HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! a quick thread about marriage.

*this picture is from 2005, the day Candice and I eloped, got married in a Texas courthouse without telling anyone. we had gone on our first date just 3 weeks prior. Marriage can be absolutely brutal. its work all the time. anyone who says otherwise is a fucking liar. Sharing every aspect of your life with another human is unnatural and requires relearning how to live.if you can do all that then you win. a life shared is a life lived

my flip-phone now has Apple FindMy™️ capability process involved scoring the flip-phone and airtag to prepare for plastic weld

view from the top. @Dannmace & @LoganPaul taking the hard way down

on another flight. long one. i’m all alone but have wi-fi so if you wanna chat about stuff and keep me company jump on in the thread there were about 700 movies to choose from. i decided to watch Donny Darko for the 50th time. it’s a perfect movie. flawless film.

any English majors out there? I heard someone use ‘cocksure’ in a sentence and it sounded awesome and smart and badass but I’m not sure I understand it’s usage vs just saying ‘sure’. I want to be cocksure I’m suing it properly (that seems right, right?) I should probably get a job or something

ROAD TRIP THREAD - 4:52am Los Angeles California. quick 550 miles with 🐐 @candicepool this is a romantic birthday getaway and we were supposed to fly (flights booked, rental car reserved etc) but, like a petulant child, I woke up and decided I didn’t want to go to the airport and insisted we drive.

🚙 TRAVEL THREAD 🚙
6:30am Friday August 27,2021. my solo journey from the very most eastern point of the US to the most western. sad to be leaving. this was the greatest summer of my life

its been about 4 years since i stopped carrying a wallet. credit card holder cell phone case with 1 credit card and drivers license and i tuck a 20 or 100 between the case and phone for cash only emergencies. a wallet is a place for things to collect. i was still carrying my fake ID from when i was 15/. most cards (insurance, AAA, etc) i just keep a picture of in my phone.

look at this seal. look a little closer

🚨TRAVEL THREAD🚨 I’m driving from Los Angeles to Massachusetts, about 3200 miles (5150km), and will be sharing my journey here in one gigantic thread.
—June 12, 2021 4:52AM trip begins— I deleted my original tweet announcing this trip because I wrote the wrong date in the tweet and that typo would’ve cast a dark shadow over this adventure

so at the start of pandemic (March 2020) i bought enough Nutella to survive an apocalypse on Nutella alone. some of that Nutella is now starting to expire and i've made a very interesting discovery.... Nutella well passed its expirey date doesnt make me sick (might make others sick tho so proceed w caution) BUT it does harden slightly. my old Nutella rather than being a silky smooth chocolate goo is more like dense drywall putty. AND ITS FANTASTIC...

does anyone want to take over the lease on my Tesla Model 3 Performance?
-17 months left on lease.
-$769.38 monthly payment
-NO option for buyout
-25k miles left on lease (thats a lot)
more info in thread its a truly great car (maybe my fav ever) but we have a minivan for family vehicle and i only really need a big surf truck to beat on and haul my gear so i just dont drive this enough to justify having it (in 19 months ive put only 5k miles on it)

took this video tonight. Venice, California around 7pm. this is Lincoln Blvd and Flower street. I used to live 4 blocks from here. there have been a lot of fires in LA that are linked to homeless encampments. its a dangerous situation for all parties (the homeless and nearby property owners). i see these kinds of fires often -- abc7.com/venice-fire-la….

12 years ago today! @grahamveysey and i at Obama's inauguration. we were a few hundred rows back and it was freezing out AND we had on HUGE winter coats but we both wore ties because the occasion called for it

this photo was taken in Los Angeles in 2021

credit - instagram.com/alleyesonmela why share a photo like this; short answer is that im not sure why. i guess after traveling to and working in LA for 15 years i moved here and only after moving here started to understand the scope of the homeless crisis.. so to share a photo is to share some of that

four years ago 🎅 some untold details about this video. for starters it cost *several million dollars to produce (million)

does anyone in the LA area want this ridiculously over sized bean bag? I bought it without fully comprehending it’s insane size. Candice is threatening divorce if I don’t get rid of it post-haste. READ ENTIRE THREAD BEFORE REPLYING You will need a pick up truck to haul this thing. It will not fit in a car. Maybe MAYBE a full sized suv like a suburban. won’t fit in a minivan. No way.

can someone compare functionality of the Duo to the Samsung Fold? im a big fan of folding and want something thats btween a phone and laptop but needs to be super useful

https://twitter.com/ijustine/status/1293584468976873472

reading my own tweet back to myself. i dont need this, i dont need anymore gadgets.. this wont make me happy or my life more complete

so I spent $60 on this sweet new surfing band for my Apple Watch. Yesterday beaches opened, I went surfing and on my FIRST WAVE the Velcro comes undone. fancy expensive Apple Watch gone.. Ive surfed w the regular apple sport band for the last year and it’s never come off or even come loose. lesson learned; if it ain’t broke don’t fix it no matter how cool the other band looked.

if you’re not interested in a really long thread about making lasagna you should mute me post haste WELCOME TO CASEY COOKS LSAGNA!

I'm in the hospital. nothing too serious. a thread 🏥 - about a year ago I had an appendicitis. I really didn't want to deal with surgery so I treated it with antibiotics, understanding there was a likelihood it would return. last night it decided to return