"Monogamy, Not Polygyny Is Better" Say Muslim Scholars

Whilst the Qur'an allows men to take up to four wives at one time, many classical scholars of Islam argue that it is preferable for men to be monogamous, not polygynous. Plural marriages was considered as the exception, not the rule.

1) Palestinian jurist Imam al-Shafi’i (d. 820) said:

وأحب له أن يقتصر على واحدة وإن أبيح له أكثر لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً

“I prefer a man to limit himself to one wife, even though it is permissible for him to marry more, due to the saying of Allah Almighty: If you fear you will not be just, then only one. (4:3)” (al-Bayan fi madhhab al-Imam al-Shafiʻi) 2) Iraqi jurist Al-Mawardi (d. 1058) writes:

وَاسْتَحَبَّ الشَّافِعِيُّ أَنْ يَقْتَصِرَ عَلَى وَاحِدَةٍ وَإِنْ أُبِيحَ لَهُ أَكْثَرُ لِيَأْمَنَ الْجَوْرَ بِالْمَيْلِ إِلَى بَعْضِهِنَّ أَوْ بِالْعَجْزِ عَنْ نَفَقَاتِهِنَّ

“Al-Shafi’i recommended that a man limit himself to one wife, even though it is permissible for him to marry more, in order to protect himself from wronging them by inclining more to some of them or being unable to spend equally upon them.” (al-Hawi al-Kabir)

Polygyny Is Not A Right For Every Muslim Man

Although the Qur’an allows Muslim men to have up to four wives, classical scholars argue that it is recommended for men to be monogamous to avoid being unjust. In some cultures and certain circumstances, it may be preferable for men to have multiple wives as long as he can treat the women fairly. It should not involve significant harm to women, whether physically, financially or emotionally. Sadly, many Muslims misinterpret or misunderstand Islam’s stance on plural marriages. Some believe men have an unrestricted right to polygyny. This is not the case as polygyny is a great responsibility in Islam for which a man will be strictly held accountable in front of God on the Day of Judgment.

The Secret Habit: Masturbation in Islamic Law and Arab-Muslim Erotology

Seventh century jurist Amr ibn Dinar said, “I see no problem with masturbation.”

There is a difference of opinion amongst Muslim legal scholars on whether self-pleasure is permissible as there is no explicit Qur'anic verse or authentic hadith which forbids the practice. Erotologist scholars candidly wrote about the prevalence of self-pleasure amongst men and women in medieval Arab-Muslim societies. The pre-Islamic Arabs and early Arab-Muslims used to euphemistically refer to masturbation as “the secret habit” (al-adah al-sirriyah), “hand sex” (nikah al-yad), “churning” and “flogging of Umayra.”

Another popular term for masturbation used by the classical Muslim jurists was istimnaʾ (literally, causing one's semen [manī] to be released). Masturbation was discussed at length in classical Islamic legal (fiqh) texts.

THE FITNAH (TEMPTATION) OF WOMEN IS THE GREATEST TRIAL

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said in an authentic tradition, "I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women."

For men, particularly womanisers, the most difficult trial they are likely to face is to curb their philandering ways for the sake of Allah. It is indeed possible that a Muslim may be a womaniser, just as a Muslim may be a thief, drinker of alcohol or engage in usurious transactions.

Although these are all heinous sins in the eyes of Allah, the Muslim should know that the more arduous the trial is the greater the reward would be with Allah if he or she were to abstain from such wrongdoings. Not everyone will have the same test in life.

CAN A FORNICATOR LOVE ALLAH AND THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH?

A person who commits a major wrong action, such as zina (fornication) or drinking khamr (alcohol), may still have the love of Allah and His Messenger in their heart, as the following tradition makes clear, "Aslam related from Umar ibn al-Khattab that in the time of the Prophet􀀌 there was a man named Abdullah who was nicknamed 'the donkey' and who used to make the Messenger of Allah laugh. The Prophet flogged him for drinking [alcohol]. One day he was brought and he commanded that he be lashed [again for drinking alcohol]. A man among the people said, 'O Allah, curse him! How often he is brought on account of it!' The Prophet said, 'Do not curse him. By Allah, I only know that he loves Allah and His Messenger. "

CAN A TRUE BELIEVER COMMIT ZINA (FORNICATION)?

The Messenger of Allah, said, "When a fornicator is engaged in the act of fornication he is not a believer."
He also said, "When a man fornicates, his faith leaves him and hov­ers above him like a cloud. When he ceases [committing fornication], his faith returns to him." Ibn Rajab (d. 1335) said, "People of knowledge have differed about perpe­trators of major wrong actions as to whether they are called believers (mu'minun) with shortcomings in their faith or as to whether they are not called believers but rather Muslims."

Fornication and Adultery (zina)

In the Qur’an Allah speaks in scathing terms about sex outside law­ful bounds, "And do not go near to fornication (zina). It is an indecent act (fahishah), an evil way." [Qur’an 17:32] Al-QurtubI said: "Scholars said that the [Qur'anic] passage 'And do not go near to fornication ( zina )' is more far reaching than merely saying 'Do not commit fornication (zina),' because the meaning, 'And do not go near to fornication ( zina),' refers to not doing any deed that may come close to fornication or lead to it, such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, looking, speaking with lust and so on."

THE GREATEST LOVE MARRIAGE

The greatest love marriage in the history of Islam was arguably the mar­riage between the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and his beloved first wife, Khadijah hint Khuwaylid. The Prophet married Khadijah when he was twenty-five years old and she was forty years. Despite being fifteen years older and much richer than the Prophet􀀅 Khadijah was drawn to the Prophet after she had heard about his integrity, honesty and principled behaviour.

Habeeb Akande Q&A: ‘I’m trying to show people that Islam is a sex-positive religion’

The sex educator and author on combating misinformation and tackling taboos

by Saman Javed, Published on 10 August 2023 for @onlinehyphen
__________________ Habeeb Akande is a British-Nigerian sex educator and accountant. The author of seven books on the history of sex and erotology in Islam, he featured in the 2020 BBC documentary The Orgasm Gap, which compared how societal and cultural attitudes in Rwanda and the UK affect female pleasure.

"In classical Arabic, the word 'nikah' refers to both sex and marriage" - @LeMonde_Afrique

"INTIMATE AFRICA". Habeeb Akande is interested in forgotten sexual practices on the African continent, and in particular the place of female pleasure in Islam.

Interview by Dorothée Myriam Kellou

lemonde.fr/afrique/articl… Habeeb Akande is interested in forgotten sexual practices on the African continent. He has already published seven books at his own expense and with an independent publisher that explore the place of female pleasure in Islam.

Advice to Women - Beware of Wolves in Sheep's Clothing

Women should take heed of the advice of the Prophet (pbuh), and the er­otologist Muslim scholars who spoke frankly about the nature of the male sexual desire. Whether a man appears to be a pious Muslim, or is knowledgeable about the din (religion) of Islam, he is still a man.

Prophetic Guidance on Romantic Love

Described as the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love, romance brings passion and excitement to a relationship which would otherwise deteriorate. Romance is truly a nebulous thing. It is easily describable but not so easily definable. Women crave romance and being loving and affectionate is from the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah. Treating women well is amongst the virtues of Islam which the Qur’an enjoined upon the male believers. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) implemented this Qur’anic injunction in his blessed life and encouraged men to do the same,

“I urge you to treat women kindly. The best of you are those who are kindest to their wives.”

And in another tradition he (pbuh) said,

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives and I am the best amongst you towards my wives!”

"She Is My Intimacy (Unsi)": The Love Poem of Ibn Hajar, An Islamic Scholar's Romantic Ode to Wife

Prior to the colonisation of the Arab-Muslim world, Islamic scholars wrote candidly about romantic love and sexual intimacy. An example of this can be found in the amatory poem of a prominent religious scholar from 15th century Mamluk Egypt, popularly known as Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani. Imam Ahmad ibn Ali Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (d. 1449) is a famed Islamic scholar, Egyptian traditionalist, and renowned jurist of the Shafi’i school of Islamic law. He authored over 150 works on hadith, history, poetry, law, and biographical dictionaries, with the most celebrated work (Fath al-Bari) being his commentary of the authenticated hadiths collected by Imam al-Bukhari.

The Love of Women in Islam

حُبِّبَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ الدُّنْيَا النِّسَاءُ وَالطِّيبُ وَجُعِلَ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِي فِي الصَّلَاةِ

“I was made to love from this world; women and perfume, but the delight of my eyes is in prayer.” - Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)

[Source: Nasa'i] "Whoever loves women as the Prophet did, loves Allah." - Ibn Arabi

فمن أحب النساء حب النبي لهن فقد أحب الله

In Islam, A Woman's Worth Is More Than Being A Wife Or A Mother...

The Qur'an cites a childless woman and a single mother as Muslim role models. Asiya and Maryam were praised by Allah for their firm faith and good deeds. (Read the 66th chapter of the Qur'an) Asiya was married to a wealthy, powerful man, but she was abused and tortured. Maryam was the mother of a righteous prophet, but she was accused of fornication.

The Qur'an exonerated both of these women as they were dutiful and faithful women of God.

THE NATURE OF PROPHETIC SPEECH: PREACHER VS. LAWYER - @JonathanACBrown author of Hadith

"In a 2012 study, a computer-run stylistic analysis of the Quran and a selection of hadiths demonstrated that the Quran and the hadiths come from two different speakers. That is not surprising. What is interesting is that the study shows a stylistic consistency in the language of the hadith corpus. There has always been disagreement over whether the orthodox collections of hadiths in Islam represent an intact record of the Prophet Muhammad’s words. But whether they actually came from the Prophet’s mouth or not, there is certainly a Prophetic style of Arabic expression, one that anyone who reads even a small selection of hadiths quickly notices. One of the most striking features of the Prophetic style in hadiths is the frequency of hyperbole. In one hadith the Prophet states, ‘Cursing a Muslim is iniquity and fighting one is unbelief (kufr).’ In another he says, ‘No one will enter Heaven who has even a grain’s weight of pride in his heart,’ and in another hadith he declares, ‘One who cheats is not from among us.’ These are all dramatic statements, but the way in which Muslim scholars have understood them has differed dramatically from their evident meaning.

Islam Against Domestic Violence: 8 Stories To Know...

Gender-based violence against women affects one in three women, worldwide. It's a global pandemic. Domestic violence is prohibited in Islam. It is totally unacceptable for a man to physically, emotionally, sexually or spiritually abuse any woman, including his wife. No blame or fault should be attached to any woman or child who has been a victim / survivor of domestic violence. As a community leader, the Prophet spoke out against spousal abuse, advocated for the oppressed, and held perpetrators accountable. Below are 8 stories on Islam's strong stance against domestic violence as exemplified during the blessed life of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

Loving Black Women in Islam: 7 Muslim Women To Know...

Whilst Islam as a religion preaches racial equality, black Muslim women are often marginalised in Arabic-Islamic literature and Muslim communities. In contrast, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) honoured, advocated, and actively supported marginalised black and African women in the early Arab-Muslim society.

Below are 7 examples of the Prophet loving black women of God: 1. The Prophet was raised by a black African woman, "Umm Ayman is my mother after my mother."

The Qur’an on Marital Intimacy

1. "He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in security with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts." [30:21]. 2. "Live with your wives in kindness and equity" [4:19]

Compatible Marriage

تخيّروا لنطفكم فانكحوا الأكفاء وانكحوا إليهم

“Choose carefully for your seed. Marry compatible women, and marry [your women] to those who are compatible with them.” - Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

[Ibn Majah] God says in the Qur’an, “Corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men are for corrupt women; good women are for good men and good men are for good women. The good are innocent of what has been said against them; they will have forgiveness and a generous provision.” (24:26)

A Sister’s Love, Ella Collins: The Forgotten Sister who Helped Malcolm X

Ella Collins was an American human rights activist and the half-sister of Malcolm X. Ella was an independent and proud dark-skinned black woman who played a very significant role throughout the various stages of Malcolm’s life. She was his guardian, trusted adviser and firm supporter of his various causes. Despite playing such a crucial role in Malcolm’s development, Ella is conspicuously absent from Spike Lee’s acclaimed film Malcolm X (1992), and she rarely gets a mention in discussions about notable black and Muslim figures in recent history. In an attempt to raise awareness of Ella Collins’ important contributions to Malcolm’s life and her human rights activism, below are some facts from this inspiring but often forgotten woman’s life;