Several anxious raccoons in a trench coat posing as a senior director of security eng. Be gay, delete prod. they/them/themme fatale/m’theydy oaklandelle@gmail
Nov 16, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
IDK who needs to hear this, but:
This is not what is meant by “technical debt.”
Technical debt is what happens when engineering (and executive) leadership chooses to prioritize net new work over maintaining existing projects.
Tech debt has very little to do with the quality of code at the time of commit, and everything to do with the fact that tech stacks need maintenance under most conditions, and actually need to evolve as usage scales.
Nov 10, 2022 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
“WORK MORE HARDCORE!” I scream at my dwindling staff as I simultaneously define a more and more outlandish product vision while explaining none of their jobs are safe, and they will not be paid for their work.
I am a very Serious, Highly Successful Businessman.
“We’re going to stick it to the entitled elites; they are unworthy! They haven’t earned anything!” I shriek, sitting atop a mound of emeralds given to me by my daddy.
Aug 31, 2022 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Imagine building a bangin’ sound system, and then bragging that literally anyone can use it to broadcast whatever they want as loudly as they desire no matter how vile it is or how many people it hurt, as though that were somehow a virtue.
IDK why so few people seem to understand this, but just because we were all taught to share our toys as kids doesn’t mean you have to hand your doll over to someone who wants to use it as a bludgeon to inflict blunt force trauma on someone else.
Aug 31, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
S2 of the Expanse is way better than S1.
Miller goes the fuck away, and Prax and Bobbie show up. Excellent trade.
Sadly, Holden persists.
Aug 20, 2022 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Self-reporting is predicated on people a) testing, and b) disclosing.
There is not a way to get a randomized data set sufficient to extrapolate meaningful statistics from, and this should not be viewed as an accurate number.
Additional factors which will skew self-reported data:
People who take COVID seriously are both more likely to take precautions to minimize contraction/transmission, AND to test/report. There will be lower infection, higher reporting here.
Jul 13, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Speaking as a hiring manager/org leader:
It is not your job to reject yourself from roles you are interested in/curious about.
I’ll say it again:
It is not your job to reject yourself. EVEN IF you think you might not be qualified.
If you look at a job posting and think, “I could do a lot of that…”
Apply.
If you look at a job posting and think, “I have some experience, but I’m not that senior…”
Apply.
If you look at a job posting and think, “I would have to learn a couple of these things…”
Apply.
Jun 1, 2022 • 124 tweets • 26 min read
Bless the very sweet pet food store employee who asked, “did you have any questions about the cat food?” and was ABSOLUTELY NOT PREPARED for my response of “um, I’m… trying to befriend the neighborhood crows, and also the opossums who hang out in my yard?”
I’ve also taken to carrying unsalted peanuts in my purse, for the crows and ravens.
Just absolutely leaning all the way into being the old witch who lives alone with their plants and befriends the local wildlife.
Feb 6, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
A Twitch stream, but it’s just me puttering around in the kitchen, absent-mindedly singing along to Bonnie Raitt songs
A second Twitch stream, but instead of puttering around in the kitchen, I’m painting in the attic, and instead of Bonnie Raitt, James Taylor
Dec 30, 2021 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Ope, guess I’m gonna spend a chunk of my vacation writing a talk…! 😅
This isn’t what I was expecting when I volunteered to help, and I’m absolutely honored to have been asked. 🥰🖤✨
Look, we are headed into a third calendar year of this shit, and a significant percentage of our setbacks have been directly tied to shitty communication strategy around best practices, compounded by poor leadership and support.
Dec 26, 2021 • 268 tweets • >60 min read
I am curled up on the couch in front of a fire, cozily wrapped in a nice blanket, with bisexual lighting for ambiance, watching The Matrix: Resurrections, with the ability to pause the movie if I need to pee.
I am never going back to theaters. 😅
The concessions stand is better here, too. 😎
Sep 5, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Hi, I am seeing “give vasectomies to all men and reverse them when they prove ready to be parents” arguments in response to anti-abortion legislature and I’m just here to tell you:
That’s a eugenicist take, and eugenics are bad!
Please focus on restoring bodily autonomy to the people having theirs stripped, rather than seeking to deprive a larger segment of the population of their autonomy!
Thanks!
Sep 3, 2021 • 9 tweets • 1 min read
Looking at apartments because I want to move out of mine, and the people showing them keep asking what I do for a living, so I’m coming up with different ways to describe being a security practitioner.
Today was “I get paid to say ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.’”
Another way I’ve described working in security has been “I monetized my anxiety disorder!”
Jun 27, 2021 • 11 tweets • 2 min read
It’s come up in conversation enough times lately that I figured I’d put together a Twitter thread on why I keep wearing masks, despite being fully-vaccinated, and believing that vaccines work.
The short answer: defense in depth.
There is clear evidence that vaccines are effective both at reducing likelihood of infection, and at reducing likelihood of symptoms (and diminishing viral shed) in cases of breakthrough infection! This is great!
So why keep wearing a mask?
Jun 27, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I will never forgive them for what they did to Napster.
My patient was also sprayed, and as they were definitely having a worse day than I was, I prioritized having someone care for their bear mace concerns over my own.
You don’t need to be able to see to apply pressure. 🤷🏼♀️
Jun 6, 2021 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
Because you keep designating us as a “cost center,” and resourcing us accordingly.
Because when security is successful, the result is “nothing happened.”
Because we need to be on point every second of every day, and attackers only need to be lucky once.
Because the root cause of every single incident ever is “human error,” and there are more humans doing not-security than the humans doing security, who are also not infallible, can scale to support.
Because even in well-funded orgs security tends to comprise 2-3% of the company.
I do not have the benefit of having grown up in a Jewish community.
I was 12 years old the first time I was called an antisemitic slur for having the audacity to exist while Jewish in a public space.
12 years old the first time I had to protect my Jewish body from antisemitism.
Apr 27, 2021 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
The problem is, for people who are actually *experiencing* the political dynamics @dhh does not think it is “productive” to discuss, enacting mass-bans on having those conversations means not being able to discuss — or acknowledge — how these things directly impact our work.
Marginalized people are under very literal attack. They not only need to be proactively hearing that it’s okay for them to step away and care for themselves, but their *managers* need to be told to support this.
Promotion panels need to hear it.
Apr 27, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Raise your hand if you work for a company who has offices in locations you cannot safely visit due to your race, sexuality, and/or gender identity.
Fun fact: this is every US tech company with Black employees and an office in San Francisco, because SFPD kills Black people at a rate of 8:1 compared to white people, which is more than double the national rate.
It’s a perfectly mature way to respond to people who think it’s okay for them to opt out of a vaccine for funsies when mass-adoption is needed to prevent the evolution of vaccine-resistant strains of a virus which has already killed over 3 million people globally.
