Honestly, Ed was surprised it didn't happen earlier. They had been sniping at each other for weeks, always at each other's throats (not even in the sexy way), always nagging and bickering.

So when Ed heard them fucking in the walls, he felt.. relief.

https://twitter.com/ImproperDepress/status/1794840256296141168

His prim and proper husband was fucking Izzy.

Part of Ed was furious, of course, even while he was jerking off about it.

How dare he!

But the bigger part, the one fingering himself to the thoughts of Izzy and Stede fucking.. Well. It just thought that it was hot.

anyone up for some pining, courtly love, stupid men in love, stizzy?

good!

They meet in the secret passage ways, that sneak throughout the Revenge. It's quiet, here, hidden from view.

Hidden from Edwards eyes, lest he see he's husband fuck another man. Izzy has long since run out of excuses, convenient or not, for their betrayal. It had been too hot out, Bonnet to grading, lies upon lies. He's sick of them, of this game.

It doesn't stop him from following Bonnet into the walls, of course.

That fucker keeps putting his hands in Izzys waist, and Stede just about breaks the glass he's holding. Ed isn't looking any better, his pipe clutched too tightly in his hand.

Izzy keeps talking to him, for some fucking reason, angled so his "boyfriends" can see it.

https://twitter.com/GothNerd98/status/1781755584515035175

That bastards hand starts to wander down, and Stede nearly bites through his tongue.

How fucking dare he touch HIS Izzy! Stede should rip his heart out, make Izzy eat it so he'll never leave their side again.

But they're in polite company,

Downloading Grindr had been horrible for Stedes self worth. There's not like being rejected time and time again, by all the gay men in his surrounding area.

It stung, and he nearly deleted the app until-

Until he saw Them. The perfect couple.

https://twitter.com/MntlyDevastated/status/1781765843119931608

Two men, one with a long silvery beard wearing a leather jacket, the other wearing a leather harness and the greatest chest Stede had ever seen.

Both their faces were cropped out, artfully so. Their pose was relaxed, alluring, tempting.

They messaged him first.

Maybe going out for a few drinks before their "wedding" hadn't been the best idea, looking back on it. Izzy had spend most of the night sulking in the corner while Edward danced with random strangers, sipping on his cocktail while playing with their wedding rings.

https://twitter.com/CoffeeCatsJA/status/1781768369735131599

It made sense, to get married to each other. Wasn't for love, at least not from Eds side, just made everything easier.

Ed wouldn't have to keep renewing his visa and Izzy could spend the rest of his life by his side. An easy choice, really.

Being captain had a lot of perks, Frenchie had quickly realized. He got first dibs on most things, the biggest room and didn't have to swap the decks anymore!

But there were also a few .. cons he hadn't realized.

Like taking care of Izzy. It wasn't like the taking care part was the con! Frenchie loved to cuddle up with Izzy, to brush out his hair and have him kneel at his feet. Those parts all rocked!

But as it turned out, every captain Izzy had before Frenchie sucked.

Being pregnant fucking sucks! Izzy doesn't know what all those peppy assholes on the pregnancy classes are on about, this shit fucking sucks.

His ankles hurt, he's swollen with two idiots puppies and they're out of ice cream. Again.

https://twitter.com/AFanForAllAges/status/1774483194554814911

Laying down feels like heaven, until it doesn't and his back starts aching.

Fuck all of this. Should have kicked both of those assholes to the curb!

Izzy grumbles loudly, then louder when no one hears him. Finally, Stede pops his head in and asks what's going on.

Most dogboys hate the hose, and Stede is no exception. He doesn't stay still, keeps wiggling around as Jack hoses him down.

Jack watches as his ears keep twitching, his teeth grinding together as he tries to keep from snapping.

https://twitter.com/ImproperDepress/status/1774894563712262655

His dick is still hard, swinging between his legs as Jack pulls out the shampoo bottle.

Goldendoodles have the most annoying fur, Jack thinks to himself as he starts whistling. He spreads the shampoo over Stede's fur, rubs it into his back, then ass.

When Ed had picked up Stede from the pound, the guy at the front desk had warned him, told him that Stede had been returned twice before due to his "behavioral issues".

The dogboy had bitten one of his previous owners, nearly got put down because of it.

https://twitter.com/DarkCaustic/status/1774500139346039009

He only survived because his breed, the goldendoodle, was expensive and highly sought after.

(Ed had googled the breed before he had signed the papers. A certified, young dogboy could easily cost over two grand.)

Even an used dogboy like Stede could cost a fortune.

Its almost funny, how quickly the "Gentleman Pirate" had folded under their .. attention.

He had just gotten stabbed by the spanish when Ed has arrived with smoke and gunfire, laid out on the floor like an uncooked chicken.

https://twitter.com/lovedhands/status/1774161423574138938

Edward had stared down at him, this strange little dogboy. Clearly wellbred, with golden fur covering his pinned back ears.

Who had ever heard of such a thing! A dogboy out on the sea.. Izzy had spit in his face, the moment he had woken up.

"The legs gotta go." Archie pokes at the mess that is Izzy's leg, grimaces at the squelch his flesh makes. "Gone, rotten, doneso."

"Fuck." Gently, Jim takes Izzy's hand and presses a kiss to the naked skin. Its still so strange to see him without the glove,

https://twitter.com/Rose_n_Lorry12/status/1769810565721952379

but it's far easier to feel his clammy skin like that.

Fidgeting from side to side, Archie jokes. "Chop chop! A quick little cut, no big deal, done it dozens of times. With snakes. Not humans." She adds, grinning with too little confidence.

While the Revenge might be a disfunctional piece of shit company, The Queen Anne's Revenge still worked with the deadly efficiency Izzy had instilled in all his workers.

No one dares to question him when he walks back in after three months, no one bothers him and most importantly.. no one flirts with him on company time.

Izzy sits down in his ergonomic chair, boots up his PC.

He is going to ruin Stede Bonnets life.

Fuck that fucker! How dare he ensnare Edward into his silly schemes!

Izzy lasts two nights on Jackies couch. Its not the worst thing to sleep on, but it's barely better than the ground.

A few of her husbands offer up their beds, but Izzy just takes one look at them and calls Jack Rackham instead. After all, Jack still owes him. Sure, they haven't talked in.. fuck, years, since Edward and Jack had their big falling out, but that fucker can't be too far away.

Its a miracle that his number still works. Izzy chews on his lips, counts the seconds.

Jack groans, presses his face deeper into the couch cushion. This might be the first couch he's laid on that actually smells nice.

"The fuck did you do to your couch?"

"Hm?" The sound of chopping stops for a moment. "Is something wrong?"

"Your couch smells nice." "Uh, I guess? Sally, she puts this powder stuff on it, twice a month." Shrugging, Lin checks on the pots on the stove.

Of course Lin is the type of person to have a nice couch. Jack groans again, too fucking jet lagged to do anything else.

"Not that I don't love having you,

something thats been pickling in the brain:

The man that used to be Israel Hands died years ago. The how doesnt matter (ed cant remember, just remembers holding izzys lifeless body and sobbing), the when isnt so important either.

After Izzy died, Ed fell apart- spend all his time looking for some way to bring Izzy back.

Even the most powerful magic users told him that, no, actually, you cant bring people back from the dead.

But Ed wasnt willing to give up.

If he couldnt bring Izzy back, could he just.. make a new Izzy?

There is something to be said about waking up covered in someone else's bodily fluids, Izzy thinks to himself. Something sticky and uncomfortable and -

Just how much come can one person produce? Did Jack stock up before the orgy, or is it all natural? If so, what the fuck are they feeding the guy?

Izzy does not think about the taste in his mouth (it's Stedes jizz), instead he gets up and takes a swing of water from the bottle left on his bedside table. Its nice and cold, soothing his sore throat.

Ed steps out of the bathroom, pretends to not notice everyone staring at him. Their eyes are on him, as they should be, as he walks towards the table.

Of course Izzy has to wash his hands, always the neat freak. What else had Ed expected? content warnings: public sex play. teasing. poor Lucius suffering. cheating. happy edizzy. shower sex.

Its fun, watching Izzy squirm in his seat, glancing all over the room like people can tell how full he is, just by looking at him.

They probably can, Ed thinks to himself. The bruises have faded the slightest bit, in the what, five hours since they had their video chat? (content warnings: edizzy, bathroom sex. semi public. piss play.. mouth washing.. stall licking(is that a kink? most likely)..anal sex.. rough sex.. degradation.. cheating(Ed) .. happy ending?)

part one:

https://twitter.com/ImproperDepress/status/1758906206263898190

Izzy has unblocked him.

Edward realizes it at 2:42 am, after he's given up on falling asleep. He and Stede had fucked, and as always, Stede had falled asleep right afterwards, leaving Ed frustrated and awake.

Izzy has blocked him, shortly after the divorce, told him (via Fang) that it wasn't anything personal, just something he had to do. Said it was too much, seeing their wedding preparations all over his feed.

But now, Izzy had unblocked him, his post got shared to the SJ Facebook group.

He's smiling in the picture,

#HappyEdizzyWeek

"You come here often?"

Izzy sighs, then looks up from his crossword puzzle. He had literally *just* sat down to work on it.

"What?"

"Do you come here often?"

It's too fucking early for this bullshit, valentines day or not!

https://twitter.com/BookofOak/status/1755306615547347123

"Awww, c'mon, why the grumpy face?" Leaning against the counter, Ed peered over Izzy's shoulder. "Eight down is Caravan."

"Edward, I will stab you to fucking death with my pen if you keep fucking spoiling the solutions." Izzy gripped the pen harder,

Fang and Lucius are fucking. That's nothing new, they've been seeing each other for years, long before Izzy came into the picture.

It's nothing new. It shouldn't be an issue.

Why is this suddenly an issue? Izzy grinds his palms into his eyes, breathes heavily. He's supposed to be doing paperwork. He's supposed to be *good* and behave and do something productive, because when Lucius had asked if Izzy wanted to join them, Izzy had felt faint.

Fang and Lucius fucking is nothing new. It's okay. It's okay.