Wedding trails part V: the day

So Amanda & i are now single digit days away from our special day & i thought i would share some of the details of how that is going to look for all of you who sadly can't be with us - surprisingly we will be doing a few things a little differently Food Trucks i think is one of the big ones. Weddings are frikkin expensive and both of us thought about doing what we can so we don't break the bank while still keep the day special... and because we are both old and have all the things [2 sets of most of the things] we decided..

Wedding trails part III: Twas a Leaping year...

So 2024 was a Leap Year and the significance of a Leap Year is that traditionally it is the opportunity for the girl to ask the guy to marry her... which is what happened to/with me last year...

Although, to be fair... i did spend an awful lot of last year reminding Amanda that it was a Leap Year, just in case, well, you know...

But part of that felt like a bit of an insurance policy for me, because i knew slightly earlier on than she did and so it kept me from doing anything extreme...

i wrote a Twitterer thread this morning about the death of a guy who quite seriously trolled me on social media about two years ago and because i think i wrote about a bunch of that on here, i will share it: Many of you may have heard this past week that Wian Hattingh was found dead in his apartment. For those of you who may not know who he was, he was the guy who seriously and chaotically trolled me on here about two years ago and probably the most vile human i have engaged with...

On this Women's Day i renew my commitment to interrupt situations where women are being insulted, harassed or interrupted, to reflect on my presence as a man & what it might communicate to a woman who doesn't know me, & to work with the men i know & encounter to be and do better. The daily #NotOnOurWatch commitment i make with regards to women means i will do my best not to stand by when any form of injustice happens to a woman or women in front of me, both online and offline, but will speak up or act in a way that announces "This is not okay!"

There are many versions of this, but the hope is that all of them cause us to pause, get us thinking and hopefully asking better questions, and then taking some kind of action with our time, money, resources, voice. So the picture before without this one only tells part of the story, especially in South Africa where the gap between rich and poor is so so so huge and the majority of people on top of the high tower probably imagine it is closer to the original image above...

What is an important lesson you have learned in life that might not seem obvious to some or that came a little later than it should have? Here are a few of mine that come to mind: [1] Learn how to say "No!" to good things. To be honest, this one feels like it has to be relearned again and again. Saying No to a bad thing is somewhat easy but knowing your limits and capacity means often saying No to a good thing which is okay.

Why are you getting so angry? Um, probably because we're losing [i hate losing!] So what is your contribution? Okay, i will try a little harder and be a little bit more involved in defence as well as attack. [Ja, full blown conversation happening scattered in between points] Then a friend of mine who i knew from years ago when i was in Stellenbosch happened to be walking by and asked what was going on and within a minute or two had joined us for her first game of Ultimate Frisbee so that felt like a win...

Just got back from a meeting with a handful of pastors in Philippi, you know another of "those areas" that are only known for one or two things outside of them and yet what an incredible time we had together. i was there to chat about Fathers Matter and they are wholeheartedly on board and already making plans to spread the word and gather significant leaders so that we can have great impact [and actually Nyanga and Crossroads and a third place were also represented!]. But what was more striking to me was the stories i got to hear from that area...

So i had a goal disallowed today cos i got a last second touch to the ball that got smashed into the D and the ref didn't think i touched it but felt it on my stick, but we managed to still win 3-1 against the league leaders so that feels good. Managed to keep my cool for the most part which is always a challenge and key goal of mine, despite having a gut a head taller have his face a cm from mine calling me a "Doos" after he had run into me in the D. He came and apologized for "being offensive" after the game...

It's impossible to swim in sewage and not come out smelling like crap [a thread]... there has been a lot of angry or defensive pushback to this idea that there might still be work for white people to do around racism... What i struggle to understand is the mindset that seems to be scared of this process as opposed to honestly assessing the situation and embracing the invitation to be and do better.

A "Can't we just move on and stop talking about race" thread. No. No, we can't. When the bedrock of the foundations of a country are the racism brought in by colonisation & cemented into law by an apartheid government & the consequences of the systems and structures put in place to maintain that enforced inequality & hate are still in play.