Film Crit Hulk Profile picture
Writing essays! Patreoning. Bylines at Polygon. Observer. Vulture. Verge. EW. New Yorker. Playboy. Thrilllist. Contact: filmcrithulk@gmail.com
Hubert Motley, Jr. Exhausted in 2020😷 🌊🧼✋🏿 Profile picture 2 added to My Authors
19 Mar
I want to open a movie with a dude in a handcuffs with two goons above him-

FREEZE FRAME: "This is me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation?"

Cut to two seconds earlier of him being pulled into room.

HIM: "Yup, dragged in through that door and shoved down."
Might as well talk about story function! The reason people try to use flash-forwards is because it puts a feeling of intensity at the start, a way of saying "don't worry audience, this WILL get exciting!" But not only is that artificial conflict, it often hurts you.
Because what it does is set an expectation in the audiences mind of what to expect. Rather than emotionally being involved in the action of the story, they sit there thinking "Huh I wonder how we'll get back here? It makes it a cerebral experience instead of a dramatic one.
Read 7 tweets
19 Mar
As to why I go so hard on Musk. He doesn't read anything, he doesn't know anything, he's the least understanding of humanity, he blurts out things with no research, and the yet most sure of cocksure of himself of the bunch. Pure unbridled, uncaring myopia. He's a total clown.
To put this in context, he and his team could literally talk to one (1) expert on what's going on right now and go about this. Instead, he's asking "whaaaaaa, which hospitals are short" which is a insipid question, ON TWITTER. Mother-f-er if you wanna help talk to the CDC.
I'll put it this way, when it comes to EVERY ISSUE that pops up on twitter / in society, he instantly becomes THIS GUY and then acts rashly with something mostly counter-productive or calls the people who criticize him pedophiles. Cause he's so mature xkcd.com/793/
Read 3 tweets
17 Mar
THREAD ABOUT FEAR: I’ve been thinking a lot about the events of the last few weeks, particularly the way we all react differently to crisis and warnings, along with the way we bargain with our emotions.
I feel like it’s important to talk about now, because we’ve seen so many different kinds of emotional reactions this week to the news, from disbelief, to panic, to eye-rolling, to jokes, and even to anti-authoritarian medical ignorance.

In truth, all of them stem from fear.
Because everyone has fear in them. It’s a natural emotion, something our body wants us to feel to protect ourselves from danger / keep us alive. And while we can learn to positively engage with fear and build a healthy understanding-

Most of us learn bad ways of handling it
Read 34 tweets
14 Mar
So. Time to catch y’all up on the last 48 hours.

I have virtually no interest in stoking more paranoia. Let’s just call this sharing a laser-focused expression of my personal experience in the current health crisis and the problems of navigating it.
For background, I totally got my flu shot. I’ve also been around people with flu this year and didn’t get sick. And I mention this because… Out of nowhere, Thursday afternoon I started feeling not right.
I felt dizzy and like I couldn't string two thoughts together. And deep down, it was one of those moments where you just know your body is off. That something is different. You really do just know that something isn’t right.
Read 29 tweets
12 Mar
I have a level of rage about all this that is insurmountable. The sheer idiocy, cowardice, ineptitude, deferment, and malaise that has brought us to this current point. It is all encompassing.
It's "storm the gates" level anger. I've felt it for the last four years. But nothing gets people to that. Not here. But it's been unacceptable from day one. And yet, people accept until it's too late.
We're led by the Hollowmen. The Trumps, The Musks, The Zuckerbergs, the empty shells of egotistical men who got to their places of power not through their cunning, nor insight, nor tact, nor grace.

But because they had no character.

And they've let it all come undone.
Read 11 tweets
3 Nov 19
Hey @netflix does your algorithm take it into account when someone wants to simply enjoy the credits after a powerful episode of TV and rapidly goes as fast as they can to hit the "watch credits" button but can't because you only allow takes two seconds so...
@netflix You have to go back to the prior episode menu and literally fast-forward through the episode just to have that moment of enjoying and seeing who did the guest voices, but when you go to pause it hits “next episode” right when it pops up and you literally do this two more times?
@netflix And does the algorithm account for how literally everyone is angry that you cut down the time for this and we’re all just endlessly spinning into a hopeless, constant glut of streaming and lack of choice that we have no autonomy over, but...
Read 11 tweets
12 Oct 19
So... a tiny Robert Forster story. It feels like the right kind of story to tell, but forgive me if I keep some of the details general, it just feels prudent.
I went with a director friend to a special screening of Bob & Ted & Carol & Alice at the New Beverly some years ago. It's one of my favorites and I was so excited to see the new print.
We get there right as the lights go down. We sit and watch. Everyone who had never seen it is tickled pink. The lights come up, we turn around and who is behind us?
Read 14 tweets
10 Sep 19
Me: I'm gonna go to sleep.

40 minutes later, still googling Mcdonald's menus from different countries because you find the different flavor profiles in sandwich ingredients fascinating.
Update: spain has burgers with goat cheese and onion jam.
Italy puts cheese and bacon on the fries and also has and something called "crispy sauce"
Read 21 tweets
27 Aug 19
A THREAD ABOUT "HOT FOOD TAKES"

Yes, this is spurred by the dude who said you shouldn't spritz lime on tacos (and thankfully, got properly owned). But this is much bigger than that, because I see the same problem in "hot food takes" all the damn time...
The reason these takes are inane is because what we're really talking about is lack of understanding in flavor profiles and palates. Thankfully Samin Nosrat did a lot of the starting work for you (go watch her show, I didn't realize how many people didn't know this stuff).
The notion of "flavor" sounds complex, but actually pretty straight-forward thing when you look at it on a macro level. The tongue tastes salt, sweet, sour, bitter, umami - but it also reacts to the use of acid, fats, starches, proteins, and textures.
Read 21 tweets
21 Jul 19
THREAD - As you may have noticed, I'm often hard on the MCU when it comes to storytelling and thematic resonance. I do this because, well, because it's the thing I most like talking about. And there's incredibly valid reasons to really hammer on those fronts.

But...
After yesterday, just when I thought the lumbering party was finally slouching to the finish, I couldn't help but watch that energetic presentation and get a big grin on my face. So I realized that want to look back at the things they do really, really well.
1. Charm and Cast - It sounds so simple "cast charming and likable people and let them be fun!" But one look around at the landscape of other movies and you'll see the way that this intention can easily fall flat. Marvel makes it look easy, but it's NOT easy.
Read 17 tweets
7 Jul 19
There's a lot of filmmakers / storytellers out there with good taste. They like the same stuff we do. They're often good at recreating the feeling of those good things with textures, moods and iconography. This is not to be belittled.

But what they often lack is story sense.
Which is critically important, especially as a story goes on. There eventually has to be this clear idea that things work in set-ups and pay-offs and clear dramatic conflicts, that are all building and moving us as an audience toward specific goals.
When you lack them? It becomes tiring. You re-neg on growth. Character behavior becomes inconsistent. You retread the same cycles over and and over again. Nothing changes because you have no idea how to evolve the conflict into something truly different.
Read 4 tweets
21 Jun 19
OKAY. NEON GENESIS EVANGELION THREAD TIME!
Gonna watch the first ep! But first, groundrules:
-No spoilers, duh, but don't talk about future episodes. Every time I try to watch anime someone's like "oh if liked that moment just WAIT til this episode when..." Like. don't do that!
... that's it... I guess it's more of a groundrule.
This is fun!
Read 79 tweets
17 Jun 19
Quick Thread: I always see people throwing out the phrase "punch up, not down" and I have a weird problem with it because here's the thing...

A lot of times that's exactly what they think they're doing.
For example, when you see anti-semitism online, so much of is steeped in this insane belief that jews secretly run the world. Or that they are wealthy, privileged, etc.
Likewise, so much racism is built on a false beliefs that black people get unfair sympathy or go to college for free or get jobs purely through quotas. They think they are getting something for nothing while THEY are stuck with disadvantage.
Read 9 tweets
20 May 19
GOT: My takes are ultimately pretty muted in comparison, but can I please talk about how the "inexperienced-with-directing showrunners coming in to direct last episode" habit often leads to some of the biggest problems direction-wise? (Duh)
The biggest mistake often includes thinking that giving actor's space to emote means loading up your scenes with long pauses and stares, but not realizing that has no actual dramatic rhythm and doesn't actually hint to anything deeper going on?
It's not an accident you that you see this in a lot of student work and first films. I get that it's wanting to honor interiority, but it's a false assumption that gets beaten out of you pretty quickly because directing's first job is to shape, target, and accentuate.
Read 4 tweets
26 Mar 19
It has begun: journey with me into my first foray with Avatar: The Last Airbender!
As I first started watching Im reminded how much of the initial obstacle for non-anime people has to do with the film language changes and different signifiers and what I’ll call “this face”
You don't realize how much this specific anime style is just different from what I grew up with in cartoons. It made so many of my attempts to get into it just "not work." But like everything, those stylistic barriers weren't the fault of the art, they were the fault of my own.
Read 145 tweets
8 Feb 19
Was going through Richard Attenborough's IMDB today and forgot about this little nugget...
(This was 1999 by the way)
To be clear, this story is both better and worse than you think. It is actually about a real british dude who was so enamored of native american culture he went full rachel dolezal. The movie paints this as heroism.
Read 4 tweets
4 Feb 19
THREAD. Watching the Superbowl last night felt downright bizarre. Mostly because I have the weirdest damn relationship to Boston sports now. And I actually think it's worth talking about.
Like many who grew up there, I loved the four local teams with fiery passion. But I feel like there was something in the air that went beyond normal fervor. Largely because the entire city was caught up in the attitude of "the curse."
That would be the curse of the great bambino, which stated that ever since the red sox traded Babe Ruth, they were destined never to win a championship again. And so it went for 80 years.
Read 51 tweets
30 Jan 19
THREAD. Hate crimes are meant to instill fear. They always have. And they still do. And I kind of have to talk about this.
I grew up around Boston in the 80's / 90's. I knew I was attracted to men. I always knew. I just didn't know what that meant. I didn't understand what being bi was. The only thing I knew it meant is that I was terrified I was gay.
Why would I be terrified? Because homophobia wasn't just a part of culture, it was culture. The words fag and faggot were omnipresent. Doing anything "faggy" was tantamount to asking for torture.
Read 25 tweets
4 Jan 19
I think I'm going to do an odd experiment... I am going to play the new pokemon game for switch. I have literally never played pokemon before and I know nothing about it or the world... Will be reporting back...
Okay I didnt get too far before question #1: why the hell are there two different full price versions of the game and i have heard of pikachu but what is an eevee
I am choosing pikachu because I know what a pikachu is

A DETECTIVE OF SOME SORT
Read 90 tweets
4 Jan 19
I have the deepest, most abiding jealousy of people who can just “go to sleep” without their brain turning it into an ordeal for hours and hours. This has been my whole damn life.
Please dont recommend medications and other things. Ive tried everything. Trust me. My brain fights against horribly and just excerbates it while making my body go haywire.
The only thing that genuinely works is alcohol, and for obvious damn reasons I don’t want to go down that road. Have even had times where I have. Nothing good comes from it.
Read 11 tweets
29 Dec 18
The following is 100% true.

My childhood room has a little old side attic that I used to put my toys in (now it's just full of old attic stuff). Late at night I would hear monster noises of things creeping and calling around in it and my mom, naturally, would say "no you don't."
As in "go back to bed there are no monsters." But when I got older it would still happen and I figured oh, it's like raccoons or some shit, but because I'm not a victim in a horror movie, there's no way I was investigating that myself.
So I think I finally convinced my mom to hire a pest person or something, but they found nothing. And besides, it would only happen some nights not every night, etc. So I just went on, figuring whatever animal in there would die or something.
Read 34 tweets