Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire by @DashMacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them. Comedy is cathartic in fascist eras like ours
Jun 26 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: ICE is asking people to stop clogging their hotline by calling in and reporting an undocumented girl named “Anne Frank” hiding in the top floor of various Republican lawmakers’ houses.
Fascist eras call for Dadaist graffiti news medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Mar 6 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: National security officials say they're worried Trump is "dangerously close" to antagonizing the Europeans to the point of releasing intel their spy agencies may have found on Trump's Epstein connections, Russian mafia ties, secret children, and prostitute honey traps.
Trump's chef knows somethings up as well! medium.com/p/d2e27ef50807
Feb 22 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: Elon Musk is reportedly nervous that if everyone boycotts Tesla stock he’ll have to default on all his loans collateralized by the stock value, and he’ll be penniless in days.
With Elon Musk, Trump found the only person as psychologically lonely and desperate for adoration as him. medium.com/p/1241cec4ab53
Feb 10 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: A January 6th insurrectionist pardoned by Donald Trump accidentally burned down his house yesterday during the Super Bowl after he lit a pile of his teen daughter’s Taylor Swift t-shirts on fire.
The stench is reportedly overwhelming medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Jan 28 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
BREAKING: ICE just announced it is pausing the hotline where people can call to report undocumented immigrants because 90% of the calls are from people reporting Elon Musk.
Elon Musk is on a collision course with hubris melting his wings. medium.com/p/1241cec4ab53
Jan 25 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: Elon Musk is reportedly furious people keep calling Tesla vehicles “swasticars.”
This is the agenda for the second Trump term. medium.com/thought-thinke…
Dec 14, 2024 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: The National Association of Tuba Musicians is reportedly raising money to bus 1,500 tuba players from around the nation to attend Donald Trump's inauguration speech and play their tubas while he's speaking.
Women's revenge is coming for Project 2025 medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Nov 4, 2024 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
BREAKING: Donald Trump has reportedly been calling Republican members of Congress all morning and threatening them if they acknowledge a Harris victory on election day or announce the party needs to "move on" from him.
Leopards. Faces. medium.com/the-left-is-ri…
Oct 9, 2024 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
BREAKING: An outbreak of E. coli and Salmonella is currently raging through a group of MAGA fans in Idaho who have started drinking raw milk following Marjorie Taylor Greene's accusation that pasteurization is a Jewish plot to secretly vaccinate dairy consumers against COVID.
Marge is back on the dating market. See if you're a good match for her! medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Jul 27, 2024 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: A new TikTok trend involves Gen Z teens leaving open cat food tins and catnip all around Trump-Vance campaign offices so stray cats start hanging around.
Republicans are terrified of Kamala medium.com/the-left-is-ri…
Jul 17, 2024 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
BREAKING: Dozens of downtown Milwaukee bars and nightclubs are hosting drag shows each night this week so Republicans have nowhere to go to party after the convention.
Points to Josh Hawley for honesty medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Jul 6, 2024 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
BREAKING: The Project 25 group says women should be mandated to carry "period passports" that track their menstrual cycles and must be kept up to date, and women must present these to police officers during random ID checks to monitor pregnancies.
BREAKING: The Project 25 group’s offices have reportedly been receiving used tampons in the mail after Gen Z started a TikTok trend to protest the sick perverts who are so obsessed with controlling women.
Mar 21, 2024 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: A televangelist in Oklahoma says if Donald Trump loses Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower it'll be obvious God doesn’t exist so nothing matters and he “might as well quit church and start being gay.”
A Homophobic Televangelist Claims His Gay Sex Tape Is “All A Big Misunderstanding” ⬇️ medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Mar 7, 2024 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
BREAKING: A televangelist in Arkansas claims Taylor Swift is "brainwashing an army of young women and girls into feminist freedom fighters to someday conquer the United States and enslave all the men and peg them."
Meet The Pastor Who Believes Trump Is The Second Coming Of Jesus ⬇️ medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Dec 16, 2023 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: A group of MAGA fans in Idaho just started a hunger strike they vow to continue until Joe Biden pardons Donald Trump.
Donald Trump Had To Be Physically Restrained Today In Court (Link ⬇️) medium.com/@dashmacintyre…
Jul 8, 2023 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: Florida Republicans want to ban “feminine products” from regular stores so Christians don’t have to see them, and have proposed creating a DMV-like government building where women must get a ticket and wait hours in order to buy tampons, pads, or Vagisil.
dashmacintyre.medium.com/if-women-wrote…
Jun 15, 2023 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: A hospital in the most MAGA town in America just bought 20 iron lungs because of an outbreak of polio after the mayor declared all vaccines were a "socialist brainwashing plot to inject people with Satan's semen."
dashmacintyre.medium.com/the-21worst-la…
Jun 14, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: After the Miami police fingerprinted Donald Trump, his prints matched some found at a crime scene of a McDonalds robbery in the 1970s.
dashmacintyre.medium.com/germany-was-no…
Jun 13, 2023 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: Donald Trump was reportedly difficult to fingerprint today because of the fried chicken grease and dried ketchup coating his fingers.
dashmacintyre.medium.com/trumps-white-h…
Jun 1, 2023 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
BREAKING: A MAGA country singer who claimed his music is written “to raise awareness about all the children whose blood is drank by Democrats” just got arrested for possessing child pornography.
dashmacintyre.medium.com/7-grocery-chai…
May 31, 2023 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
BREAKING: A group of 35 MAGA fans in Idaho are on a hunger strike, and say they will not eat again until every corporation in America renounces homosexuality.
dashmacintyre.medium.com/a-day-in-the-l…
