I don't know shit about anywhere in Texas besides Austin, but here's my thread of working theories:

Amarillo: Reachable by morning

Bastrop: Fires, floods, meth, and Buc-ee's

Beaumont: Place everyone leaves, disses

Boca Chica: Elon Musk town where everyone hates him

(1/6) Burnet: Nobody can pronounce it correctly and/or wants to live there

College Station: Peaked in 1939

Corpus Christi: Means 'Body of Christi'

Dallas: Neon Ft. Worth

Denton: Shittier Lewisville

(2/6)

Austin as the Roy family

Austin Meme #669

50-year-old Austin Guy Starter Pack The fuck you laughing at, Circle C?

The meme that Austin deserves... Any y'all ever wonder why Austin started going downhill right after you got here?🤔

AUSTIN FLOOD ALERT 🌊

Entrance to MoPac from 183 is completely flooded

Use any sneaky workaround you can think of

h/t @bransonHS cc @KXAN_Weather @KUT @KVUE @ChikageWeather @averytomascowx

"The Last Of Us" is about people who were actually born in Austin I mean, 100% Austin amiright?

A Drag Show discussion with your Texas Father-in-Law... I almost did a 10 panel with this one, but then I remembered attention spans

Never change, Austin... I just searched for this on Craigslist and it's not there

So the takeaway appears to be...

🔥⚽️AUSTIN FC TO THE MLS SEMIFINALS ⚽️🔥

Have a great night, Austin

Don't do anything I wish I could do Take my toll lane to celebrate

I'm running a one night Austin FC promotion of no double billing!!

⚠️Dallas Diss Thread Warning⚠️

Austin FC vs FC Frisco tonight to reach the Conference Finals is a perfect time to (again) revisit some of the things that make the Dallas Metroplex the unrivaled punching bag of Texas

Let's go... Let's start this party off with a big Austin shout out to Dallas Tacos!

I wonder if being Mr. Important is a full-time job, or just a do it when you need two shaded parking spaces in a Michael's lot kind of gig FWIW it was well over 100 degrees that particular day last week

It's a perfect day for swimming @ Town Lake! Someone who moved to Austin from Canoga Park in early August...

"That water looks a bit murky, but I know all of you all swim in Lady Bird Barton Springs, so I'm going to take a dip later for Instagram Live (austindood2022)"

The Good News: Your Austin lawn finally got rain

The Bad News: Your Austin lawn is now a decent-sized lake Hey, put a dock in and make it special

RIP Austin Rain Dome *this isn't photoshopped

Please Rain But Don't Flood Austin Prayer Circle

🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯
PLS RAIN BUT
🕯 DON'T FLOOD 🕯
AUSTIN
🕯 🌧 🕯
🕯 🕯 This worked for me with Austin FC

Y'all pls help them find the fucker in the pictures who caused this tragedy and then drove away like a coward

https://twitter.com/Austin_Police/status/1561740356374372352

This is Circle C area

WHY CAN'T TEXAS WEATHER EVER BE CHILL? "We're in a Severe Drought, so how about a bit of rain to ease things and put some water back in the lakes?"

Texas' response:

There's a FLOOD WATCH in Austin right now so I'm sorry to report that HEB has already been picked nearly bare

The good news is that the following items are still available...

*Yak Steak
*Otter Jelly
*Mink Nuggets
*Diet Salt
*Raisin Milk
*Kale Wipes
*Vegan Ferret
*Shark Lung *The Kale Wipes and Vegan Ferret are both gone in Central Austin

Sorry for the confusion

Congratulations, Austin!

All of the brick is painted white Red Brick rn

🔥Worst Drivers in Austin Bracket Contest 2022🔥

It's time to hate vote the taintbags who make y'all miserable on the road

Vote early and often in the polls that will go up periodically in the thread, below

Some are makes, others are models. Too bad, this is a dictatorship (1) BMW vs (16) Camry

The drivers most likely to tailgate like a sociopath on angel dust vs the ones they're probably tailgating