REVIEW: Lust and Grace by Ali Ghandour is an exceptional book on premodern Muslim scholars’ permissive attitude toward sex and eroticism. Prior to colonialism, Arabic speaking scholars wrote erotic treatises in a literary genre known as ilm al-bah (erotology). Written by German academic and Muslim theologian, Ali Ghandour, this concise book challenges modern perceptions about Islam being a prudish religion where sex is taboo. The author highlights women-friendly religious scholars who emphasised mutual love and female fulfilment in their works. In medieval Muslim societies, there was no shame in studying the joys and mysteries of carnal knowledge.

Sex-Positive Islam and Sex-Negative Muslims

Contrary to popular belief, Islam has a rich heritage in speaking openly about sexual matters and female pleasure. Nowadays, sex is taboo in the Arab-Muslim world due to the prevalence of ultraconservative and puritanical interpretations of Islam, where sexual myths are common. In premodern Islamic societies, erotology was a legitimate Islamic science where religious scholars and Muslim thinkers studied the art of eroticism. In 2006, an Egyptian cleric's controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars. The controversial religious debate was an ongoing issue as scholars debated, should you keep your clothes on when having sex?

Dr Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University's faculty of Sharia, warned that "being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage." The religious decree sparked a hot debate on religious talk shows, Islamic websites, and daily newspapers. His ruling was promptly dismissed by other scholars, including Suad Saleh, a head of the women's department of Al-Azhar's Islamic studies faculty, who argued that "anything that can bring spouses closer to each other" should be permitted.

Study On Feeling Scared During Sex

A US study found that women feel scared during sex significantly more often than men. When people were asked about what made them feel fear when intimate, there were stark differences between the genders. For example, women referred to being afraid of being choked without consent, and men mentioned being afraid of period blood. According to the study, women reported a scary sexual experience three times more than men. The study also found that women were more likely to respond based on physical safety. For instance, women were scared by their partners not stopping when they said no, or being overly rough/aggressive. Men, on the other hand, were more likely to report being afraid of the number of prior sexual partners a woman had, or a condom breaking. These gendered differences in sources of fear during sex is important to understand when engaging in partnered play.

OPINION: As a Black Muslim sex educator, I see how men need better models of consent

I’ve run workshops on intimacy and consent for men around the world, it’s clear that many young men have unrealistic ideas about sex and lack knowledge about how to talk about consent

By Habeeb Akande for @thomsonreuters

news.trust.org/item/202007151… “A man can’t rape his wife”, “sometimes, ‘no’ means ‘yes’,” and “most women lie about rape” – These are some of the things I have heard young men say in my sexual consent workshops. 

Rape and sexual assault are a pandemic that every young woman must consider, with the World Health Organization estimating that about in three worldwide have experienced sexual violence, or physical abuse from an intimate partner.

Shaking hands with the opposite gender... in light of the Khabib and Kate 'non-handshake controversy'

Scholars disagree on the Islamic ruling regarding a Muslim man shaking the hand of a woman who is not a close relative or wife. Many classical scholars say it's prohibited (haram), others say it's discouraged (makruh), and some say it's permissible (halal). Some scholars permit a man shaking a woman's hand if he does not think there would be any lust or temptation (fitna). For this reason, many premodern jurists permitted men to shake the hands of old women as it was assumed that there would be no desire or temptation for elderly women.

Women and Sexual Rights in Islamic History... (A Taste of Honey)

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Pre-Islamic Arabia (Before 610 CE)

In the pre-Islamic period known as the era of Ignorance (Jāḥiliyyah) sexual consumerism ruled in the Arabian Peninsula. There were various forms of marriage and sexual relationships in the highly promiscuous Arab society. Men practised unrestricted polygamy, prostitution was prevalent and women were treated like cattle. Men would also inherit their father’s widow without requiring the woman’s consent. Women had minimal rights over their husbands and many female slaves were coerced into prostitution by their owners. Female subordination was praised in the deeply patriarchal society, where male sexual pleasure was considered more important than female sexual pleasure.

“Blacks Are Promiscuous And Thieves” – Debunking Anti-Black Racism in Arab-Muslim Literature

Although Islam as a religion rejects anti-blackness and any form of racism, anti-black sentiment is prevalent in premodern Islamic literature and Muslim communities. Many of these problematic views stem from 'racist' traditions (hadiths) and scholarly statements that depict black people as; hypersexual, thieves, and stupid. Strangely, several premodern Muslim scholars considered these anti-black hadiths to be authentic, whereas others stated that they were unreliable, very weak, and probably fabricated. According to a tradition attributed to the Prophet Muhammad, “When the black man (al-Aswad) is hungry he steals, and when he is full he fornicates.” 
[Source: Al-Maqasid al-Hasanah]

This hadith (tradition) was classified as reliable (hasan) according to the author. The Egyptian Shafi’i scholar al-Sakhawai said, “Our imam al-Shafi’i relied on this hadith.” Other scholars also deemed this hadith to be reliable (hasan) such as al-Haythami, al-Busiri, and al-Ajlouni.

However, Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya and Ibn al-Jawzi declared this hadith as fabricated and not the actual statement of the Prophet.

God Hears Her: The Qur'an In Defence of 7 Women...

The Qur'an is a source of moral and ethical guidance for humanity. It is the unadulterated word of God that features empowering stories of female figures and inspirational women of faith. On several occasions, vulnerable women triumph in difficult circumstances by listening to divine guidance, or God responds to the words of women who have been wronged in some way. Below are seven examples of the Qur'an coming to the defence of women. 1. Musaykah - God defends coerced woman

Musyaka was an enslaved woman who asked the community of Medina for help when her master was mistreating her and coerced her into prostitution. When she refused to continue working as a prostitute, the Qur'anic verse was revealed to support her; "Do not force your slave-girls into prostitution, when they themselves wish to remain chaste, in your quest for the short-term gains of this world, although, if they are forced, God will be forgiving and merciful to them." (24: 33)

Men as a Temptation for Women in Early Islam

Muslim scholars report a famous story of a handsome young man who was exiled by Umar ibn al-Khattab to protect women from illicit relations and maintain their chastity as he was highly-sought after by the ladies of Medina. The man was considered a fitnah (trial, temptation) for women, which needed to be curbed. When Umar ibn al-Khattab, the Muslim Caliph, was once patrolling the city of Medina, he heard a woman singing poetry:

“Is there a way to get some wine to drink or to be with Nasr ibn al-Hajjaj?"

5 Women Who Demanded Monogamy in Early Islam

Although the Qur’an permits polygyny under specific conditions, women have the right to stipulate that their husbands will not take another wife. This is a valid condition according to Muslim legal scholars, and if the husband violates it, the wife has the right to dissolve the marriage. Since the advent of Islam, some women accepted polygyny, some insisted monogamy, and some chose to remain single. Islam gave women the choice, and men were expected to honour their marital contracts and abide by cultural norms. In early Muslim societies, women had some degree of autonomy to themselves and some degree of reciprocity within the marriage.

Wives Request Intimacy Fee From Husbands...

Fourteenth century religious scholar Ibn al-Hajj (d. 1336) wrote about the sexual habits and strange intimacy practices he came across during his stay in Mamluk Egypt. According to the Maliki scholar, both husbands and wives apparently practiced the habit of conjuring the mental image of a beloved during the sexual act and imagining the beloved, and not the spouse to be their sexual partner. Ibn al-Hajj believed this practice to be tantamount to adultery, which would inevitably lead to much sexual chaos. He blamed the practice on the mingling between men and women in Egyptian urban society and on the habit of indulging in sexual talk in male and female gatherings.

Misyar is Arab Hypocrisy, Not Islam

Misyar marriage is a controversial marital arrangement from Saudi Arabia, in which a man marries a woman with the undisclosed intention to divorce her after a certain period of time.

A typical scenario would be that a man would go overseas to study. While abroad, he would "marry" a woman with the undisclosed intention to divorce her upon the completion of his studies. Initially, the grand mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Abdul Aziz bin Baz, considered this marriage to be lawful, and that this marriage is distinguishable from a temporary marriage (zawaj al-mut’ah) because the man did not disclose his divorce intention, thereby he considered it to be a different type of marriage, technically.

How These Muslim Women Are Reclaiming Their Sexuality - Hafsa Lodi for @Refinery29

'Orgasm' and 'Islam' are two words you don’t typically see together. I never thought I’d use them in the same sentence and certainly never imagined I’d have the guts to write publicly about sex. It just isn’t something you talk about as a Muslim, especially if you’re female. And so I can’t help but do a double take when I see the O word used colloquially by female Muslim personalities on social media. A post on @villageauntie’s Instagram states: "My orgasm is not optional." "Orgasm is one part of a spectrum of sexual pleasure that Allah has created our bodies to experience," reads a caption by @sexualhealthformuslims. Both platforms are treasure troves of advice, insight and tips tailored for Muslims – invitations to not-so-secret social media networks that work to remove stigma and democratise faith-based discussions about sex.

"Monogamy, Not Polygyny Is Better" Say Muslim Scholars

Whilst the Qur'an allows men to take up to four wives at one time, many classical scholars of Islam argue that it is preferable for men to be monogamous, not polygynous. Plural marriages was considered as the exception, not the rule.

1) Palestinian jurist Imam al-Shafi’i (d. 820) said:

وأحب له أن يقتصر على واحدة وإن أبيح له أكثر لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً

“I prefer a man to limit himself to one wife, even though it is permissible for him to marry more, due to the saying of Allah Almighty: If you fear you will not be just, then only one. (4:3)” (al-Bayan fi madhhab al-Imam al-Shafiʻi) 2) Iraqi jurist Al-Mawardi (d. 1058) writes:

وَاسْتَحَبَّ الشَّافِعِيُّ أَنْ يَقْتَصِرَ عَلَى وَاحِدَةٍ وَإِنْ أُبِيحَ لَهُ أَكْثَرُ لِيَأْمَنَ الْجَوْرَ بِالْمَيْلِ إِلَى بَعْضِهِنَّ أَوْ بِالْعَجْزِ عَنْ نَفَقَاتِهِنَّ

“Al-Shafi’i recommended that a man limit himself to one wife, even though it is permissible for him to marry more, in order to protect himself from wronging them by inclining more to some of them or being unable to spend equally upon them.” (al-Hawi al-Kabir)

Polygyny Is Not A Right For Every Muslim Man

Although the Qur’an allows Muslim men to have up to four wives, classical scholars argue that it is recommended for men to be monogamous to avoid being unjust. In some cultures and certain circumstances, it may be preferable for men to have multiple wives as long as he can treat the women fairly. It should not involve significant harm to women, whether physically, financially or emotionally. Sadly, many Muslims misinterpret or misunderstand Islam’s stance on plural marriages. Some believe men have an unrestricted right to polygyny. This is not the case as polygyny is a great responsibility in Islam for which a man will be strictly held accountable in front of God on the Day of Judgment.

The Secret Habit: Masturbation in Islamic Law and Arab-Muslim Erotology

Seventh century jurist Amr ibn Dinar said, “I see no problem with masturbation.”

There is a difference of opinion amongst Muslim legal scholars on whether self-pleasure is permissible as there is no explicit Qur'anic verse or authentic hadith which forbids the practice. Erotologist scholars candidly wrote about the prevalence of self-pleasure amongst men and women in medieval Arab-Muslim societies. The pre-Islamic Arabs and early Arab-Muslims used to euphemistically refer to masturbation as “the secret habit” (al-adah al-sirriyah), “hand sex” (nikah al-yad), “churning” and “flogging of Umayra.”

Another popular term for masturbation used by the classical Muslim jurists was istimnaʾ (literally, causing one's semen [manī] to be released). Masturbation was discussed at length in classical Islamic legal (fiqh) texts.

THE FITNAH (TEMPTATION) OF WOMEN IS THE GREATEST TRIAL

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said in an authentic tradition, "I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women."

For men, particularly womanisers, the most difficult trial they are likely to face is to curb their philandering ways for the sake of Allah. It is indeed possible that a Muslim may be a womaniser, just as a Muslim may be a thief, drinker of alcohol or engage in usurious transactions.

Although these are all heinous sins in the eyes of Allah, the Muslim should know that the more arduous the trial is the greater the reward would be with Allah if he or she were to abstain from such wrongdoings. Not everyone will have the same test in life.

CAN A FORNICATOR LOVE ALLAH AND THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH?

A person who commits a major wrong action, such as zina (fornication) or drinking khamr (alcohol), may still have the love of Allah and His Messenger in their heart, as the following tradition makes clear, "Aslam related from Umar ibn al-Khattab that in the time of the Prophet􀀌 there was a man named Abdullah who was nicknamed 'the donkey' and who used to make the Messenger of Allah laugh. The Prophet flogged him for drinking [alcohol]. One day he was brought and he commanded that he be lashed [again for drinking alcohol]. A man among the people said, 'O Allah, curse him! How often he is brought on account of it!' The Prophet said, 'Do not curse him. By Allah, I only know that he loves Allah and His Messenger. "

CAN A TRUE BELIEVER COMMIT ZINA (FORNICATION)?

The Messenger of Allah, said, "When a fornicator is engaged in the act of fornication he is not a believer."
He also said, "When a man fornicates, his faith leaves him and hov­ers above him like a cloud. When he ceases [committing fornication], his faith returns to him." Ibn Rajab (d. 1335) said, "People of knowledge have differed about perpe­trators of major wrong actions as to whether they are called believers (mu'minun) with shortcomings in their faith or as to whether they are not called believers but rather Muslims."

Fornication and Adultery (zina)

In the Qur’an Allah speaks in scathing terms about sex outside law­ful bounds, "And do not go near to fornication (zina). It is an indecent act (fahishah), an evil way." [Qur’an 17:32] Al-QurtubI said: "Scholars said that the [Qur'anic] passage 'And do not go near to fornication ( zina )' is more far reaching than merely saying 'Do not commit fornication (zina),' because the meaning, 'And do not go near to fornication ( zina),' refers to not doing any deed that may come close to fornication or lead to it, such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, looking, speaking with lust and so on."

THE GREATEST LOVE MARRIAGE

The greatest love marriage in the history of Islam was arguably the mar­riage between the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and his beloved first wife, Khadijah hint Khuwaylid. The Prophet married Khadijah when he was twenty-five years old and she was forty years. Despite being fifteen years older and much richer than the Prophet􀀅 Khadijah was drawn to the Prophet after she had heard about his integrity, honesty and principled behaviour.