systems need to feel safe, peaceful, and alive.

Here’s what men and women offer each other when love is secure. 🧵 Men provide 4 levels of safety:
Physical
Financial
Emotional
Bonding

Women provide 4 levels of peace:
Calm
Gentleness
Loyalty
Executive partnership

Let’s break these down.

“What do women even bring to the table?”
“Why do I even need a man?”
“Is marriage outdated?”

Let’s answer all three in one thread. Because the truth is, marriage is still one of the most powerful forces for human health, success, and fulfillment. 🧵 First: for men (from research)

Men in stable marriages live longer.
They earn more.
They recover from illness faster.
They have lower rates of addiction and depression.
They enjoy better sex and more frequent intimacy than single men.

Marriage isn’t a cage. It’s a launchpad.

When love starts feeling like war…

You can’t fix it with a weekend getaway.
You can’t fix it with more sex.
You can’t even fix it by “talking it out.”

Here’s why your relationship feels like it’s dying—and what to do before it’s too late. 🧵 It’s called a cortisol association.
Over time, every fight, every cold shoulder, every unresolved hurt trains your brain to link your partner with stress, pain, and threat.

You stop feeling safe with them—and start feeling on guard.

Not every distant partner is a narcissist.
Some are just avoidant—wounded, cautious, and moral to their core.

If we can’t tell the difference, we destroy good people and miss the real danger.

Let’s break it down so you know what to look for 🧵 An ethical avoidant person pulls back when intimacy feels unsafe.

They hate drama.
They don’t want to hurt you.
They live by a quiet moral code: “I won’t harm you, but I can’t get too close.”

If you feel criticized, attacked, and unloved in your marriage right now— you’re not imagining it.

This time of year makes everything worse.

Here’s why…🧵 August is the peak month for divorce filings. Summer is over. The “let’s try one last time” trips and changes didn’t fix anything.

Stress is high. Patience is low. Every unsolved problem feels heavier now.

But why NOW?

Some relationships never feel close—no matter how much time you spend together.

It’s not because you’re incompatible.
It’s because neither of you will talk about the yellow and red flags in the relationship, so you both feel uncertain.

Here's how to fix this. 🧵 You feel something’s off, but you say nothing.
You spot a pattern, but you ignore it.
You see a flaw in yourself, but you hide it.

You think you’re avoiding conflict but what you’re really avoiding is connection.

Not every wife is willing—or able—to repair a marriage.
Some go past the point of return, where she’s no longer a partner, but an adversary.

Here’s how to recognize the signs she’s never going to work with you. 🧵 It starts with contempt.
The eye rolls.
The scoffing.
The little smirks when you speak.
Once she sees you as beneath her—morally, intellectually, or emotionally—connection begins to die.

Quiet. Polite. High-achieving.
Everyone thinks you “have it all together.”

But inside, you’re knotted with anxiety, terrified of making a wrong move, and stuck in survival mode.

This is what I call quiet disorganized attachment—and it’s far more common than anyone realizes. 🧵 As a kid, you learned to stay invisible.
No feelings. No mistakes. No burden.

You earned safety through silence and performance, hoping it would keep you from being hurt, rejected, or abandoned.

Everyone praised you for being “the easy one.”
No one saw the fear driving it all.

Do you remember when they couldn’t keep their hands off of you, but now you can’t remember the last time you shared a tender caress?

This is the most common story I hear from couples.
Here’s why it happens—and how to get the spark back. 🧵 Passion doesn’t just “fade with time.”
It’s starves.

The fuel for lifelong passion is a hormone called oxytocin—the bonding chemical that makes touch feel electric and intimacy feel irresistible.
Without it, you drift apart.
With it, you can’t keep your hands off each other.

"We just fell out of love."

That’s what couples say.
But it’s almost never true. Love doesn’t just evaporate.
It gets killed—slowly, painfully—by stress, disconnection, and unmet needs.

Let’s talk about how it happens—and how to fix it. 🧵 Most marriages don’t end from lack of love.
They end from exhaustion.
One person needs more closeness to feel secure.
The other needs space to feel safe.

And neither one knows how to ask for it without triggering the other.

A safe relationship is one where you don’t feel like you have to shrink.

But what is emotional safety?
What does it look like?
And how do you know it’s real—especially if you’ve never experienced a truly safe relationship, not even in childhood?

Let’s go down the rabbit hole 🧵 Women often describe emotional safety as "feeling safe."
Men often describe it as "having peace."

But it means the same thing deep down:
That you will not be attacked, abandoned, rejected, or betrayed when your guard is down. And that you can finally relax your nervous system.

Men don’t fear commitment. They fear committing to someone who won’t respect them.

Big difference.

Let’s talk about it 🧵 You’ve heard it a hundred times:
“Men are afraid of commitment.”

But here’s what no one talks about—Most men WANT to commit.
They want to lead. They want to provide. They want to build.
But not if they’re going to be punished for it.

When someone sees your triggers and stays anyway—that’s where love begins.

But let’s be clear: This isn’t about tolerating harm.
It’s about being seen in your roughest moments and still being treated like someone worth growing with. Love isn’t the absence of discomfort.
It’s the presence of accountability, safety, and care while you’re learning to soften the rough edges.
True love says: “I see your wounds. I won’t excuse them. But I won’t shame you either.”

This is fascinating data on loneliness and how American men and women are spending their time. And the differences are stark. Let’s dissect this data and what it means: 🧵 First, notice women have nearly double the average number of hours per day with their children that men do. This should be no shock to anyone, but it is a harsh reminder that fathers are getting a lot less time with their kids (for a variety of reasons), so that time is precious.

Signs you might have quiet disorganized attachment:
– You feel invisible but overburdened
– You say yes when you mean no
– You freeze up around conflict
– You overperform but feel alone

People think you’re fine.
But you’re not. Here's why:🧵 You weren’t taught how to connect safely.
You were taught to:
– Avoid rocking the boat
– Be useful, not needy
– Serve without asking

So you disappear into your relationships and call it loyalty.

You work hard. You show up. You handle business.
You’re “the nice guy” everyone can count on.

But secretly:
You never feel like enough.
Not at work. Not in love. Not even with yourself.

Let’s talk about why. 🧵 You second-guess every move.
You replay conversations.
You look confident on the outside—
but inside, you’re terrified people will realize you’re just barely holding it together.
Imposter syndrome isn’t a phase.
It’s your daily reality.

Let’s talk about the rarest and most painful attachment style a woman can have.

You’ve probably never heard of it.
Because these women never complain.
Never ask for help.
And never let anyone in.

It’s called quiet disorganized attachment style. 🧵 She was the smart, quiet one growing up.
Polite.
High-achieving.
No drama.
Everyone thought she was fine.
Inside?
She was in constant panic.
Overthinking every word, every movement, every silence.
Until her system shut down in a freeze response she didn’t understand.

🔥 BREAKING NEWS: People-pleasing isn’t kindness. It’s slow self-destruction.

You smile, nod, and say “I’m fine.”

But inside, you’re disappearing.

Romantic success? Impossible.

A thread 🧵 2/ From childhood, you were trained to survive by pleasing others:

🙃 Smile when you want to cry
🙊 Stay quiet to avoid rejection
🙋‍♂️ Say yes when your soul screams no

You thought this made you lovable.
But all it made you was invisible.