Nadine Dorries dressed as car crashes 🧵

Liz Truss dressed as bins - A thread 🧵

For every 10 likes I will photoshop a larger nose onto Boris Johnson. 10 down nice and early

For the last couple of months I’ve been convincing my four-year-old daughter that a pirate used to live in our house and that legend has it he had left a treasure map in our loft. She finally found 'that' treasure map on the weekend and it was perfect. A thread. I wanted to create a treasure hunt for Aubrey for her birthday and I wanted it to be as real in her mind as possible (almost entirely inspired by The Goonies except with less mortal peril). So I’ve been seeding this idea all of this time to add to its authenticity.

For the last six years I’ve kept a spreadsheet listing every parking spot I’ve used at the local supermarket in a bid to park in them all. This week I completed my Magnum Opus! A thread. I live in Bromley and almost always shop at the same Sainsbury’s in the centre of town, here’s a satellite view of their car park. It’s a great car park because you can always get a space and it is laid out really well. Comfortably in my top 5 Bromley car parks.