Dedicated to my darling friend. (You know who you are)
Last week a dear friend and I were chatting.
We both revealed to each other a very big thing.
We are both struggling with depression.
I can’t speak for my awesome friend’s symptoms, but mine involves panic attacks.
Attacks so great...I fear I am dying. ☠️💀☠️💀
I wake in the middle of the night convinced I’m suffering an embolism. That I have mere minutes to live and all the things I’ve hoped to achieve will be gone. I’ll be dead, lost in obscurity. Never to be remembered, never having achieved anything. All my dreams lost.
Are the Australian Adult Industry Awards rigged?
On Wednesday night the Australian Adult Industry Awards were held. A function that claims to recognise the best in our industry. And on Thursday the usual complaints began that the awards are rigged.
Let’s take a look
Full disclosure here.
I was nominated for 4 awards. I didn’t nominate myself for any of these awards although you can nominate yourself. Nominations for Alpha and Industry Ambassador really took me by surprise. I didn’t win.
I’m not bitter in the least.
It’s really true what they say. It’s an honour that someone nominated me. I feel touched that whoever did thought I deserve some recognition. That was very nice of you whoever you are, thank you.
I had fun that night, many people there did.
If you’ve been a provider for even a short length of time you’ve had a prospective client ask for photos. Regardless of the fact you may have lots of photos in your advertising, this client wants more.
When you ask them why the 10 or so photos on your ads plus the selfies you place on social media aren’t enough they tells you they’ve “been fooled before”
What they are referring to is something called “catfishing”
We’ve all seen the MTV show.
Person A meets person B online but when they finally meet, person B isn’t who they said they were.
So catfishing in sex work is when the photos in the advertisement don’t match the sex worker in person.
1) I’ve been every dress size between 6 and 18 in my life. I’m sitting comfortably at a 12-14 now.
As The Beauty Myth stated 30 years ago...a generation of starving women cannot fight back.
Women obsessing about everything they eat can not stage a revolution.
2) I’m a very beautiful women. Not only physically attractive, I’m smart, accomplished and highly intelligent. You won’t find a more loyal, faithful, passionate person than me.
I refuse to be classified in life by what dress size I wear.
3) Female slavery comes in many different ways. If you refuse to conform to the bullshit propaganda that only the size of your body equals your worth then the world WILL have to change.
Be proud of yourself. Be proud of your shape and size.
Watching the to-do about Prince Andrew and Fergie is hysterical. It shows how people don’t really look at facts but are happy to believe any old shit they are told.
How many fabulously wealthy eligible still decent looking PRINCES do you know who flat mate with the ex?
Yes....sharing a household for 20 plus years for the sake of children long grown up and moved away.
Not only do they “share” a house but they always holiday together. Because divorced people LOVE to holiday together right?
Oh yes best friends. The happy exes. Doing the right thing for their kids yes?
So riddle me this Batman...how come in this entire time neither of them have ever dated anyone else?
(Don’t come at me with rumours of dating, actual hard collated evidence of other partners please)
1) Okay. So if you haven’t noticed I’m a REALLY big James a bond fan. Thinking about recasting Bond has started me thinking about my perfect fantasy cast for the next film. No get it out of your head! It’s not going to be Idris Elba. people.com/movies/idris-e…
2) When Bond is recast it will be a total shake up of the brand. In the past they’ve carried over some casting to keep continuity. I suspect that this new reboot will throw the baby out with the bath water. So don’t expect to see ANYONE from the old cast. Like Spider-Man
3) Firstly the film title and story.
No Casino Royale rehash here. Bond is moving into the future.
BUT some things remain the same, all films are based on books.
It’s likely to be Risico or Seafire
An outside shot at Zero Minus Ten
I told you I know my Bond...
1) Monday morning. Going to your job. Sometimes it’s dull and repetitive. Sometimes it’s frustrating yes? You like some parts of your job more than others. Maybe it’s the people you work with, maybe it’s the monotony. Maybe it’s just that you’d rather have stayed in bed today.
2) Now imagine if you had impossible pressure placed on you to ALWAYS be happy in your job. Always empowered and fulfilled from it and at no point ever could you complain or let your guard down. At all times you must smile and trill about the joys of your job....
3) Because if you don’t. Your profession and livelihood will be yanked away from you. Your opportunity to pay bills, feed your kids and save for your retirement...gone
1/3 Sex workers are an easy target for politicians, for antis and for moral reversionists. Why?
Sex workers lead double lives.
Working names and secrets make life a complicated juggle. We try to protect our clients, our families, our friends.
2/3 Illegal or controlled frameworks make it even harder for us to have a voice. Make it harder for us to speak up when sometimes it’s a struggle for us just to put one foot in front of another.
Politicians trying to get votes with lies about us...
Antis trying to sell books...
3/3 Moral reversionists trying to suppress women’s rights through twisted lies about our choice to do this work.
NONE of these people want to help sex workers. They want to PROFIT from us.
And we know this. Right? @SarahChampionMP
Being a white sex worker I suspect is a little like playing in the sandbox of oppressed minority. I can always dust myself off and leave unlike my POC brothers and sisters and my trans brothers and sisters.
And I’d like if I can to use that privilege for good rather than evil. Because I’ve had the benefit of being white, and receiving an excellent education and living on 3 continents growing up. I’ve had more privilege than most white people to be perfectly honest.
I remember when I turned 10 (these were the good old days when kids could visit a pilot in the cock pit) and we flew somewhere and I received an award from United Airlines for circumnavigating the globe twice before my 10th birthday.
I know that people make Gilead jokes about the current climate of women’s rights. Read the Handmaids Tale we are already pretty close to this eventuality. Reproductive rights, incels, backlash against sex work and porn. It didn’t even take worldwide infertility to make it happen.
Sure we won’t probably end up with Handmaids But we will end up with women losing rights May westerners want to hate on Muslims for denying women’s right and then turn and deny ‘Christian’ women rights. Abortion, the morning after pill, choosing your sexual partner, rape culture.
As in the book it started with a backlash against porn and sex work. And that backlash was lead by hysterical feminists who could not, would not listen to reason, that some people CHOOSE to do sex work. Some people CHOOSE to do porn. And we have that right.
Gratuity. To tip or not to tip, that is the question.
It’s always a complicated thing right? Anywhere you go in a country like Australia or the UK where tipping is not the done thing how do you know what to do?
How much should you tip in a restaurant or a bar? When should you tip and when shouldn’t you tip? It’s seems a mine field for many.
For countries where gratuity is not a form of etiquette and social custom it can be hard to understand its purpose and the reasoning behind it.
When it comes to tipping a sex worker it seems even more complicated. What if a provider won’t accept your tip? Some won’t. How much should you tip? When should you tip? Before a service or after?
These are all valid questions and I’ll try to help you out.
First and foremost I’d like to give a shout out to the BRILLIANT word whorearchy. As a person with a passion for words (why yes, I did use behooves in a recent tweet, thank you for noticing) I love a pun, a play on words and especially completely new words.
Whorearchy is a word that’s used to describe elitism within the sex industry. Merging whore and hierarchy to create a unique word describing something that permeates every section of our industry.
Basically if we boiled it down to one simple sentence it is this:
Whorearchy is the self perpetuated class system of sex work, dividing those with privilege and those without.
Nice Story Dude.....
An investigation into the psychological disorder of a Time Waster.
( Dr Charlotte is IN)
A Time Waster, (TW for short) in case you didn’t know is a person who wastes the valuable time of a sexworker making false enquiries or making false bookings with zero intention of following through.
All sales jobs have tyre kickers, people who make enquiries about your product but for one reason or another, never purchase
That’s just part and parcel of sales
But a TW in sex work is something quite different
They are not a tyre kicker.
They are a species all to their own.
That’s my right as a human being. To choose my job, right?
I am a sex worker by choice.
And I know you’re going to hate to hear this.
But so are MOST workers
I’m not going to talk about a minority of trafficked workers where there is absolutely NO definitive data or studies on their existence or possible struggle. Because I’m no more qualified than anyone else to discuss the legitimacy of this claim.
(For the clients)
WHEN A CLIENT DEVELOPS FEELINGS FOR AN ESCORT
Yes this happens.
Sometimes clients fall for their escort.
Not all the time mind you. Just sometimes.
Let’s have a serious chat.
Take a seat.
This has again just recently happened to a client of mine. And it makes me sad. Really sad. 😔 I liked this client, I liked our time together. He was nice and I enjoyed his company. But then he caught the feels. And that’s sad. He thinks he’s in love with me. But he’s not.
You’ve been seeing an escort for a little while now. A few visits. You enjoy her company, she’s beautiful. You feel amazing when you’re with her, almost invincible. The sex of course is great, perhaps you’re trying new things you’ve never tried before.
How to shower before a booking with your escort.
Your escort has lead you to the shower. Yes, they wish you to use it. No, this isn’t optional.
Are you ready sir? Let’s shower up.
1. Take off ALL your clothes and use the hooks and hangars provided, if not fold neatly. Preferably away from any possible water run.
Trust me, returning to your clothes neatly folded will make it easier to dress in the daze you will inevitably be in after your booking.
2. Once naked, turn on shower.
Yes it’s those knobs there, turn them on. Yes, go on. Not too hot now, you don’t want to scald yourself. No....a bit hotter than luke warm please, we have germs to kill.
Spamming sex workers.
Why it’s NEVER a good idea
Nope...not ever. Nope not even then. Nope. No. NO!
Once again, I open my emails to see a bunch of photographers and video makers wanting to take my photograph because I’m so (ahem) beautiful.
Even worse, many of these emails have been sent through adverting contact pages.
So basically I’m paying to be spammed.
I speak for all sex workers everywhere when I say if you have a business and you think you want to target it to sex workers. Great.
But please, please, please, please don’t send as unsolicited emails, direct messages or texts.
Don’t. No DON’T!
Loyalty. It seems a strange concept these days. To choose to be loyal to a person, or an ideal/ concept/ belief in the face of adversity has clearly gone out of fashion.
I’ve read toomuch Austen, fallen asleep clutching Bronte novels, aspired to the ideals of Hosseini...
This dog eat dog world, where everyone is out for themselves and no one stands up for their friends. It’s heartbreaking how we have lost one of the most fundamental and important ideals of humanity.
I was taught as a child loyalty was a fundamental trait of a disciplined person. That to invest your loyalty in a person or a belief was a leap of your character and a gift to the person who received it. That loyalty, even misplaced loyalty made you a better person