My Little Red Hen,
We are exhausted from caging toddlers and we found that the local saloon would not serve as as our hats were red and did not suit. This civil war lacks civility. Old man Dershowitz was runnin' wild today howlin' at the moon. The war has done stole his wits... General Sessions has promised that all the men with no conscience won't have to drill tomorrow. Colonel Pruitt has been taken by the fits and burns every field and poisons every river willy-nilly. We worry on account of he seems addle-pated but wont no one right him.