Ok so one response got close here. I wanted to do it in such a way that I didn't have to wait on any shipping from anywhere else, needed to all be able to be done in one sitting, no waiting other than confirmations.

The final recipe I found that worked for this ↓

https://twitter.com/Diverter_NoKYC/status/1506502609234018304

Spun up Lightning node on my Dojo, paired with Zeus.

Sent .01 postmix utxo to Zeus, opened channel with @paywithmoon.

Spent the sats on a prepaid Visa.

Downloaded @kroger app, added Visa to wallet.

Bought physical Speedway fuel card in Kroger using Kroger Pay in the app. 2/