"Things I Overheard at Tiffany Trump’s Wedding Today" 🧵
Donald: “I want to make a toast to Ivanka’s sister. This is such a happy day. Almost as happy as the day I became President. Wow, that day makes every other day seem really insignificant, doesn’t it? YUGE WIN! Much bigger win than Ron Duh Satanist's and it was stolen from me...”
Aug 7, 2020 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Thanks to a helpful tip, I have identified Jerry Falwell, Jr.’s yacht. It is called “Wheels.” Comparing the photo Falwell posted and a photo on the boat’s website, the unzipped photo was taken in a bedroom.
“Wheels” rents for $200,000/week, but the Falwell family uses it for free because Liberty University gives money to its owner, NASCAR’s Rick Hendricks. boatinternational.com/charter/luxury…
Jan 8, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
CASHIER TONIGHT AT GROCERY STORE: "Have a blessed day!"
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ME: "And you have a fucking, goddamn blessed day too, honey!"
"Have a BLESSED day" is America's favorite form of passive-aggressive proselytizing.