It's so self-evident to me that this man needs to be dethroned at once by any means necessary that it's truly difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that 40% of my country approves of him because of just this sort of behavior, which they see as "real" and "refreshing."
I remember ten years ago hearing about people like Kim Jong-Il, Putin, or Ahmadinejad making declarations like this and wondering how anyone could cope with living in a country with such a leader. Well, here we are.
What you do is drink more often and gawk helplessly.
Among transphobic LGBs (and the right-wing divide-and-conquer strategists who incite them) there’s this “drop the T” idea that’s justified by claiming that since being trans is not a sexual orientation, LGB(T) is not a “natural community.”
The opposite is true.
If “natural” means what occurs organically, then the natural communities are these:
1 Gay cis men, gay trans men, trans women who remain in their gay male social group
2 Cis lesbians, trans lesbians, trans men who remain in their lesbian social group
These are the communities that already exist. Both are much more “natural” than the L and G grouping, which is often largely a matter of political utility.
I can’t stand to watch even ten seconds of my old videos because gender dysphoria. So I’m now in the weird situation that my fans know my backlog better than I do.
Sometimes people will quote one of my own videos to me and I’ll be like, “that’s funny, who said that?”
I guess I’m uncomfortable that people still watch my old videos alongside my new ones. New viewers sometimes watch the backlog in no particular order, leaving them with the impression that I’m a genderfluid genderfuck rather than a trans woman.
The minute Trump was elected most of us knew that whole groups of people would be treated as less than human, that there would be internment camps, that families would be ripped apart. Well, it's happening now and we're watching it happen. time.com/5314826/border…
Are we just going to watch? What else can we do? I feel so helpless but I also can't stand not saying something about it.
Here's all the ideas I have:
1 Start by posting and reposting the footage. At the very least let's not let them pretend it isn't happening. Everyone should be reminded every day.
Got my new ID today with my real name and updated picture!
Looking forward to not being gawped at/laughed at/puzzled over every time I have to show ID. Seems like a little thing I know but it's a big confidence boost. I won't have to pregame drinking anymore. And that's the difference.
So when I fly to VidCon next week I'm gonna walk into the airport purse first, whip out that new ID and say ONE TICKET FOR NATALIE PLEASE CAUSE I'M A MOTHERFUCKIN WOMAAAN
When I was playing Adria I realized, huh I could probably actually pull off the futch look if I wanted to.
It doesn't feel right for me though. It makes me feel useful, dressing like that, like I could get things done. I don't like feeling useful, I like feeling ornamental.
She was a fun character to create though. Originally I had written her more like Saul—impotent, flustered, victimized. But I decided the video was too grim and needed a badass transbian rhapsodizing about girldick to sustain audience morale.
I regret that thread I posted yesterday. I keep promising to stop but I never learn. The problem with Twitter is you're constantly faced with the dangerous temptation to philosophize. Fuck that. IG is good clean fun, let's all move there.
If I were a better edgelord I wouldn't cycle through these ridiculous loops of recklessness and remorse. I'm not a "fuck your feels" person, I get upset when other people are upset. I can't handle confrontation and I hate arguing on the Internet. Wait why is this my job?
I don't know what is with this spasm of reactionary conformist angst I've been experiencing the last few months. I feel bad because I know a lot of you guys actually like me because I'm queer and just fucking weird.
Disclaimer: Ok so yes, I am aware that "pizza" is a code-word for human trafficking victims according to the right-wing "Pizzagate" conspiracy theory. I renounce this theory, which I did not intend to reference, and I apologize to those who were hurt and/or confused.
I'm also aware that pizza consumed in the US is a bastardization of indigenous Neapolitan culinary tradition, and that the domination of big American chain restaurants is a form of cultural violence that is erasing this tradition along with many others.
Now that the video's been out long enough for people to watch it and interpret it in their own way, I want to say what I think about Tiffany Tumbles. Who is she and why is she like this?
A lot of people interpreted her as a parody of one specific person. And while obviously there were a couple digs at Blaire in there, Tiffany is not Blaire, and to me she represents a totally commonplace pattern of thinking and acting.
Someone sent me this IG post from a trans woman who recognized her own behavior in the video. And in my experience this is actually so common it's basically a stage a lot of trans women go through (a few never get over it).
[CW transphobia, dysphoria, general human folly]
I've been experiencing a pretty severe return to dysphoria lately, and I know I'm not supposed to tweet, but I don't see many people talking about this outside Dark Side spaces, and that makes me lonely, so fuck it, I'm tweeting.
My dysphoria now (at 8 months full-time trans & HRT) is the worst it's ever been. That seems very discouraging at first, because isn't transitioning supposed to fix this? Well, yes, but there's a reason it's gotten worse.
In order for me to start transitioning in the first place, I had to get to a point where I was comfortable with goals that seemed achievable at the time. So my thinking was: "I just want to be more feminine, I don't have to look female to feel good about myself."
Thread 2: The real purpose of having the "dating preferences debate" is often to disguise transphobia as a phony concern for sexual autonomy, feminism, or protecting homosexuality.
This is evident by the sheer volume of people drawn to this discussion who cannot conceal their intense hostility toward trans people—let's name them: TERFs. They're all over my mentions right now like sharks drawn to blood.
Here's how such a person raises this topic to a trans woman:
"How typical of ＭＡＬＥ ＥＮＴＩＴＬＥＭＥＮＴto make the ＲＡＰＥＹ demand that lesbians like ＢＩＯＬＯＧＩＣＡＬ ＭＡＬＥＳ. It's telling of the ＰＡＴＲＩＡＲＣＨＡＬ attitudes inherent in trans ideology."
Necessary preamble: the one and only reason I ever want anybody to fuck me is that they think I'm sexy as hell and are dying to fuck my brains out. I would never ever ever want to have sex with someone who's doing it to "prove they're not a bigot" or establish socjus cred.
I'm not interested in being someone's virtue signal or tentative experiment. I am interested only in being the fire of his her or zir loins.
The first two things you have to understand about the Alt-Right/Lite are that 1 most of their figureheads are obsessed with fame and 2 they lack firm commitments to any actual principles.
Many of the leading Alt-Right/Lite figures don't actually care very much about politics. And they assume that no one else does either—that is, they assume that leftists are just playing the same game they're playing, only on a different team.
Thread 2: The past month's emotional effect on me and why I need to completely rethink my life.
My falling out with a significant portion of my audience in the last month, & especially the last week, has broken my heart. I'm not being melodramatic here: we're talking crying in bed, unable to think about anything else, the whole thing.
(Okay that is melodramatic, but melodrama is the essence of heartbreak.)
I'm at something of a crossroads with respect to my content (I'm mostly known for criticizing the Alt Right, but feel I've said what I have to say on that for now) and my audience/approach (am I an engaging-the-other-side person or a fostering-a-safe-space person?).
The content question is easy. A lot of my audience likes me for my general style and approach, which is adaptable to other topics. And I always have more ideas for videos than I have time to make them.
The audience question is hard. I started my channel with the intention of being like a drunk, gender-confused Dave Rubin, but honest. "I'll be the one who talks to the shitlords, who has those conversations. Fuck it I don't care. I'll do it." I thought.