The "Womanese" to "Man-Speak" Dictionary

Women seem to speak a different language. They're trying to tell us something, but not in a way that's natural or actionable for us. But you're in luck: Lasta's Womanese Dictionary is here to the rescue!

When it comes to manhood, women are wine tasters and not wine makers. She can tell you how she feels (which wines taste good), but not what you ultimately need to do to cultivate these feelings (the processes to adjust to make the wine differently).

To use another analogy, she’s talking about aesthetic problems with interior decorating, when your sphere of action is framing the house. It’s related. What you do directly affects her. But her categories of thought are things like lighting, aesthetics, functionality, and space management, and yours is structural integrity, materials, efficiency, and workmanship.

Let's look at a common pain point: reasons she feels she isn't up for sex:

1. She Doesn’t Feel Loved
2. She Doesn’t Feel Safe
3. She Doesn’t Feel Beautiful
4. She’s Tired

Here's the translation for each of these into practical actionable man-speak.

1. She doesn’t feel loved → Invite her into your frame

A woman will feel left behind if she doesn’t feel nestled in your frame. Maybe you’ve got a compelling mission, but she doesn’t feel a part of it. A string of “I love yous” only matters if there’s meaning behind them.

So have things you’re excited about pursuing, invite her to join you, and show how much you value her contribution. And get curious about how she’s feeling and what she’s up against. Be proactive in seeking out where her pain points are even before she troubles you with them. The more she sees her actions and efforts being genuinely valued, the more she will feel “loved.”

2. She doesn’t feel safe → Build a stronger frame

Of course, #1 means nothing if you don’t have a strong frame to begin with. You may hear that a woman “doesn’t feel safe” and assume you are being too harsh or something. By all means, don’t be harsh! But that’s not normally it. She wants your frame to feel like a safe place for her to be FROM all the things that cause her stress and anxiety in the world.

This means building up your internal frame so that you are calm, don’t get tilted by things, and don’t back down under pressure. You have clear goals and values, and can stick to them. Especially with her, when she unloads on you, you don’t get defensive and see her emotions as a threat. You hear her out with curiosity without being rattled or strung along by her feelings.

3. She doesn’t feel beautiful → Stoke up your virility

Women need to feel healthy and sexy to want to have sex. Their biological firmware knows that sex means pregnancy. To feel horny to them is their bodies saying “I’m in a great spot to have a child - physically, socially, and situationally.”

To stoke this up, you need to bring your masculine energy to bear in the relationship. Set an example of physical fitness yourself. Be flirtatious. Smack her butt as you pass her in the kitchen. Talk about how fine she is, and how much she turns you on. Make sexual jokes. Don’t be needy or obnoxious – that’ll just make her think you’re desperate for anything and she’s actually nothing special. Reinforce that this isn’t something she “does for you,” but rather treat her like a healthy, smoking hot woman with a lust for life.

4. She’s tired → Expand and hone your mission

Women’s bodies don’t often release desire if they feel pushed to the limit physically or situationally. Their body agenda is thinking “we may have to be on the run, or our tribe is low on food – another child might do us in.” If she’s crashing at the end of the day with no margin, she’ll feel no margin for the expansion of life that sex symbolizes.

The solution here is to see your home life as part of your core mission. You’re the captain. You have goals for things to be run well. In “womanese,” this is you taking on “mental load” and “emotional labor,” but we think of it as being truly the man of the house. Make decisions. Get out in front of things. You’re not asking her what you can do to help, so much as being aware of her pain points and insights as you make your own lists. Then she’ll breathe a sigh of relief when you walk in the door, and want to welcome you further in. 😳🫢 5. Talk to Me → Solicit and integrate her input

You're the man. You're the captain. You are building your frame and inviting her in. You make decisions and act. But are you going to barrel over her concerns? Are you flying blind, oblivious to what she sees? Or are you leaving her and what she cares about in the dust? Even a woman who deeply admires her man worries about these things.

The solution? Get out in front of it. Get genuinely curious about her opinions, status, and pain points. Does she just drone on and on about stuff you don't care about? Make sure you aren't missing something important, but then use the power of targeted questions to get at stuff you are interested in. If she's your first officer, she's aware of stuff that's gonna bite you down the line if you don't know about it. Take the initiative and solicit a SITREP from her before she even seeks you out.

Women love this. When you're actively engaged in digging in to her world not just to be polite, but because you feel YOUR mission depends on it, she feels safe and nestled into you. Nagging and anxiety will disappear. And she'll never say "talk to me."

Chapter 1 of my new book on intersexual dynamics for young Christian men.

Full text below the fold. A Superhero’s Coming of Age

I was annoyed entering the theater with my sons’ boy scout troop. We had planned to see “Mortal Engines,” a Peter Jackson movie about wars between giant tank cities, but the scouts voted for “Into The Spider-Verse” instead. I didn’t know anything about it, except that it was some animated spiderman flick. And so I settled into my seat, the good Dad taking one for the team.

My low expectations only added the magic of surprise as I enjoyed one of the most sublime cinematic experiences of my life. The film was a work of art: a comic book come alive. Not a second of its tight script was wasted. I never did see “Mortal Engines,” but the reviews said it was forgettable. Dave Ramsey’s Spider-Verse, on the other hand, was a coming of age story to remember.

Early in the movie there was a funny scene. Miles Morales is an awkward High School kid just hitting puberty. He’s having a growth spurt, and his pants no longer fit. His voice is cracking. He works up the courage to talk to a girl in his class, and his hand brushes against her hair. Embarrassingly, it gets stuck. It takes the school nurse to free her hair with a set of clippers.

We know what’s really happening, though Miles doesn’t. The night before, he had been bitten by a radioactive spider, giving him strange new powers. As Miles panics, running away from the accusing eyes (and strangely loud thoughts) of students and faculty, he yells to himself “it’s just puberty!” Eventually he finds himself running on the side of the building and realizes the truth. It’s not puberty. He’s receiving a superpower that he can’t control.

Sexual Drive as Fuel for Mission
Stop repressing your desires and go after your muse

What do you do with sexual desire when you don’t have a sexual outlet? If you're like many unmarried Christin men, your sex drive feels like a curse. Marriage is far in the future, so you keep your eyes off the ladies, resist porn and masturbation, and avoid tempting situations.

But suppressing your sex drive is no way to live. You’re constantly fighting your own primal wiring, while undermining your own virility. There’s a better way.

Imagine a young man growing up in a hunter/gatherer tribe. He’s fourteen years old and puberty has arrived. He’s growing taller, his voice is cracking, and he gets erections. He’s sexually attracted to the young ladies in the camp, but none of them notice him. And so his sex drive feels like a frustrating irritation. He’s moody and antsy. How can he find sexual release with no woman in his life?

Then one day the men invite him on the hunt. He’s intimidated. He doesn’t want to look bad in front of the men. But all of that pent up sexual energy propels him forward. He overcomes his fears and takes down his first kill.

Walking back into the camp, our hero has his head held high with the kill slung over his shoulders. He’s not feeling sexual frustration at all. He’s proud. And it’s at this point that one of the young ladies asks a friend, “Who is that young man? I’ve never noticed him before.”

Our hero just experienced “sexual transmutation.” It sounds like an esoteric concept, but it’s a totally natural thing for any guy to do: using sexual energy for non-sexual things. The young man channeled his sexual frustration into hunting. Succeeding here satiated his drive, while raising his status in his tribe. Think of it sexually. He exerted his strength and fertilized reality with his will. This brought forth fruit (food for the tribe) and raised his status. Sexual energy built up his frame.

(Actually this non-sexual pursuit was the clearest path to sexual abundance. The young ladies’ lack of interest in him has been outflanked. Now there are new opportunities for courtship that didn’t exist before.)

Train yourself to see and feel sexual arousal as “fuel for mission.” For me with my wife, that mission may be sexual, but most of the time it’s not. In a given week, I spend more waking hours NOT having sex than having sex. My sexual desire far exceeds my sexual opportunities. But that’s OK, because there are other conquests in life that require my passion and strength.

The other option is to see your drive as “sexual needs” that she must meet. But that makes you frustrated if she’s not available, or resentful if she’s unwilling. Male sexual neediness kills attraction in a woman, because it is a loss of frame. Instead of inviting her to relax in your frame, your own satisfaction is contingent on her giving you what you crave. You’re approaching her more like an infant to a mother than a man with a woman. This is a terrible trap, and can lead to a sexless marriage.

If you’re single, you’re probably not worried about a future sexless marriage. But you may be training your body to see sexual energy as something that needs to be soothed, rather than a drive to direct. That’s the true harm of porn and masturbation.

It’s normal and understandable for a boy going through puberty to masturbate. He’s investigating a new power and seeing how his hardware works. But the older he gets, the more damaging this habit becomes. He’s associating sexual arousal with a need to be satisfied. Sexuality is the magic feel good button for life’s troubles.

Porn turns this childish habit into something diabolical. It gives a man the experience of endless sexual novelty, as if he were King Solomon with his harem. Not only can he imagine that his needs are being soothed; now he’s hit the genetic jackpot. He’s won the game of life. Why channel his sexual energy into status pursuits? He’s the king of the world. The devil said to Christ in the wilderness, “bow down and worship me, and I will give you all the kingdoms of the world.” But the masturbatory man is given no kingdoms. His status in life is not improving. It’s a lie from the lips of his demonic bride.

Over and against this cries the voice of lady wisdom, your true muse. Your sexual drive is meant to fuel you forward to put yourself out there in life, and shoot your shot. Men compete fiercely if they know their true love is watching and cheering them on. That’s the real meaning of a man’s “feminine side.” It’s not that you are feminine, but that your calling inspires you like a good woman does. A man captivated by his mission will make love to life.

So what do you do with sexual fantasies and compulsions that have a firm hold on your heart? Break the spell of idolatry. Idols offer something finite as if it were infinite. They promise the world and give you nothing in the end. The illusion is that sexual fulfillment is found in having your “needs met” in these fantasies. But that’s not what your drive is for.

You break the spell by not suppressing your fantasies, but diving deeper into them. Christ saved us not by shunning Death and Hell, but by descending into it. You must ask, “What am I longing for in this fantasy? What am I trying to feel? What’s the core desire?”

For example, say you have this idealized sexual experience, and it makes you feel free. The version of you in this fantasy is unapologetic about his desires. He goes for it, and holds nothing back. He doesn’t have to pretend to be anything other than who he is. “Freedom” is the core desire.

So ask yourself? How can you live with “freedom” in the non-sexual parts of your life? At work you give your all, not afraid of your colleagues’ opinions. At home you take on exciting projects, not avoiding them. In prayer you pour your heart out to God, not inhibited in any way. As you flesh out this picture of a life worth making love to, you see an image of your muse.

And the glorious secret is that this is the life that will naturally lead to sexual experiences that have that same feeling of uninhibited freedom. He who seeks to save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life in pursuit of the kingdom will save it.

Don’t repress your sexual drive. Instead, sexualize all of life. Bring a sexual charge to everything you do, and the physical love with a woman will fit right in.

This post will be expanded into chapter 5 of my book for young Christian on intersexual dynamics. Chapter 4:

https://x.com/GiffLasta/status/1852828053048614963

Mel Gibson’s Series on the Great Siege of Malta!

So pumped about this! I can’t imagine a better setting for a historical war drama. Most folks have no clue how cool this story and setting is. Here’s a thread 🧵about what we’re in for: 1. Historical Steampunk
We almost never see combat from 1500-1700 on film, and it’s a shame! It’s this crazy transitional period with knights in full armor combined with handguns and cannons. It’s like steampunk fantasy. This clip from the movie Alatriste is set 80 years later. The siege of Malta had even more elaborate armor, guns, grenades, trench warfare, cannons, mortars, and even early flamethrowers.

13 Surprising Reasons Why “Reforged Marriage” Doesn’t Suck

It’s absurd that I’ve started a marriage program for men. Imagine a venture capitalist listening to this pitch:

“The marriage counseling industry is ripe for disruption. I’ve got a new masculine approach that focuses on sex, and it succeeds where everything else fails. I have no relevant degree or formal training, just my story and some coaching experience with a few dozen guys. Invest now!”

He’d be crazy not to think I was crazy. But what can I say? The program doesn’t suck. Here’s some reasons why. 1. Focuses on the man. No need for your wife to agree on a counselor, and then to convince him to believe your story over hers. No feeling ganged up on. No requirements for her at all.

The Mental Load of Masculine Leadership

Earlier today, I saw a benign thread on being a good husband from Tyler Todt (@tyromper). Somewhere in the middle he offered the wives a tip: men can’t read minds, so make a list of stuff he can take off your plate. The internet exploded.

The post has 16 million rage views already. Women were pissed! “Why should we have to make a list? Just notice what needs to be done, you worthless man-child!” One of the guys joked that Tyler’s sacrifice isn’t in vain: now he knows to never get his wife to make a list of things to help her.

But here’s the thing: the women are right. And in a weird way, they’re calling for the patriarchy.

Hear me out. My wife says her Instagram feed is full of women complaining about “mental load.” She gets tired of it, “why should I want to read about ‘‘how to teach your kids about mental load’ - as if I want to add to their stress?” Still, the idea makes sense: management is the hardest thing about running a household. You gotta plan ahead, look at the big picture, notice what’s wrong, make priorities, get buy-in, and delegate tasks. If all he’s doing is grunt work, then she’s left with the stress of always being in charge.

When wives talk about “mental load,” they’re talking about “leadership.”

One time, back when I first started getting my act together around family leadership, I was driving home the night before a trip. I remember thinking, “I need to call my wife and ask if I should fill the van up now, or tomorrow on the way out.” And it finally clicked: “why do I need to bother her with this? I can just decide and do it!”

After that, I saw it everywhere. There were tons of ways I was expecting her to make the call on things I could easily handle. When I started taking initiative, she got more relaxed, she started to trust me, and sex got more frequent and way better. It wasn’t just that she had less stress. Rather, relaxing into me outside of the bedroom made it feel natural to do it inside the bedroom.

A lot of egalitarian types will say, “we don’t want leadership, we only want an equal partner.” But I’m not sure. If it’s just a colleague not pulling his full weight, why the rage? It seems deeper. There’s an air of betrayal, of “how dare you!” It’s not just that this guy should be generally competent, it’s that “I’m stuck mothering the man who should take care of me!”

What about the guys who say, “I work all day and she stays home - why should I do her job too?” But masculine leadership isn’t about “his job, her job.” A captain of a ship is responsible for everything. He doesn’t pull the ropes himself, but he knows how, and in an emergency he’d jump right in. If you’re the sole breadwinner, it makes sense that you delegate a lot of household leadership to her. But that means you notice it, appreciate it, and jump in when it’s obvious that she’s overloaded.

Be the man of the house. Take on the mental load. And when you embrace the suck, you’ll find the yoke is easy, and the burden is light. Here's the post from @tyromper that started it all:

https://x.com/tyromper/status/1825486158585041321

The Shit Test of Feminism

Feminism is a problem. Many men are fed up being vilified as a toxic menace. Our powerful sex drive assaults women. Our fraternal spaces exclude them from their rights. Our direct communication silences their voices. Our ambition for greatness keeps them disenfranchised. Our love of feminine domesticity enslaves them. Our admiration for the heroes of the past idolizes their oppressors.

It’s futile to argue. Resistance just dials the hate up to eleven. We’re called horrible names, assigned the most wicked motivations, and imputed with the worst crimes of history. Some men fight on and even get baited into genuinely hating women. Other men try agreeing with them only to be patronized as useful idiots. Most men do their best to mind their own business. So what should we do?

Dating coaches talk a lot about passing female “shit tests.” When a guy in a bar approaches a woman, she often starts saying things to throw him off his game. This is actually a sign that she wants to see what kind of man he is. He fails by being an apologetic pushover. He fails by getting angry and argumentative. He passes by showing unthreatened and gregarious confidence.

Her: “Why are you wearing that ugly shirt?”
Him: “Because otherwise I get too much attention from women.”

These tests aren’t shallow. If he fawns over her, he’s manipulatable by others. If he’s flustered by her, he won’t stand up to an actual threat. The more confident she feels in him, the more feminine and relaxed she will be able to be around him. She’s testing the strength of a board before standing on it.

The ugly man-hating side of feminism is a society-level shit test. For all the “you go girl” bluster, most women feel acutely their own sexual vulnerability. They are terrified of being adrift, stuck in abusive situations, not able to pursue their passions or their dreams, or left without support for themselves and their children. And so they push against us hard. Do we have a better offer than what the spirit of the age has on tap? Like the man in the bar, the sweet spot for men in society is to be strong, confident, and cheerful.

We can’t give in to unhinged demands or narratives and become “male feminists.” We gotta be unapologetic about our sex drive, dedicated to male fraternity, direct in communication, ambitious for greatness, attracted to femininity, and devoted to heroes of the past. Let’s engage them from a posture of strength.

But we can’t get baited into playing the part of woman-hating thugs or disengaged statues. Listening with curiosity is powerful, and it doesn’t require sacrificing our convictions at all. Are there legit concerns that no one is attending to, making them susceptible to being exploited by a hate movement? Are there win-wins that haven’t been explored? We’re men; we’re problem solvers! Bring it on.

Her: “Men oppress women, just like they always have throughout history.”
Him: “What shall I oppress you with off the menu tonight?”

Feminism is a shit test to pass, not an enemy to destroy. Here's a fantastic video from @MarkQueppet on passing female shit tests, whether in a dating situation or in a marriage.

Sexual Dominance and Marital Passion

“Men…want a woman whom they can feel [total] dominion over; whom they can objectify completely.” – “Bad” Billy Pratt (@KILLTOPARTY)

In a recent post, Billy Pratt talks about male fantasies of dominating and objectifying women. He said women shouldn’t feel flattered by a man’s sexual interest. There are two types of women: pretty and sleazy. Men sometimes prefer a less attractive woman to get the feeling of dominance he wants, because the higher status of a pretty one would make him feel he has to hold back rather than going all-out and plowing over her. Women in the replies reacted indignantly, “this isn’t news to us; we know what sick animals you men are.”

Pratt’s take was vulgar and easy to vilify, but I sensed a hidden truth. If we’re honest as men, there is an attraction to giving all we’ve got in sex, feeling on top of the world. I’m not sure this is always a turnoff to women. Think of the dark archetypes of romance novels: outlaws, pirates, vampires, etc. – those mysterious untamable vagabonds with a hidden tenderness that only she can bring out. Male strength can play into female sexual arousal. Sometimes she wants to feel taken, swept up in a wave where she completely lets go, gets out of her mind and into her body. It’s not uncommon for women to want the man to take a decisive lead in sexual intercourse, with the huge caveat that she needs to feel safe with him and respect him. Far from being weak and demure, she often wants him strong and decisive.

Pratt’s analysis reminds me of the (distastefully named) “Madonna/whore complex.” A man whose sexual drive has been shaped by years of porn addiction associates his saintly wife with tame duty sex, and all of his fiercer passions with the ugly but ravishing world of vice. Men who truly quit porn are often shocked that the path out is not suppressing their primal desires, but healthily integrating them into an inspiring life (first in non-sexual pursuits). It’s not that he needs two types of women to be satisfied, but rather his own split mind must become whole.

Can a man purify his desire to sexually “dominate” and “objectify”? Let’s look at the distorted impulses that Pratt describes. A man wants to feel like the king of the world, like he can unleash all of his drive, power, and passion. He uses a woman as a trophy to feel high status. The more he denigrates her, the higher he feels. Her body is a tool to act out an illusion that a weak man is strong. Women almost always find such a prospect deeply repulsive (not to mention frightening and threatening).

And yet for all that, a man’s drive to be masterful in life is a deeply good and attractive thing. The distortion lies in being possessive rather than expressive about that desire. If you channel that energy towards your goals in life, going at them with all your strength, and finding satisfaction not in the accomplishment but in simply knowing that you gave your all, that’s the path to becoming a genuinely masterful man. A woman is no longer a trophy to fulfill a status need, but someone to be invited into the adventure you’re already living.

The key to a woman relaxing into sexual submission is freedom. If she feels compelled, she’s likely to recoil. The chorus of contempt and disgust in reply to Pratt’s post expressed a need to retain control and safety. But would women all feel that way with a genuinely strong man who is driving forward with confidence, who doesn’t need her to prop up any kingly fantasy because he is already living his best life? When there is no demand, only invitation? If a woman feels truly safe, if her man’s strength is a refuge, a frame, and an inspiration, then clinging to a sense of control in a moment of passion can just mean missing out on the fun.

Within this relationship dynamic, for a woman to geld the lion within her man would be shooting herself in the foot. Patty Smyth sings it out in one of those cheesy 80’s ballads that I love:

“I don’t want to tame your animal style. You won’t be caged in the call of the wild!”

Men, let us love our wives with a fierce and holy fire. Let us not clumsily barrel over them like a bull in a china shop. But let us also not settle for insipid half measures that rob your wife of ecstasy and you of your strength. Reject both caricatures, become a whole man, and then see what desires are unlocked in her. (If you're a married man struggling with intersexual dynamics, I lead cohorts of men through the same insights that made such a difference for me. Hit me up in the DMs if you want to get in on this.)

How Building Intimacy Wrecks Your Marriage

Trying to get closer to your wife may actually be driving her away. Here's what you should be doing instead to win back her heart.

“Relationships are women’s work.”
@_Rian_Stone

“Women need emotional security and fulfillment from their man above all else.”
@TheEcho13

I picked up Rian Stone's book Dread, to hear all the stories about men workshopping on Reddit about getting their lives and marriages turned around. And I came across this crazy quip: “relationships are women's work.” What a wild thing to say! And yet it had that ring of a forgotten truth brashly stated, and I couldn't get the line out of my head.

It’s a relationship truism that men should be building intimacy with their wives if they want to have a great sex life and a great marriage. Get her flowers, write love notes, learn to communicate better, be honest with her, listen and do what she says, pay more attention to her, be really nice. But so many men who have tried this find intimacy always just out of reach. The more he pursues her, the colder she gets.

That’s because “build intimacy with your wife” is terrible marriage advice. The problem in most bad marriages isn’t that the man hasn’t “built intimacy.” Rather, he hasn’t built himself into someone she feels safe being intimate with.

Imagine a copperhead in the front yard. Does your wife need to “build intimacy” with it? Should she work on her skill in holding the thing close to her chest? Perhaps the snake could improve its communication skills and give her flowers - would that fix the problem? It’s absurd. It’s not that she hasn't done the work of building intimacy with a pit viper; it’s that she doesn't want to be close to a pit viper in the first place.

The best bang for your relationship buck as a man, then, is not to focus on the relationship, but to focus on becoming a first-rate man and an inspiring presence. For men, marriage work is self-development in disguise.

But what about Echo’s quote: what about women’s relational and emotional needs? Most men’s eyes glaze over when they hear this kind of talk. Do we need to learn some completely foreign language and tool set? Are these “emotional needs” in the room with us right now?

Here’s the magic: “emotional needs” are the female experience of exactly what Rian is hinting at: him learning to be a grown-ass man. Can he hold frame, so that she can relax into him? Is he volatile and touchy, or can he handle her emotional storms? Is he a grounding presence? Does he show initiative and take charge, so that it's not all on her?

When he does this, her primal mind starts feeling:

“I’m not lost in the woods. I can rely on you. If I’ve got problems, they’ll be heard, and you’re strong, brave, and committed to me so they’ll be dealt with. You’ll listen to me, and you’re a force to be reckoned with. I can relax. I can open up.”

I’m not saying to never plan a date or get your wife flowers. By all means, sweep her off her feet and take her on adventures! But those gentlemanly gestures only mean anything when built on top of a foundation of strength and reliability. As a rule, your “marriage improvement mental budget” should be 80% self-improvement, and 20% displays of comfort and closeness.

Make yourself someone she wants to be close to, and she'll unleash all her feminine relational magic to build the intimacy. @_Rian_Stone This post has more on your masculinity bringing out her femininity:

https://x.com/lastadolphin/status/1759333322948292674?s=20

Episode 2: Attack of the Fratriarchs
Patriarchy is a four-letter word. People think it’s men put in charge simply because they are men, masking weakness with machoism and keeping women down. But I’m proud to identify as a patriarch, contrarian fool that I am. My pronouns are your/dad.

For all our talk of “the patriarchy,” we’re probably the least patriarchal society in history. The word doesn’t mean “male domination” but rather “the father governs.” It’s not just any man taking charge, but a specific kind of man: one so invested in his world that he pours his life into bringing up solid sons and daughters. The Barbie Movie cast “the patriarchy” as the villain, and yet there was only one father in the movie (who took charge of exactly nothing). Fathers today don’t govern communities, homes, or even themselves. They hardly exist.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t have men (or at least males) telling people what to do. Welcome to the “fratriarchy.” It’s the government of the bratty little brother, who is invested in little more than his own grandstanding image. Whether it’s online trolls trashing women, entitled pastors with no actual leadership virtues, or checked-out husbands who let their wives run themselves ragged while the house descends into chaos (and then yell at her when something goes wrong), the fratriarchs are in command.

True patriarchy has never been more needed. There’s a multitude of resentful young men who feel constantly dumped on, who feel their masculine drives stirring within them, who are hungry for practical tools. Too often they find instead the frat-house of the fratriarchs, whether secular or Christian, and are fed a steady diet of cheap validation, resentment, and macho posturing. They need solid father-figures to believe in their potential, to model how to do hard things, to get comfortable with discomfort, to grow in confidence and self-leadership, and to engage with women with that magic mixture of gentleness and strength that wins their hearts.

I’ll attach a growing thread of fratriarch/patriarch proverbs to this post. Both women and men need to tell the difference. And to men out there who are struggling: I realize it’s tough. Especially if you’re dealing with porn or a dead bedroom, shoot me a DM and I’ll hook you up with some resources. But when you become the man you were always meant to be, everyone will thrive as a result.

Fathers rule. Little brothers drool.

Smash the fratriarchy. Build the patriarchy. Fratriarchs feel entitled to authority because they are male.
Patriarchs feel a masculine calling to make themselves worthy of authority.

Arguing with women on Elon Musk’s internet, in five easy steps!

A lot of men are arguing with women about intersexual dynamics on this platform. It never goes well. Most of them miss the irony: the advocates of sexual differences are treating women like argumentative men (while not being terribly “alpha” themselves). Read on for five tips for good game in discussions with the ladies.

This is a 🧵about being a strong gentleman online. Yes, an exchange on X isn't a date, but intersexual dynamics still plays a role between any man and woman. When you learn how this works, you'll discover that good men often have the power to make women feel relaxed, heard, and validated. When you've won her trust and respect, she may even see you as someone she wants to champion, not fight against, and impossible intellectual impasses can simply vanish. All without sacrificing your principles or compromising your beliefs.

A disclaimer: intersexual dynamics isn't the only game in town. Every general principle for mutual respect and sound argument also applies here. It's just great to be aware of this additional layer to these conversations. 1. Win the meta-argument

You're plainly right, and she's obviously wrong, and you keep pressing the same point home, with a couple good zingers thrown in for good measure. And then all of a sudden you're blocked, and see her talking to her friends: “Wow, I went to his timeline and all my suspicions were confirmed.” “Went ahead and blocked him.” That's because the real discussion was never about the topic, but about whether you are a creepy guy.

Most women have a default concern for their own safety when dealing with men. Our high testosterone biology makes any one of us a potential threat, particularly if we don't have good control over our emotions. But the reverse is true: a strong man who wields his passions well can be a grounding presence for her, feeling safer, more confident, and freer with him there.

So even in an internet argument, the meta-argument is often about “is this guy safe to be around”? If not, many women will not give an inch. She'll deny that the sky is blue rather than commit to a line of reasoning that eventually leads to her harm. If you display anger, defensiveness, frustration, or desperation when talking to her, she'll probably harden and you’ll get nowhere.

I was “today years old” when I first heard about the Church of St. Sava in Belgrade. I’ve never wanted to visit Serbia before. Now I’ll do whatever it takes to see it before I die. Why does something I didn’t know existed yesterday mean so much to me? 1/14 When the Roman Emperor Constantine became a Christian, he decided to found a “New Rome”: a magnificent city that would govern the eastern half of the Empire. Despite the old Rome's fall, Constantinople held fast, and remained the grandest city in Europe for a millennium. 2/14

"A wife should do her duty to meet her man's sexual needs. After all, love involves sacrifice. Men don't feel like going to work or taking the trash out either."

Sensible and well-intentioned...and wrong!

Read on for a more excellent way to more and better sex. 🧵1/10 First an olive branch to well meaning traditional women: if it’s true that sexual release is a man’s need that only the wife can morally provide, then the above take is the best we can do. He’s at her mercy. If she loves him, she’ll have pity on him and take it like a champ. 2/10

Christian counselors try to help couples strengthen their marriages. Red pill dating coaches just try to get men laid. So why are the red pill guys giving WAY better Christian marriage advice?

Here's how learning about “shit tests” will make you a more godly man. 🧵1/8 Picture this: a guy in a bar works up the courage to approach a woman. They start a conversation, but she starts saying things to throw him off his game, e.g. “Is that what you say to all the girls?” He starts to feel flustered and defensive. He just failed a “shit test.” 2/8

🧵What I didn't see in my 25-year porn addiction was just how badly it was hurting me now. The church didn't have a lot of good tribal knowledge on the concrete damage. Soul/marriage/legacy I cared about, but that's nebulous and long-term. How did it sucker punch me daily? 1/

https://twitter.com/Brian_Sauve/status/1613887898754973696

It gave my primal soul a feeling of being the king of the world. Like Genghis Kahn or Solomon, I could take my pick of a cluster from my practically infinite harem any time I wanted. None of my ancestors (except perhaps those guys) could have that sort of ecstasy on demand. 2/