IG: @ arieldumaspubicaccount - Head Writer and Supervising Producer for @colbertlateshow
Sep 5 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
I have been told to stop stealing muffins from the bakery. Unfortunately, it’s the only way to keep my lucrative muffin stand in business. Everyone is fine with this.
Many large investors are interested in my muffin stand, because I have promised them the magic of muffins without costly ovens or workers. This, you see, is why I must keep stealing the muffins.