bananas are slightly radioactive. i feel like this gets overlooked a lot. some banana trees can walk (only around 40cm, sure, but it's still WALKING). they're walking radioactive fruit. we're far too relaxed about this. my form teacher when i was 10yo told us bananas were proof that god existed because they come in their own biodegradable packaging, are angled so that they're easy to eat, and are extremely good for us. she failed to mention they're walking radioactive BERRIES.

boris johnson, disturbed by protesters, has

hedged his bets boris johnson was a plant all along