🧵The typical mistakes the Nice Guy Makes in dealing with others and women [Micro Breakdown Of An Interaction]: TL:DR Version Bottom Tweet - With all the main takeaways

When someone tries to go on the attack with me, depending on my mood, I will either ignore or play around with them.

This is a perfect example of all the mistakes not to make. Interestingly enough, my circumstantial boredom can be recycled for lessons to the community.

You may not necessarily understand how all of these have ramifications with women, but you will understand as we go along.

This is how and why your girl switched from caring and loving to distant and dismissive.

I will explain the dynamic and how to address it: The reality is that women often appreciate social dynamics unconsciously better than you and are usually many steps ahead of you. Some will do it consciously to gain leverage, some will be a result of their ever-changing emotions driven by your response to them.

So you are constantly stuck in negative patterns that hold you back from getting what you want out of life.

Here are 10 traps you may be faced with, where they are coming from and how to grow out of them: 1. The source of these negative patterns

These life traps are rooted in childhood and shape how we think, feel, and relate to others. The ones I have observed the most are abandonment, mistrust, and emotional deprivation.

It causes people to repeat painful experiences in adulthood, often without realising it.

It is about taking responsibility for past choices and seeing where they are coming from

How do you banter and talk shit with a girl who matched with you and plays along: 1 - Match the good energy and introduce some banter to establish a good vibe.

I added screenshots of the unfinished Telegram Version of AI OG (called Ask Chad) that I am fine-tuning to show the mistakes people can make, but also how to avoid falling into a boring convo.

She is warm.

Her message: "Matching was the easy part, now we have got to impress each other".

That is a flirt, but it could also be a false friend, as accepting that frame of you having to impress her, even though she says she has to also impress you, does not assume the win from that you are already there. You don't have to impress anyone. Thus, agreeing with that frame, you are qualifying to her, even if she uses herself as an equal to cover it up.

The default mode of AI OG is to be a delusionally unhinged bot; thus, it needs recalibration when texting.

"Impress you? I thought matching with me was your peak achievement"
- Uncalibrated and makes you sound like a twat to someone who is positively geared towards you, but has no background context on you. Additionally, using someone's goodwill to your own gain is bad etiquette.

"Don't worry, I make a great first impression - what about you?"
- Weak because you are self-qualifying and already looking to impress someone, putting that person as the judge, thus above you.
Whereas the first one you are posturing from up (weak), this one you are acknowledging from down.

"Relax, I am not that hard to impress, let's see what you have got"
- This one is alright, defuse the "impress" frame and make it more chill to have a natural conversation

I decided to make it more humorous, focusing on her need to impress me while ignoring the thread of me having to impress her.

"If you can tell a joke better than my uncle at Christmas, you are already winning"
- Subcom: Let's shift from the "impress" frame, and use humour as a diffusing factor

So you want to approach hot women, but you feel you don't qualify for them. Here is how to shift that belief: 1. CONFIDENCE ISN'T TRUTH

It is just the conviction in your version of reality, even if it is not aligned with the objective reality of your existing results. Guys can't move away from this because they are too focused on tangible past outcomes; they can't seek higher.

So you want to create attachment from nothing and take advantage of it. Below are some of the notes from my toxic days: 1. Figure Out Her Vulnerability

See what she draws as the core of her identity. What she believes about herself, where it is coming from, why that is. Just dig deep, as if you're genuinely interested in knowing her.

3 benefits:

1- Intel
2- She feels she matters to you

WHEN TO NOT TAKE HER SHIT AND GET RID OF HER

(Texts breakdown below)

1) It is not insecure for a guy to set up an environment where his girlfriend won't create opportunities for her to step out. You don't park your sports car in the hood. Believing that the only force of will is enough for that person not to screw is overestimating human nature.

2) The problem is already there if she wants to put herself in these situations.

3) She agrees that having guy friends at her flat is understandably unacceptable, yet she entertained the idea despite acknowledging the wrong side of it afterwards. Yet she already calls him insecure because of it. She is in the position of finding faults in him and looks to get validation from the female hive mind to give herself the confidence to act how she truly feels.

4) She already feels contempt for her boyfriend because he calls him insecure.

5) Understanding her proclivity toward male friends and his previous recommendation not to have male friends, especially in close quarters around her, has opened Pandora's box. Understandably, he feels something is cooking in the background, which is why he instinctively looks to curtail what her surroundings will be. He most likely does not know how to express it, but he knows something is fishy.

6) Your girlfriend should not seek to enjoy male company outside of the necessary responsibilities she holds with her professional life, and even then, you are not avoiding the risks of work husbands. If so, she is not your girlfriend. She is a girl on rotation or a side chick. Unconstrained modern women will want to have a relationship whilst keeping the benefits of enjoying some or the whole side of their single life. If you have been in a relationship with a woman who wants you, she can't be arsed going to all these social events, even less being around other men, and would rather spend the time with you.

7) Going to a wedding where it is common knowledge it is conducive to hookups for the single people at the event powered by the couple getting married, and the flowing booze and nice set-up is a clued-up opinion. She may not necessarily be looking to cheat, but one needs to provide the right environment for a woman to step out. The motive may not be there, but supply creates demand. Just look at how they behave on holidays.

8) The guy cares about his relationship when she only cares about herself; that is why she is crowdfunding her opinion on the matter to strangers on the internet because that of her boyfriend holds less ground than that; how shitty a situation you must be in as a guy if you are entertaining that set-up. You don't have to, though.

I've included some more suggestions below. From the text exchange, you can see that the guy is weak. He is willing to bargain on things he said he was not comfortable with. If he had been confident about himself, he should have told her she was free to do what she wanted, as he had previously told her his stance. He is not holding back any burdens and leaves the choice to her to show she respects her commitment to him. She should listen to his preferences on some key matters. The fact that he has to even ask about "Justin" shows he is willing to compromise on his initial position.

You don't want to hold someone back from doing what they want; it will create unnecessary resentment with a pyrrhic victory in the end as long as when that question was previously addressed and adequately communicated, what she is doing is testing his backbone.

If she decides to go to the wedding, let her, but when she comes back, downgrade her as a stranger, if not a side chick. If she wants to behave like one, you have the power to accept the reality of it. If you live with her, pack her bags, send them to her parents, and change the locks.

Also, notice the emotional manipulation of including work trips in the mix to muddle more legitimate reasons to validate a leisure one and guilt-tripping him for her to get her way.

Based on the conversation and how spineless the guy is, he was not firm enough in their original conversation about where he stood because she was testing him. Regardless, the fact that she is is all you need to know because she does not accept his preferences and is willing to risk your annoyance out of selfishness.

CONFESSIONS OF A CHAD PART 2

19 Lessons:

1) If a girl likes you that much, there is nothing to say, she already told herself a story about you and how beneficial it is for her to be associated with you. Guys love when a girl stfu. Guess what, girls do as well, especially when you break the imagery they have of you.

2) Treating them like shit confirms to them you are higher value. That is why they prefer assholes to the guys who give them good treatment. They would rather feel shit because they are that power and status hungry.

3) Don’t underestimate the level of degradation they will go for with the right guy.

4) One of the issues that Chads can have is they sound boring as they never developed social and conversational skills because they never had to. Heard so many times girl say how the guy was so hot but so boring.

5) Chads are not immune to self-doubt which is a poison and the biggest cockblocker for a guy when it is not her fat friend.

6) Say less >>>>>

7) There is this idea that you must sound alpha to create attraction. It is not so much about that, than not sounding like a bitch. Over-consuming content from online anonymous accounts when it is not jokes of dating coaches that creates that poison in your head. Things are much simpler than they want to sell you, which you only validate when it creates insecurities in you these marketers can monetise.

8) The same girl who is being conflictual in giving you their number before a first date, or switch venue, previously did not fight to be the submissive girl of a guy she fancied. It is less about true masculinity than how hot the guy is. The Halo Effect will do the work on your behalf.

9) You think she does not have that much experience before 20, she, then, most likely has more than you will have at 35.


10) There is a higher likeliness to be targeted by dating apps if you are active and successful on them because women are petty and will make you pay by reporting you when you next them, much more so than if you troll them (I am still active on Bumble lol).

11) She will be turned on you fucking other girls because of the obnoxiousness and the strength you show. It is less about infidelity, than value. She only cares about you being monogamous because you don’t have the value for her to forgive you because the association with you is not worth the ego loss of being cheated on. There is a rule for BF material and there is a rule for Chad.

12) Randomness and Troughs also exist for Chads. Dry Spell is hard to get out of the more you are stuck in your head manifesting failure, which is relying in your negative recency bias, which makes you have a distorted view of the reality. It is the opposite of the hot hand fallacy.

13) Don’t underestimate Momentum when texting a girl, strike the iron whilst it is hot. Otherwise, the girl will self eject out of fear of rejection from the silence created from the original request to you following up. It is the unattainability issue, where a girl will feel she is punching. She won’t want to compete because she is almost certain she is gonna fail, and want to avoid the pain of the rejection.

14) When there is a genuine attraction no rules applies. On her end, where she will do things she is not supposed to. On your end, you will be able to get away with not following the so-called rules. Genuine Attraction works in spite of rules not thanks to them.

15) The more she likes you, the more overt she will make her communication be so that she makes sure you understand that it is the case. It is in her loss of control that you can confirm if she has genuine desire, not in her being able to control herself.

16) Saying no and being dismissive to her is a turn on because it shows you are not vulnerable to her charms. Confirmation you have strength. Indirectly confirming she ain’t shit. As with them it is a zero-sum game: their L is your W and conversely. She hates it but love it at the same time. That is why the true feminine nature is one where their low self-esteem is being validated.

17) She will stalk you if she likes you, because she wants to know every part of you in order to win you over. It is less because you matter to her as an individual, than you fill her ego cup so she trying to find an angle to fill her cup.

This is what I would tell guys who are tired of being a bitch: 1. You have your story, and the aggregation of your experiences made you who you are and what you believe in. You don't have to convince others of your viewpoints; they won't understand if they don't come from the same reality.

This is what I would tell guys if they are stuck on one girl (aka OneItIs): 1. Thinking about her harder won't get you closer to getting her. You reinforce the illusion, pushing her further away when an opening occurs. Overthinking occurs, and your energy will be that of a beggar... not conducive to attraction or respect.

EXAMPLE OF WOMANESE TRANSLATION FOR MEN

Below is me challenging a female friend in what she says and translating in men terms.

Part 1=> She explains how guys don’t work as hard to get to see women on dates anymore - not fighting hard through soft rejection.

Saying they prefer guys who chase after them.


Part 2 => she explains it is how women getting attached to men (partly true - depending on the methodology) => love bombing => when a guy has time to spare, energy and attention to give and know how to push the right triggers you can investment dump on her - provided she is receptive you have a perfect specimen for an available lonely heart looking for a host. But he seeks to rent and she is looking to sell=> the outcome is not a direct cause to what she attributes it to.

If chasing was successful guys would all be players, it is what happened in the lead up to the meet up and after the intercourse. Otherwise, chasing is a net negative.

Was speaking to a 35yo woman last night and she was telling me how she had 5 single female friends currently dating who are constantly being “dicked around” by guys. They lie on their intentions just to smash and then waste her friends’ time. “It is not cool”.

One of them, 41yo, desperate for a kid, is thinking of going to a sperm bank - “that bad”.

Outside of the drop in value for women past a certain age, something happens with guys. They are less likely to commit either from heartbreaks, learning to cultivate their relatively lonely 20s, and having more sense than horniness.

And from a strategy perspective, because these women front-load their agenda off the bat, because time is of the essence, they are giving the solution to the riddle by letting guys know what to say to get in their pants.

Men are usually way more inclined to commit when younger and emotionally immature and romantic. As they get older, they become more ruthless. So in a way, women by prioritising having their best life in their 20s cornered themselves to a non-negligible portion of the male population who learned to live without them… they only have themselves to blame. Men just adapted. open.substack.com/pub/frenchog78…

If I could tell my 18-year-old self how to stop overthinking myself out of draws and good social interactions, these are the 22 takeaways that I would say to him: 1. You cannot control women's interpretations of your actions, so be purposeful and assertive; whatever happens happens.

The moment you start thinking about the best course of action, you forgo the main one: your own.

🧵 HOW TO USE A CUT OFF TEXT TO GET HER TO CHASE

@jestermaxxoor asked me to go further on this.

This is to be used in a specific situation.

It is a high Risk high Reward move and has no guarantee, but when it works you gain the leverage.

When to use it?

👇🏽 1) YOU HAD A DATE WHICH WENT VERY WELL AND THERE WAS SEXUAL INTENT FROM YOU

You either brought her back to yours or at the very least offered her to come back to your place.

In both instances, she rejected your advances.

If at home when you try to get her naked or faced LMR.

Toxic Game is what turns a girl on.

When you know how to play the game, you know that making her feel like shit turns her on.

How do you make her feel like shit:

1) she needs to be invested somewhat in you

2) you must make her work hard for breadcrumbs of validation

👇🏽 3) She must become dependent of your attention:

=> become scarce
=> sprinkle some nice words in between
=> dominate her in bed
=> make her do stuff for you
=> do little for her

4) Break-up with her, wait 4 her to reach out back and entertain vagueness to where u stand