Why are an estimated 40% of men neurochemically incapable of feeling loved?

Something about modern life is activating a specific survival adaptation that turns off men's ability to experience the neurochemical markers for feeling loved by others.

Here's what's happening... Men have the ability to shift their brain chemistry to respond to hard times and bad environments. This shift happens in childhood based on experiences that shape how you perceive the world to function.

Hard and lonely childhood can lead to a different brain.

Here's how...

Men, if you don't understand your wife's desires, she's never going to desire you.

Here's what you need to know to drive her libido through the roof: Even most women don't understand how their own sex drive works. They can make vague statements about feeling "safe" and "close to you" but they can't measure what that means or give a clear pattern to follow.

Most men get lost here.

This is what you need to know:

Too many men live in quiet desperation, cohabiting like roommates with a wife who grows more angry and critical as time passes.

Facing a deteriorating relationship with your spouse can feel like a never-ending battle. It can even feel hopeless.

Here's how to fix it:🧵 Most husbands around the world share a common goal: to mend their relationship and rekindle the warmth and affection that once was.

Yet, no matter how hard they try to break through their wife's armor, their efforts seem only to add fuel to the fire of blame.

This is because...

What do women want from men? 🤔

There IS an answer. And it's not what you'd expect.

Most single men today have NO CLUE how to answer this question. So I'm going to make this simple for any man looking to attract a loyal and passionate woman.

Here's what women want from you: 🧵 In my clinical experience, women want FOUR THINGS from men. My 15 years of experience in Psychology as a therapist/coach as well as my 15 years of happy marriage prove they're true.

When I speak with women in private, these 4 things are what they reveal they NEED for attraction.

The wife feels lonely and sad, but the husband has no idea why. They love each other but don't like each other anymore.

This is by far the most common married couple who comes to me for help. And there's a specific reason this is happening.

Here's the reason: There's a hidden relationship dynamic playing out in about 50% of adults:

Growing up in families that didn't teach the vital skills needed to maintain a functioning romance has led to generations of adults who can't maintain a marriage and make it thrive.

Here's why:

Approximately 33% of lottery winners go bankrupt within 5 years.

39% of first marriages end in divorce.

Both are a skill issue. Even if you get what you hope for, in this case a loving partner, you need skills to make things work.

Here are the you need to keep romance alive: 1. Conflict resolution.

In a recent survey of divorced individuals, 43% said they found it impossible to solve problems with their partner.

Conflict resolution is a set of skills you SHOULD learn as a child based on how your parents negotiate with you.

Or you MUST learn now.

What the NUMBER ONE reason I see LTRs and marriages break up?

In my clinical experience as an LMFT and now as a relationship coach, the same problem keeps breaking apart couples who WANT TO STAY TOGETHER.

And that problem is... That one or both partners lack the COMMUNICATION SKILLS needed to resolve issues, share their needs, compromise on important issues, and ultimately WORK AS A TEAM.

They end up loving each other but not LIKING each other. Their brains flag the other person as an ENEMY.

And...

A lot of otherwise loving couples are facing hard times right now.

The winter season puts huge strain on your connection. Small cracks or gaps in your relationship will split open. Fighting increases. Intimacy disappears.

If this is you, here's what's happening: 🧵 Wintertime decreases your serotonin and melatonin. This means your sleep gets a bit worse and your mood goes down. That's normal for mammals and is linked to less sunlight, among other environmental factors.

But there are several factors you can control which make a huge impact.

Should you get married fast or slow if you want to avoid divorce later?

The research on this is fascinating, and if you want to connect with a partner and make it last, here are some stats you should know - Plus what they mean for you and how to maximize your chances

Thread🧵 A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who dated for approximately 25 months before marriage were significantly more likely to have a stable and happy marriage.

Building a foundation DOES matter, but it is necessarily the time that matters?

Ugly Psychology truths no one wants to admit.

I worked for many years as a licensed psychotherapist, and these are some of the harshest realities that people refuse to talk about. Let’s get in some trouble.

1 retweet = 1 harsh truth, so keep the chain going. Male depression and female depression often present very differently, and they also tend to heal differently. But most therapy modalities are really only geared to help women recover. Many can actually make men more depressed.

Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death for American men

77% of suicides are men

Male depression is spiraling out of control & they're escaping their pain the only way they know how

I've worked mental health for 15 years & here are 15 harsh facts about male depression

👇🧵 1

Male depression comes down often to learned helplessness, meaning they have NO SENSE OF POWER in their life.

Men need power over their
Pain
Fear
Income
Honor
Discipline
And personal sovereignty

When you rob men of power, they feel helpless and worthless in their life.

Married men, are you miserable in your marriage?

Is your wife always mad at you and wish she'd be sweet instead?

Do you feel a divorce is looming but want to save the relationship?

Or are you in the roommate phase and want to rekindle romance?

There's usually 2 culprits: There are 2 outcomes here.

One is that she's a whacko who can't connect with you, and you need that find that out.

The other is that she's an otherwise loving woman but something is missing in your connection.

Here's how to tell...

6 secret signs you're in a fake relationship and don't know it.

So many of you are facing this reality right now and haven't realized it yet.

So here are the 6 signs you need to know and why they matter. 🧵 What's a fake relationship? Let's define this first...

A fake relationship is one based not on authentic connection but on the temporary feelings you give each other.

There's no loyalty, no deep bonding. It's all waiting to fall apart.

You'll see what I mean, starting with...

If the red pill community is so correct, why so miserable?

Men are flooding into my coaching after years of unhappiness and now trying to overcome the redpill lies.

Here are some harsh truths about why the redpill teachings don't work (and lead so many men to misery). Lie #1: All women are just waiting for a better man to come along and are incapable of loyalty.

If you're taught that every potential romantic partner is a sociopath, no wonder you're miserable. It's a bald lie, but many men get burned once and believe this all too easily.

Harsh truths about limiting your partner - When it's OK and when it's not.

Or, Why Jonah Hill might be right.

Buckle up for this thread and prepare to be angry: For context: Jonah Hill's ex has leaked some DMs which she claims are abusive and misogynistic. Are they?

The conversation shows Jonah laying out what he's not OK with in a relationship.

Some women take this as control.

Some men are saying he has the right to set boundaries.

Ugly Psychology truths no one wants to admit.

I worked for many years as a licensed psychotherapist, and these are some of the harshest realities that people refuse to talk about. Let’s get in some trouble.

1 retweet = 1 harsh truth, so keep the chain going. Bonus third reason: the woman is usually the only reason they are in the room, and she is desperately trying to connect with the therapist, and the therapist wants to keep them as clients, so encourages her as the “good one” to get them coming back multiple times

Men, if a girlfriend or wife has ever said, "Talk to me!" and you had no idea what to say

And later she cried or got mad that you "won't talk to me"

Here's why that happens and a foolproof method to communicate the way she wants, based on my 15 years' training & experience

🧵 First we need to talk about male and female brains.

Male brains like to observe problems (back) then solve them (front). So they move backward to forward.

Female brains like to make connections and see relationships. So they observe (back) then cross the hemispheres a LOT

Therapist: What do we say to our loved ones as they get to know us better?

Client: You’re in the jungle, baby, you’re gonna die.

Therapist: No. Client: This is my therapy porcupine. He’s practice for when I get in a relationship.

Therapist: But it’s impossible for you to get close to him without pain.

Client: [sobbing] That’s my type.

HOW THE FEMALE SEX DRIVE WORKS

I often coach couples who are struggling to connect on an emotional and physical level. One common issue that comes up is a lack of understanding about how the female sex drive works. Below are 5 tips I share with them.

Many people assume that… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… So, how can couples increase oxytocin together to boost the female sex drive? Here are a 5 science-backed strategies:

Physical touch. As mentioned, oxytocin is released during physical touch. Therefore, cuddling, hugging, and other forms of non-sexual touch can increase oxytocin… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Men, if a girlfriend or wife has ever said, "Talk to me!" and you had no idea what to say

And later she cried or got mad that you "won't talk to me"

Here's why that happens and a foolproof method to communicate the way she wants, based on my 15 years' training & experience

🧵 First we need to talk about male and female brains.

Male brains like to observe problems (back) then solve them (front). So they move backward to forward.

Female brains like to make connections and see relationships. So they observe (back) then cross the hemispheres a LOT

The dumbest reasons couples fight

(and the secret problems those fights really reveal)

Thread 🧵 "You spend too much time doing X." (playing games, on phone, working, shopping, etc.

The secret problem: You want more time together but don't know how to ask for it, schedule it, or don't think you'll get it.