Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) Profile picture
I make many, many podcasts for Cool Zone Media. You can find things I've written at Bellingcat, New Lines Magazine, Rolling Stone, Business Insider, and more.
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Jul 19 4 tweets 1 min read
this is the only way to beat Republicans. you don't try to understand them. You don't try to compromise. You stick your fucking thumbs in their eyes and fuck the bloody hole. that's what they'll do to you. That's what you do to them. I was raised by these people and let me tell you they will burn this world to the ground for a tax cut and the feeling that they're "winning". you do them a favor by fighting them. they need to lose. the ones who aren't totally gone know this, somewhere, deep inside. beat them .
Jul 16 12 tweets 4 min read
A man has been shot and killed by Columbus Police in town for the RNC. Man was brandishing a knife or knives. Described as a black male.

So far believed to be unrelated to RNC, not a protest or anything.

Heading over there with Dan now. This is out side the MLK Community Center. Like twenty or thirty minutes away from the Convention itself. Unclear why Columbus PD guys in town for the convention were this far away from venue
Jul 15 9 tweets 3 min read
just entered the Republican National Convention and honestly more wacky inflatable arm flailing tube men than I expected it's an open bar. several open bars. this could be a problem. Image
Jul 13 4 tweets 1 min read
so I hear three shots fairly close together here that I am guessing is the shooter than a bunch of shots that are probably the cops taking him down. my guess would be shooter had a semi auto handgun but it could've been some garage built shit, hard to say rn it doesn't sound like a rifle, and my guess would be shooter was not terribly far. so how did they get a firearm into the venue? there are a shitload of cops at these events, not impossible one of them might've done this. or the worst secret service fuck up in decades
Apr 19 4 tweets 2 min read
the guy who self immolated outside Trump's courtroom expressed a lot of normal conspiracy stuff: predictive programming, the secret masters of the world hide sinister plots in plain site using TV and music

he is also obsessed with scams, and not irrationally so Image he considers cryptocurrency as a global ponzi scheme by the elite to destroy civilization. my guess is he lost money in a big way. he is correct that a number of major industrial leaders- Musk and Thiel- are advocates of massive crypto cons, ponzi schemes Image
Mar 10, 2023 4 tweets 1 min read
so here's what's happened: there's a bank in Silicon Valley that funds all the gambling tech weirdos did in the low interest rate years

that bank made some bad bets that the good times would continue

now about $160 billion in the richest people's deposits are unsecured at the moment we are looking at a run on the chief bank for rich gamblers. but banks in the EU and other parts of the US are already down tens of billions in cumulative trades due to the panic

Depending on how it shakes out this could cause rather severe knock on effects
Mar 9, 2023 4 tweets 1 min read
there really aren't many people with weirder life archs than Arnold. trying to explain his existence in like, 150 years is going to be almost impossible "he was raised by former Nazis in the shadow of war and became a steroid addicted bodybuilder who once told a journalist lifting weights made him feel like cumming. then he tried to star in a movie without speaking the language and later became the biggest star on earth"
Jan 28, 2023 18 tweets 3 min read
the start of the Tyre Nichols video shows a group of police, for no discernable reason, immediately escalating to violence, threatening and hitting a young man while shouting contradictory orders at him

they threaten to tase him if he does not lie down, while he is lying down he escapes. the police attempt to tase him. then they stand around panting and drinking water. they are all absolutely gassed from beating a skinny young man five to one.
Dec 16, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
this is the only show I've ever wanted to write for look, on the off chance someone involved with this show follows me, this is my audition:

Dec 8, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
Since September we have attacks on at least five power substations in Washington and Oregon. Multiple stations taken out in North Carolina. An attack on power workers in South Carolina. And now intrusions in at least four locations in Florida. Now part of the story here is that vandalism etc on power substations is more common than you'd guess. A number of these are likely business as usual. But in 2023 a group of Nazis in North Carolina was arrested for plotting to attack power infastructure in the PNW and NC.
Nov 26, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
to be serious for a moment: building and launching a smartphone that meaningfully takes market share from Apple & Google is harder than making rockets

Building rockets is all math and science and iteration. You test new rockets until they work the way you need them to work. There are many more variables in cracking the smartphone market, and most of them are not technical. Anyone with money can have an OEM make them a phone. But the tech industry graveyard is littered with huge companies- RIM, Motorola, Nokia, etc- who failed to crack this market
Aug 30, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
i dunno what bootlicker shit happened to country these last years, but I remember being like 12 and listening to "the road goes on forever", a song about how drug smuggling is unproblematic and executing a cop in the street is romantic as hell btw that song still fucks
Aug 25, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
my student loans have been paid off for years. I worked very hard (sold and wrote a fucking book) to clear them.

I am glad people with loans got $10k taken off, and I would be happy if we spent government funds paying off everyone's in full.

It was a scam. i have been fortunate enough to avoid falling for any MLM scams or other kinds of pyramid scheme. The one exception is college student loans. The whole industry is a giant fucking con on the level of doTERRA or Cutco.
Aug 24, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
i don't want to dissuade anyone from going after Kiwifarms. But sites like this are extremely hard to kill. There's nearly always someone willing to host them and provide critical services.

Remember the fight to take 8chan offline. It was a partial victory at best. I think some folks are equating the ease of getting outrage against this site trending with an ability to force them offline, and that wasn't possible to do with the website that racked up a body count of seventy plus people in a year.
Aug 22, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
this is actually a broader issue in consumer tech, smartphones experience the same problem now. These products have gotten functionally as good as they can get, keeping in mind limitations (like streaming resolution or network speed) which rely on more than the device itself when i moved into a larger place i bought an 80 inch TV that cost less than my 40 inch TV a decade ago. i cannot imagine an additional practical feature I'd want this TV to have. I plan to keep it until it dies, upgrading would be pointless
Aug 9, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
the FBI raid on Mar a'Lago definitely has the potential to spark reprisal attacks, both on federal law enforcement and anything deemed representative of "the left".

The former is simple enough, and I presume those facilities are hardened. What concerns me is the latter. Everything from school libraries to homeless encampments to drag queen events gets accused of being a sinister hotspot of left wing organizing. I am somewhat less concerned about a new McVeigh than the near certainty of disorganized reprisals.
Aug 7, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
i want a Predator film set in the winter camp of an early Imperial Roman legion somewhere in modern day England i want to see a Predator who comes to earth during the final siege of Constantinople. Give us an Ottoman equivalent to Jesse's Ventura's character, firing a bronze bombard cannon from the hip
Aug 2, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
i've told this story a few times, but as a kid in Plano like half the dads in my Boy Scout troop were Raytheon employees (my dad wrote for Barney and Radio Disney). All of them did stuff they could broadly talk about but our scoutmaster. The other adults all jokes about the fact that, whatever he did, was fucking hush hush even to them. I've no idea what project(s) he worked on, but the way he dealt with it was to spend several weeks alone at the bottom of the Grand Canyon every year
Aug 2, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
thinking about how Hot Fuzz dealt with the "some people become cops for good reasons" by revealing that Nicholas's cop uncle turned out to be crooked, and that the entire London police force sent him off to certain death when he did their job competently low key one of the most based mainstream movies with people who are ostensibly cops as the main characters
May 26, 2022 6 tweets 2 min read
when you carried a gun as a federal agent, federal agents killed 20 children at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco hey remember that time a federal agent did a backflip at a bar then his gun fell out and shot a guy

nbcnews.com/news/us-news/d…
May 25, 2022 8 tweets 2 min read
an important thing to understand is that most people who have murdered large numbers of human beings were not mentally ill in any way most people who have shot children to death were perfectly sane and did so for reasons that were perfectly rational